I ran into an old tinder friend on Valentine's Day

Loool. You're not the only the side chick celebrating Valentine's Day this year ;)

Dayuum, I didn't get laid. It was a weird situation, maybe someone here has a better idea of what was going down.

She came over and I immediately noticed she was not as sexual with me as I remembered. We haven't kicked it in like 8 months, haven't had sex in like a year. She brought me some candy so I ate it and was like "yooo wanna try the chocolate" and went to smooch her and she turned away. Eventually, I asked her how her boyfriend was doing. She actually IS still with him, but she was obviously unhappy about it. She complains about his instragram having a bunch of girls and not her, how they've been together for 7 months yet there is no intimacy, and finally how he banged some girl when they broke up for a few days. I made remark about getting him back, and she was like "woahh calm down there." I was not trying to be a douche but it was very clear he doesn't give a fuck about her and she went out of her way to hang with me. I looked at his instagram he's a black dude on a college soccer team, looks like he's got some ghetto type game going on. We chatted for a little bit, then I described to her how last time she sucked my dick she used too much teeth and then went into detail about how I came all over her face lol. Not much sexual uprising from her.

I think I fucked up for even bringing up her boyfriend in the first place, which gave her logical grounds not to do anything sexual. I should have esclatated verbally like I tried to at the end without questioning the boyfriend thing. Who knows maybe she just wanted to be buds with me seems like she is going through some tough times, she is texting me again today but it's all casual funny stuff.

A while ago this girl I had hung out with before but never done anything sexual with texted me and came over to my place around 10-11 PM at night.

When we first met she had a boyfriend who was not treating her well and I was funny and sexually flirtatious which she liked, but it stopped at flirting.

So that night she came directly to my place with a bottle of vodka and a story about how this guy she lived with and her got into a fight (both verbal and I think physical if I recal).

Now, during this she's already declared she is broken up with him, and she'd like to stay over at my place etc. but when I first go to kiss her she puts up resistence.

"I didn't come over here for that."

Then she said she just came ot chill and talk and either her or I added "and whatever happens, happens." taking the pressure off (maybe she said it and I agreed with it, maybe I did).

I could read the subtext (she showed up at my house late at night with a bottle looking to drink, commiserate about her asshole bf and sleep over, OF COURSE we're going to fuck if I play my cards right!) so I didn't need to make things overt.

By not putting too much pressure on her and just letting things happen, with some casual and gradual escaltion wich two steps forward one step back (Manwhore has an article on this that made me think of this go/stop escalation, might be the one on LMR), and mixing it with normal comfort and vibing, we eventually hooked up, probably around 1-2 AM or so.

So in this case you could have just vibed with her, talked about how some guys create false expectations, how they want to have their fun but don't want the girl to have hers (double standard), all from the position of you are her trusted friend and advisor who is evaluating the situation in a DISINTERESTED manner. And, you RELUCTANTLY conclude that because of his actions, and because she is unhappy, it would only be right for her to go and have some fun of her own. Then, from your reluctant conclusion that she should hook up with someone else, if she wants, giving her permission, and your vibing and smooth and gradual sexual escalation creating the emotional stimulation to actually get her to act, sex between the two of you would "just happen".

Instead, what you did wrong was A) Assume it was totally on from the start and basically expected to pick up where you left off by going for the kiss, B) Not pace her reality to match the perspective you wanted i.e. to view hooking up with you as acceptable and good and to be emotionally motivated to do it. C) Made the mistake that talk like "remember that time you blew me, that was dope" or "how about that time we fucked, fun right?" would someone get her to agree with you logically, like it was something obviously great and you were talking with someone who had already 100% made up their mind they wanted to do it, and that by doing so she would just jump on your dick. "Hey Meow, want to grab some pizza? Cool lets do it." "Hey Meow, want to take a shot? Cool, here I'll pour it."

And, that "Bust on her face" story would only be funny and effective if you played up a parody of a charming gentleman in an absurb manner:

"Since that day I busted on your face I've always felt I did you a service m'lady. Twould only be right for me to have you suck my mighty rod of love and for me to deposit my love potion deep within your throat or on your body part of choosing. If only to restore your faith in the goodness of mankind so that you know when you give a gentlman like a blow job, you know how it's going to end."

She will keep texting you (today and probably going foward) because you have/had a window of oportunity to escalate with her (and she has at least a "One free sport fuck" ticket in her current relationship if not a desire to get a sidepiece fuckbuddy or to exit her current relationship with a guy she already knows she likes and enjoys fucking), and she's holding that window open for you. Good luck!

You asked her about her boyfriend? I'm surprised you got into college

Good points MervyPervy, thanks for reading brotha!

Yeah somebody send the firing squad over.

