Humor 101: Humor Trumps "self-amusement" ANY DAY
I'm gonna give you guys a crash-course in humor 101. I've seen a bunch of dude's text conversations, that are completely devoid of humor, or even saying stupid shit and using "self-amusement" to excuse it and the girl is left going "what the fuck?" I think the way most people see "self-amusement" is either BS or largely misconstrued to justify doing STUPID ASS stuff. You see vidoes of Julien telling you to "lower your standards of what's funny," Like, "Oh, look at that rock. That shit is funny as FUCK."
No it's not, guy.
As far attraction goes, sure, self-amusement may work because it shows that you own your own reality. However, self-amusement is only part of real sense of humor. Just self-amusing is like being handicapped... girls might give you a license plate so you can park closer to the building, but you're not gonna play in the NFL. Having a real sense of humor will BLOW S.A. OUT OF THE WATER. Humor is one of the most attractive qualities you can own. In terms of sexual selection, it demonstrates a whole array of mate-worthy characteristics, primarily intelligence. You name it...
Read this joke and I'll take you through the theory and then to the practical aspects:
over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows
a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
There are many theories about humor, some that date back to Ancient Greek philosophy, such as Superiority Theory. IE we laugh when we feel a sense of superiority over someone or something. For me though, these theories don't accurately or applicably describe humor in a way that we can USE. I read a study done by Peter McGraw and Caleb Warren at University of Colorado's Humor Research Lab (HuRL), where they tested their Benign Vioaltion Theory of Humor. You can read the publication by McGraw and Warren (extra credit) here: http://leeds-faculty.colorado.edu/mcgrawp/pdf/mcgraw.warren.inpress.pdf
The results of their study where that the majority of people found a situation humorous as long as three conditions exist:
2) the violation is benign, and
3) a person sees both interpretations at the same time.
So let's break down the monkey joke...
What is the violation? ...The monkey sticking the cherry up his ass and then eating it. That's disgusting!
What makes the violation benign? The monkey stuck the cherry up his ass because he needs to make sure it will fit.
How do we see both interpretations at the same time? The punchline is what brings the two elements together; the violation, and the factor that makes it benign. "ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."
How do we make it NOT funny? Take away the violation: the monkey ate a cue ball (benign)
How do we make it offensive? Take away the harmlessness: the monkey stuck a cherry up his ass and ate it (violation)
Notice also, the importance of surprise. The ORDER of what is taking place: benign circumstance + violation THEN tying them together = surprised humor. If I told the joke in the wrong order, monkey sticks cherry up ass, he did it because he ate a cue ball last week, it drastically reduces the effectiveness of the humor. I'm essentially merging conditions 2 and 3 into one... NOT FUNNY.
setup for the violation
The bigger the violation and the more "benign" it is, the funnier it is
Take this for example: How do you make a baby walk in circles? That's pretty benign. Here's the "violation." You nail his foot to the floor.
**HOW TO BE FUNNY** />
Tell a story, but be sure to keep in mind the order of the elements:
In high school we used to go out to The Dunes and party. One time, one of the guys out there drank too much and passed out. We got the good idea to pull his pants off and take a dump in them and then put them back on him. We woke up the next morning, he was super hung over and he was like, "AW man, I'm gonna go take a pee." He came back all pissed off and said, "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! I HAVENT HAD CORN IN A MONTH!"
Use puns:
Puns are harmless violations of normal use of language. For example:
Pen Island
Mr. Ben Dova
Reframes (this is the kind I use most in person):
(a text I sent a minute ago)
My sister: "Grandpa's in the hospital. I guess he has an aneurism in his groin."
Me: "So... grandpa got a cock clot?"
Create imaginary scenarios (This is the #1 thing you should get good at):
Honestly the comedian Pablo Francisco is a MASTER at this. Watch all his standup. Like this vid, skip to 5:00 minutes and you'll see what I'm talking about
Awesome post dude
Thank you. It's something you don't see anybody in the community trying to figure out or teach. Probably because nobody really understands humor. I just happened across that theory and it seems to explain quite a bit. Maybe not everything perfectly. But it helped me a ton. I would say the best way do develop some kickass humor is to watch a lot of standup and see if you can identify the 3 elements of BVT.
Where is the violation? What are they violating? (Morals, social norms, technical norms, beliefs, behaviors)
What makes it benign? Why isn't it offensive? Or if it is why is it not funny?
How do they get you to connect the two? This is usually in the "punchline."
My long-term coaching program nails humor hard. Guys develop their own stye through different training exercises. Good joke I posted it to Facebook
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
I'm especially interested to see if any of you guys have some funny reframes.
...where you would do it backwards and start with a "violation" and reframe it to be a "benign violation."
Edit: aw shit. I didn't know that Manwhore... My bad
Dude, this post is fucking excellent, I love how you've flipped this idea in the community. I think the phrase 'self amusement' is a signpost to self love that has been misinterpreted. Ie saying GENUINELY FUNNY shit that pumps you up as well as the girl. On the train home from juliens free tour and he talked about this very topic
:)) Don't get me wrong, I'm not banging on Julien or the concept of self-amusement... I'm only trying to take the idea further.
I'm definitely working on improving my humor. Obviously you're not going to be able to think up elaborate jokes spontaneously. But you can train your brain to see potentially funny situations or scenarios and be able to use your imagination to add, subtract or reframe to make it absolutely hilarious...
In high-school I worked part-time in a tire shop and one day the owner says, "I want you guys to go out, take some rags and clean all the oil and grease off the air hoses." So the other two guys went out there. I came out a few minutes later. As I step out the door, I see Mike holding one end of the hose with both hands between his thighs, while Jeremy was furiously pulling rags down at the other end. Mike looks up at me and grins... Jeremy had no clue what he was doing.
That was a great example of a reframe. All it took was Mike's grin to pull it together.
One thing I have the guys do is reimagine embarrassing stories from their life as them actually being the hero. So that time they shit their pants in third grade, becomes that time they decided to start the "Graffiti for Jesus" movement. It's a great way to force them to "see" humor in their own lives, as well as being very therapeutic
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male