Interview Game - My Experiences
Alright!
So although I’ve never posted here before, Manwhore asked me to do a write up for you guys regarding my experiences with interviews, and where most guys fall short and have issues successfully “presenting” themselves in such instances.
Quick background: I started my coaching with MW in late 2013, and have kept in touch with him since. My experience within the domain of interviews is direct in nature: I graduated in early 2013 (May) and worked an unpaid internship for several months while applying to jobs and having multiple interviews. Within a span of 10 months or so, I must’ve had anywhere from 15-25 interviews (which may not seem like a ton, however, I am only a university graduate with my industry-specific jobs being very competitive by nature). Within the last couple of weeks, I successfully landed a gig within the Operations group of a top-10 global Investment Bank.
What made this issue so intense for me was the fact that the majority of my graduating class had successfully landed a job prior to graduating, with the VAST majority having found jobs within 3 months of graduating (something like 90% or so). I just RECENTLY found my job (March/14), and worked an unpaid internship from September/13 to just recently. It bothered the SHIT out of me, and for the life of me I could not understand why I couldn’t find anything – I eventually chalked it up to simple bad luck, which usually is NOT the case ;). I do want stress the point being that I went NEARLY AN ENTIRE YEAR without having found a good job, and so that I can sympathize and understand where some of you may be coming from. Feel free to PM me if you’d like to discuss your specific issue(s), as I consider myself to have a pretty solid idea of how things work in this regard.
SO. The primary issue I personally encountered (specific to ME) is that I had a very difficult time understanding even WHY I wouldn’t typically get 2nd/3rd round interviews (let alone an offer!), until I talked to MW about it. Very simply, due to my upbringing and circumstances growing up, I have developed a very “fierce” or “intense” type of personality, and I would bring that with me in interviews. I came off (in retrospect) very aggressive, very CONFIDENT, and pretty fucking alpha. I would be looking at these guys as if I were about to freaking EAT them (which I didn’t realize until I talked to MW). Stated otherwise, having that “seasoned” personality from the events which have shaped my life can easily be communicated and perceived as INTIMIDATING. It’s an intensity which can really make most people unsettled or put off, simply because it’s unique and borderline-threatening.
Now, you might be thinking to yourself “Well, isn’t that a GOOD thing?!” Well – yes and no. Yes, it is very much so in the sense that when you ARE in a professional environment working on high profile deals, it can be very beneficial for dealing with clients, etc. But, in my opinion, that’s when you are ALREADY in the business and in a very senior position where that HELPS – when LEADERSHIP is your primary tool, and not an analytical ability to crunch the shit out of numbers and be a team player (as is the case in I-Banking).
Where it really tends to fuck guys up, is that depending on the specific situation, it can really shape your perception in such a way that it has a highly negative effect - DESPITE the fact you may very well have good intentions AND be a very strong fit with the position/company. You come across as some arrogant know-it-all.
Think of it this way: imagine YOU are interviewing someone for a position that is below yours, and some borderline Leonardo DiCaprio/Wolf of Wall Street type character is sitting across from you. First of all, it can be VERY unsettling/intimidating for the interviewer to even speak with you. I’ve WATCHED interviewers reacting to me and could SEE their uncomfortability, just because I am who I am and was presenting myself as such. I wasn’t trying to give off a “strong, intense” vibe – I just did, unconsciously. If I had to describe my own vibe beforehand, it would be something along the lines of: I can do a BETTER JOB than you can, I am SMART, CAPABLE, and will likely surpass YOUR level within the next 2-3 years of me working here. Needless to say: NOT GOOD.
They don’t want someone who is unapproachable/intimidating to work in their environment for a number of reasons. It shows you can be difficult to work with, you can be stubborn/self-righteous and not willing to admit your wrong/ask for help when needed, etc. The fact is, they want someone who can FIT IN, GET ALONG with others, and be EASILY integrated into the already existing team; not someone who will shake shit up (even if you only APPEAR that way – such as myself).
Where I really found great improvement and what ultimately landed me a job was by TONING DOWN my “seasoning” (AKA my natural way of being, which just happens to be intense), and by OVER COMPENSATING for this by being MORE PERSONABLE.
MW really helped me figure this issue out. One of the ways he kind of got at this was by looking at my experience of interviews in the past, compounded with more and more time having gone by. It ultimately created a scenario where I had a solid answer to basically any interview question and didn’t flinch much (if at all) while still being that same intense/fierce type of person, and over time, I pretty much subcommunicated BOREDOM and DISINTEREST in the interview. What I mean by this, is that I would be in interviews almost like a robot – I would show up, rock every question (albeit in an often mechanical way – which got worse as more time elapsed), meanwhile maintaining that INTENSITY as a person.
On top of the above, through talking with MW, he helped ME to see that I was literally carrying around my “bag” of “negative” interview experiences, which was a large contributor to my issue of being like a cold-blooded killer in those interviews. I thought if I could turn on the intensity and show the interviewer how “badass” I can be how much I can maintain my cool, that that would somehow lead to them loving me and wanting to hire me. All it did was really put them off, and make them feel uneasy as I mentioned above.
Moving on, being in a pick-up related forum, it might be natural for a lot of guys to be like “well, aren’t I being FAKE?! Isn’t that supplication?” Well, again – yes and no. The short version of a complicated answer is that, yes, you are indeed shaping your self-presentation in order to come across a certain way, but most likely to a small degree which yields HUGE results. If you are having to put on a “shtick” to the point where it seems MANIACAL like you are some split-personality psychopath, well, then maybe there are some larger issues you need to address first.
