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I am going through the most painful experience in my life so far - how can I get through this

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Maverick92's picture
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Joined: 02/07/2015

Sup Lads, 

I am experiencing the lowest point in my life thus far.

Basically, for being relatively negligent and making a poor choice in that moment I now have a criminal record, which I am appealing to get removed again in court. It was not theft, rape or murder, but on paper it still violates some part of the law. I am in the middle of college final exams and I worked my ass off the past months for coaching (from MW), moving out and some other stuff I was aiming for, now that is all gone down the drain. As it has all gone towards lawyer fees and fines. My time is half trying to study (which is painful on its own) and continuous calls and scheduling with lawyers. It is basically hell because of the mental energy that is being suctioned out of my brain day by day. The thought of a record being tarnished ruins a lot of opportunities like travel (to canada etc), work overseas, business etc. 

What is concerning is the hit to my confidence if the verdict is not as preferred, the fact that it restricts my persona, my charisma, my game and confidence with women etc. I do not want to identify with all the fuck ups in my life, but this just adds to the misery. 

Reason for this post is how can I re-frame, how can I get back on top. How do I find inspiration and good vibes when life is rock bottom. As a young person this is the most difficult time I have gone through as an individual. I am trying to rationalize that it will make me a stronger person, but at this present moment its hell and because the odds are against me, I am trying to think positive but it does not last long. The loneliness rubs salt in the wound. 

I need to forget about game and cold approach at the moment and get my mind right, start having a loving relationship with myself. What can I do in terms of reading, mindsets, re-framing from a males perspective ?

Cheers. 

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Joined: 02/09/2015
Dude check out the Landmark

Dude check out the Landmark Forum, I think it will make a huge difference.

It's all the meaning you're giving it, you're living inside of and experiencing it as if it's real. Basically you're running around operating inside of lots of cognitive blindspots and because you can't see them you can't do anything about them. The Forum's really good for distinguishing the blindspots which allows you to take responsibility for all the crap you've been creating and then allows you to create something new.

I'm friends with someone who when she took the forum she was homeless, addicted to drugs and had her son taken away from her and now she's the CEO of a multi-million dollar company. And it was all because she was able to see all the disempowering crap she had been creating and let it go and start fresh. I've done it myself, feel free to PM me if you want to ask me any questions.

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Joined: 10/15/2012
It's going to take time.

It's going to take time. Still carry on with girls and studies. New opportunities will come to light and you'll realize it's not that bad.

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Big Cat

Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
Consider how things could be

Consider how things could be worse, at least you didn't suffer from a life threatening injury. Be grateful and things might not seem too bad.

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Joined: 01/18/2012
What is your experience with

What is your experience with mindfulness and presence? 

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

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Joined: 01/18/2012
Closing I'm familiar with

Closing I'm familiar with Landmark, but I consider the work I do to have strong parallels, in fact I work very heavily on "self-esteem" concurrently with running game. It's just that in the training process I have to focus on skill sets, and taking ACTION, which many times has shit to do with esteem. haha. But I do want to be able to fill in that gap for guys 

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

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Joined: 01/31/2012
OP without outing the crime

OP without outing the crime do you face the possibility of time? If it's a DUI or possession I wouldn't stress as much. Not to down play them, but I know a SHIT ton of people who have gone off to have successful careers in spite of having these blemishes in their record. ( I.E. Lawyer, banker, consultants ). You're young, people make mistakes. Honestly get a good cry in. Go do the things you love and spend time with the people who you are closest with. I'm trying to put this in perspective so you don't kill yourself for making a mistake. Recognize the set back for what it is, what implications the setback will have, and how you can overcome the obstacle. 

But you need to pull your head out of your ass because life isn't going to stop moving just because you made a mistake. 

And honestly man, forgive yourself. Like seriously, it's ok dude. 

Sorry in advance if this comes off as harsh, but on first impression I think you can overcome this and want you to. 

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Joined: 01/18/2012
Good stuff. ^

Good stuff. ^

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

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Joined: 09/18/2014
Aequitas wrote: Sorry in

Aequitas wrote:

Sorry in advance if this comes off as harsh, but on first impression I think you can overcome this and want you to. 

pretty much the opposite actually

Maverick92's picture
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Joined: 02/07/2015
Its still tough - but getting through

It has not been easy, still not easy. I am getting through, the power of now is helping a lot. But day game/night game has completely dropped off. 

I am going through waves. One moment I will be accepting of the situation, but then I will think of the set backs in regards to finances, time, self esteem - it gets brutal. 

More meditation, weightlifting and mindfulness is helping, but i do get dragged back. 

Any tips about game ? I have had to move back in with family for obvious reasons. 

But has anyone been in a position where they have had to cut off day/night game in their lives for a little while for stability or any other related reason ?

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Joined: 01/18/2012
I've never been afforded the

I've never been afforded the luxury of being able to move back in with family. Plus I'm not a pussy, so no I cannot speak to this

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

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Joined: 02/27/2012
Meditation and mindfulness.

Meditation and mindfulness.  But above this, it's about controlling what you think about.  It really is simply a case of not allowing in the thoughts that make you feel bad.  Anyone can have this kind of control over their thinking.  We're all born with it, we just lose that control over what thoughts we allow into our minds because of society and 'other people'.
 
Practice bringing in No Mind as much as you can remember in your day.  Just choose to stop thinking for a bit, and be present.  "Am I present now?"
 
When you can stop thoughts on demand, all you really have to do is notice when you're thinking those negative thoughts.  They hold no value to you, so just don't think about them.  Don't give them any airtime.  "Does this thought make me feel good or bad?  If bad, then why keep it?"
 
"The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain."
 
Stop thinking about the things that make you feel bad or the things you don't want in your life.  Only focus on the things you desire to have happen or make you feel good.  We become what we think about.
 
This coming from someone with multiple felonies based off some stupid mistakes as a young person.  My past has no control over my present or my future.  I create my own reality.  I've still been able to accomplish and create more in my life than most people could in multiple lifetimes.  Wealth, abundance, health, love, happiness.  I don't let anything stand in my way.
 
"That's my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck's back. If it's not positive, I didn't hear it. If you can overcome that, fights are easy." ~George Foreman
 

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Joined: 01/31/2012
There's no quick fix buddy.

There's no quick fix buddy. You simply have to face reality, accept it and all its implications, and then take massive action. Game shouldn't even be a priority for you at this point, you have more important shit to worry about. 

If you haven't noticed by now life comes in waves. You have your good times, and your bad times. It's being able to take control of your emotions and take action in spite of your emotions that allows you to smoothen out the rollercoaster so your lows are much less lower.

Furthermore, if the worst you have to worry about is moving back in with your parents then these really are simply just 1st world problems. 

TL; DR: Sack up.