Inner contradiction between being non-needy prize and having desire to approach new girls.

So, I learned about pickup 7 years ago when I still was 16 years old schoolboy. And while I learned a lot about being more attractive and girls start to like me and chase me, I still have major problem - motivation. I almost never approach new girls and adding 1-3 new girls in my rotation per year is enough to satisfy my ego, but I still far from being really satisfied with my sex life and I know what I could get much better results if I start to daygame actively.

But my problem is what after learning a lot about so called "inner game" I really become non-needy and start to consider myself a prize - I don't really feel a need in women (unless they prove they are worthy with actions), you could say what even though I have sexual desire and attraction, but become rather apathic emotionally. I don't want to become MGTOW, but still when I see a woman at street I don't have real urge to approach - even though I don't feel any bit of anxiety, my heartbit doesn't change or anything like this. I tried so called "approach anxiety drills", but I don't feel motivated to do even them. I have inner contradiction - rationally I understand what having more women would be good for me and I would enjoy interacting with them and estabilishing sexual relationships where I'm in charge, etc. But I don't have this "drive" what make guys to approach bunch of women even when they tremble from anxiety. Back in the days when I have had it women were put off by my neediness and inexperience, but now when I'm relaxed, non-needy and attractive I just don't have it in me to approach often enough to get real significant results.

And I don't really want to "force myself" to do approaches through willpower. What I want is to find some sort of mindset or insight what could take me to the point where there is no contradiction between "being fine without women and having standards where she should chase me" and "having real desire and drive to initiative contact with new women".

Did any of you guys have similar experience?