How to fuck up an interaction and ensuing text-game
Also a warning - couldn't get the texts to format properly (with colors and shit) without sending off the Cloudflare warning.
Lol. Don't be such a defeatist.
Now let's see this text convo ;)
The hangover drunken stumbling not surviving the day text.. makes you come off like a real winner. PFF. Yes bro a text like that is really going to inspire a woman to let you put your penis inside of her. DURR
You see how your shitty mentality breeds itself into your texts? Fucking stop that shit. You crawled in from the cold with your dinner? Cool bro. You sound like a real fucking winner
I've been using that self-deprecating humor for ages so it's become a habit. I can see now that it's stupid to write shit like that to a girl, I should be going in the opposite direction (arrogant, cocky). Thanks for pointing that out.
As for the defeatist attutide I've realized that it's a defence mechanism. I'm hiding behind a sarcastic "well, I fucked up again lol" attitude to avoid being vulnerable by stepping up.
Been looking at a "that's not cool, but still leave a way back into the fold" text, and this is what I've come up with.
"If you're just going to be like this then I won't bother. Thought you'd be more interesting."
"Okay, fuck this. Thought you might be more interesting, guess not"
"Fuck this, I'm not gonna bother talking to someone who obviously doesn't give a shit. Too bad"
Does that sound butthurt or is it near acceptable?
Not sure if I should add humour in the mix either. If so, maybe something like this:
"If you're just going to be like this then I won't bother. If I wanted to talk to someone that didn't give a shit I'd talk to my cat."
Update: Just got a text from her:
Her: "Haha, sorry - I'm a bit sick today so things are going slooow.... What did you see in the opera? Are you trying to understand me? Sweet ;)"
So apparently all hope isn't lost.
Me: Omg that's right I got your number. Completely forgot
Don't send texts like that, it's an obvious lie and is very try hard. It automatically brings down your value. It's actually lazy when you really think about it.
Good post I think your pretty creative just not using the right energy like MW said, never looked at it that way. I think you can still recover from this.
Cheers Meow, appreciate the insights man.
Aight. Now go cocky/funny and start seeding the meetup. Use the opera context and whatever else she gave you. Yes you can be a bit admonishing right now as well. She needs to know her texting/calling habits aren't going to work.
Okay, gonna throw up some shit I came up with.
“yeah, but you’re impossible. It was way easier to try to understand the fat dudes at the opera than you over text”
"yeah, but listening to fat dudes sing for 3 hours was easier to tolerate than your texting."
"yeah, but you're impossible. The fat dudes singing at the opera made more sense than your texting. And they had fuckin weird ass costumes on."
"Pfft, it's too fuckin hard. You just stop responding outta nowhere and never pickup the phone. It was easier to understand the fat dudes at the opera than you tbh"
And then seed the meetup with:
“I think we should do this face to face instead beb”
Naw I don't even start trying to understand a woman till I hang out with her a bit ;). Otherwise just gonna assume she's at least half crazy
The opera? I saw a bitch get murdered for not returning texts. So sad I know.. but I laughed ;)
I'm being a bit theatrical with these but these are some directions to think about. Go with either of them if you want. They're a bit strong but for a girl you've beef'd so hard with it's one of the only ways to gain some credibility back with her.
Honestly you didn't beef that hard with her.. for normal standards. But for "I'm a guy that bangs girls" standards, you sucked. ;)
Thanks for all the help dudes, really appreciate it.
yeah ah man but don't have any kind of defeatist mindset. Focus on all the shit you learned and all the positive. Bad shit happens? Find out all the THINGS you can learn from it. It'll just make you a happier more self-confident dude.
That's gold, Kim - gonna take that shit to heart.
I ended up sending the topmost text, but of course she didn't reply, lol. I've got some other dates set up the coming days so I'm not really bothered, but I'm wondering whether it's best to act now or wait a couple of days to reengage her? Thinking of using the haircut line.
"pfft, that's fine. didn't like your haircut anway"
And if that doesn't get a reply then I'll just cut her out for a while.
Yeah send it now. "That's fine. I didn't like your haircut anyway"
She may not respond immediately, but she'll be tickled pink. When she does respond you'll probably want to ignore her the first time. Then hit her up again in a couple days like nothing happened.
Thanks for all the help dudes!
So I sent the message, and this is what followed:
Me: That's fine I didn't like your haircut anyway
Her: 1 min later: Sorry ninjakale but I'm feeling ill and haven't been well enough to answer lately.. Well, thanks for the compliment
I panic a bit here and think "whoa, okay - guess I should be nice about it"
Really wish I'd seen MW's post about ignoring her first reply. Goddamn it.
Me: 10 mins later: Ah, that sucks :/ Feelin better now? (ugh)
Me: If it's any comfort I just spent a week in a hotel room in Berlin with a crazy fever. Saw pink elephants and clowns n shit all day
Her: 5 mins later: Thank you, that helps. Yeah, I'm better now ;) Clowns are fun... :D
Me: 1 hour later (didn't see her text): Hah, well I'm glad my suffering is giving you joy. Whatchu doing now?
Her: 1 hour later: Gonna go buy some alcohol for tonight. Good medicine I guess...?
Me: 20 mins later: Hah yeah, real smart
Me: I'm assuming you're buying ratzeputs (really awful liquor we drank on New Years)
-- No response --
Me: Picture of Pinocchio lying face down in a river
Me: Is this you today?
Her: 5 hours later: Nooo :) It was a quiet night! No ratzeputz. How are you feeling?
At this point I'm thinking "fuck, this girl will just stop responding whenever she damn feels like it so I'm just gonna go for it (again) )
Me: 1 hour later: Oh well, can't stay up until 7AM each time
Me: What are you doing next week? I'm gonna sneak you out before you forget to respond again
Her: 2 hours later: True that. I'm gonna train a lot after work this week, I've got a skiing race coming up ;) Do you like to ski?
(I was on a date at this point so I didn't see her text until the next morning.)
Me: Yeah, skiing's the shit! I'm guessing you're a bit more competetive than me since you're racing and shit, but we'll have fun (lol, I just assumed she was asking me to go skiing with her)
Me: What day did you have in mind?
-- No response --
Me: Omg focus Linn! We talked about this
-- No response --
Her: Omg Ninjakale. You're a bit aggressive.. I'm not really sure what you're trying to achieve here, but I'm pretty busy these days. I hope everything's good :)
So I'm thinking that's basically her telling me to fuck off at this point, but as I said earlier I don't give up until all bridges are burnt. So I was thinking of sending something like:
"lol I'm just trying to meet up with you because I think we'll have fun, but you're making it hella hard for some reason"
and maybe throw in something like
"wait, are you a nun or something"
I should've pulled the trigger during that first text exchange following the "haircut" line since I had gotten some compliance and momentum. At this point I'm just banging my head against the wall.
Thanks for reading guys, really appreciate it.