Yes, 10 years ago it've been the discussion. ;) 

So my method is akin to playing her personal psychologist / best friend for a while till you resolve the underlying issues (hence "asking about her boyfriend") and "persuade" into sex with you. It's taken straight from rhetoric.

Part of rhetoric is "pathos" or emotion, and that's why the ending part of that involves turning her on, after you've established "ethos" (your character / you're interested in her well being not getting your dick wet) and "logos" (if he cheated then she gets to cheat too / were they ever really in a relationship if that's how he acts?).

It works because of the context as well as your escalation skills, you and her are alone in your house so you can guide her through and then at the end when she is ready to be turned on (context), and once she is ready you pull the trigger (skills). Talking to her about it over the phone where you can't capitalize on her new belief that she can actually fuck another guy, or not being able to smoothly escalate are the AFC mistakes (if she texted you about her relationship problems, offer to talk to her in person as opposed to texting/phone for instance).

That's what differentiates it from the normal chode afc method of trying to talk to her about her problems/boyfriend once they seem to be on the rocks (look at any hot girl who is new single on social media, see all the thirsty guys offering to "talk about it" etc.). And, by the way, many betas do get laid with this method, although not reliably (and the betas likely have to become the new boyfriend to do it. Ever wondered how "Serial monogomous" girls go from relationship to relationship, this is part of it.).

However MW is likely doing this in a more efficient manner without having to dive deep into her issues, and maintaining the lover frame throughout so he can be the sidepiece or add her to the rotation etc.

I'm excited to learn more about the particulars of how he does it.

For one he might not "ask about her boyfriend" and just proceed "as if" she was single, having fun and escalating etc. untill she makes it a hard objection. Hence why you might hear of players fucking a girl and then after she tells them she has a bf, it never came up lol

Ok, no more boyfriend talk in these situations EVER again. I guess I was sort of impatient and curious because she was sexually standoffish and she used to suck my cock, but asking was GAY.

I would say sub-optimal. And you might have to if she's insistent to beat ASD/LMR.

Yes.

Yes, if it got to the bf talkk I like what you had to say Merv.

Asking about her bf was your bitch ego needing to know to quell its quivering hurt feelings. If she had a boyfriend you could feel better about her having "rejected" you. Not gay. Weak. 

Haha, I agree with this in principle as well if it's not done as a conscious tactic.

It's like the common misunderstanding about a "Fruedian Slip".

For example: You're talking to hot girl and you say something outrageously sexual "accidentaly". The common interpretation is the sexual word or phrase sounds like what you were going to say and you were thinking of sex so it "slppied" out.

But the more insignful analysis, and what MW is refering to is that by saying the sexual thing "accidentaly" you take the pressure off yourself to "perform" and thus dispell the anxiety ("Is this really happening? Do I have this hot girl here with me right now? Might I actually get laid with her?... OMG!!!... um.... (out loud) VAGINA!!!... ok, now it's definately not going to happen, good, at least I got the reference experience (begin rationalization) etc.")

Yes clearly the emotional rhythms at play need to be understood. I was simply remarking on the fact your emotional logic and leadership tactics were considered brazen! and new! about a decade ago. Lol

You understand the concept of "force multipliers"? 

Oh yes Meow goes way back this is an old problem. 

I was thinking you meant that was your game a decade ago. But yes, I can agree that while the tactics I describe work (in fact I used them almost a decade ago to great effect), there are newer tactics that are more effective and efficient.

That's why I'm here, to learn cutting edge concepts from a current leader in the field.

Generally yes. But not specifically with regards to this situation. Care to elaborate?

Yeah that's true. I was frustrated because I thought this was a sure thing and felt inadequate.

Merv just to clarify this was to Meow not you. And in fact upon more closely reading your original response I'd say you were decently spot on. There's a lot more that could be going on in your favor but generally that's a viable strategy for sure. Just let them talk their way onto your dick essentially. It's a hot little show to witness when a girl's in that mode. ;) 

Oh yeah, I know dude. I didn't think you meant I was doing that. I was just giving him another perspective, in this case specifically how it would look from a Fruedian analysis.

You can come out psychology from a number of schools of thought, western in general, CBT, Tolle, Buddhism, Stoicism etc. I was agreeing with your point and just putting it another way.

Thanks you. And yes, it's quite the spectacle. lol.

Which just to take things full circle, that girl that Meow gave me text help with last week just came over and after some general sex talk, she mentioned that the first time having sex the guy cums fast because his "penis is getting used to her vagina' hahaha. Of course my response was something like "Best to get it out the way then. You know, just to get used to it." haha.

The rest is history.

Nice! Bump the thread with the update please. 

Done:

http://manwhore.org/forum/content/mall-daygame-215