The way I “overcompensated” for my more intense personality is:
· I SMILED. I would smile as soon as the interviewer came into the room, stood up and shook their hand in a very friendly (not death grip) manner, and maintain a friendly, slight smile for the duration of the interviewer. I didn’t look as though I was negotiating with them being lined up to be executed in a few short moments.
· I would laugh and keep a light friendly vibe with them – again – I wouldn’t turn the social atmosphere into a feeling of “grave danger” – it was very light, “fun,” and easy going.
· I would turn up my “bubbliness” – I almost want to say I showed more of my feminine, “soft” side to them – obviously this is only to a degree, and considering I am naturally on the more aggressive/hardcore male side, I HAD to do this to become almost “normal” in their eyes.
To me it all felt kind of weird – and it was because I wasn’t used to being this way. But the proof is in the pudding – I got hired at an extremely reputable company. To me it felt odd – but I am very confident that in the interviewers’ eyes, I came across as a very friendly, capable candidate. I noticed that female interviewers would respond significantly better to me when I was just myself, but with male interviewers, I could almost see them squirming. No surprises there.
Although I mention the above points that I changed about myself in interviews, at the same time, I WAS MYSELF. I was just a more positive, friendly, personable and KIND version of myself. The “changes” I made were very superficial, but made a world of difference.
Something that should be noted is that for a person my age - my education, ongoing education and experience was quite damn good – however, that wasn’t enough. It was obvious that something wasn’t clicking after so much time had passed. I cannot stress enough that in addition to the above (this post) – that you OBVIOUSLY should too be qualified for the positions you are applying to, and actually know wtf it is that you are talking about. You could have the greatest personality in the world, but if you DON’T know your shit, it is VERY unlikely you will get hired.
You can compensate for a specific personality/way of being, however, you cannot compensate for being unqualified.
A final (and somewhat unrelated) piece of advice I’d love to give you guys that I wish I had a better grasp of at the time is something that can be tied in DIRECTLY with game: at the end of the day – YOU CANNOT GET EVERY JOB. Not every interview will go well, not every position will you be a strong fit for, etc. But you have to APPLY yourself, both in applications and interviewers. JUST. KEEP. GOING.
You CANNOT manipulate the shit out of these things – all you can do is apply to the job, show up to the interview, do your best with it, and then FORGET ABOUT IT. Continue applying as if you never even WENT to that interview – because just like with girls, you can get extremely hung up on a particular job which only serves to FUCK you in the long run (and NOT in a good way ;). JUST CAST OUT THAT NET OF OPPORTUNITY – do not be concerned with anything else. Only focus on what is in your control.
There was one job in particular for me that was kind of a milestone in my personal development. Both in person and on paper, I was a PERFECT fit for the company and position. I had ALL the requirements, experience, and the interview lasted 1-1.5 hours long. It couldn’t have gotten any better in my mind. I thought that was it – I am definitely getting that gig. I thought and thought about it, waiting to hear back, already imagining how awesome it was going to be. I got the call, and they told me they were giving it to an internal candidate. I was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED. Fucking CRUSHED. After that, I would NEVER again worry about any particular job, because it was obvious that I could NEVER 100% understand why/why not I would/wouldn’t get a job.
EVEN THOUGH I DID EVERYTHING “RIGHT” and it seemed PERFECT – I didn’t get it. This exact same shit can happen in GAME as well. You do everything right, everything seems perfect, and then WHAM – that shit blows up in your face and you cannot understand why.
With the job I DID get, don’t get wrong me – I thought the interview went well, and I made changes from my previous ones – but they didn’t act particularly amazed. I didn’t get CLOSE to the same vibe that I did from the one I thought went perfect – but they chose ME to do it. Again – similar to pick-up – there are many instances where there aren’t fireworks and explosions going on (figuratively) where things don’t seem that extraordinary, yet shit still pops off in your favor! You just NEVER KNOW with certainty what can/will happen, so don’t try to.
The point is – set yourself up best for success, apply like a motherfucker and make sure you are PERSONABLE in interviews – and then forget about it. Wash rinse repeat, until that one day you get the phone call you’ve been waiting for. Just because YOU THINK that you are successfully interviewing, much like I did, doesn’t necessarily mean you are doing so. Take the time to talk to someone who knows wtf they are talking about with regard to your interviewing skills/experiences, and BE AWARE of how you are emotionally affecting those you are interviewing with.
PLEASE feel free to ask me any questions on the topic, I would be more than happy to assist you guys.
Peace.
Thank you so much for this man. This is EXTREMELY HELPFUL and EYE OPENING.
I have interviews with six different comapnies this week within my major. It's just so funny because I've done mock interviews and I could see myself coming across the same way. I have good work experience, awesome leadership experience (freaternity president, volunteer work, etc.) so often times I come across as a very in your face, straight to business kind of guy. I can come off very intense, like you said. I'm really glad I read this before going into those interviews. I will be much more laid back and personable now and take the more aggressive side (my natural state) into the business if I actually get the job.
I'm pretty sure every person interviewing me is a girl too ;)
Thanks for this.
Any tips on your actual structure to answer a question? For example, "Tell me one instance where you had to use leadership skills to get yourself out of a diffcult situation?" Or any other such situational question...
I actually misdiagnosed, uhh.. Envee (lol) at first completely. And then I'm sitting there listening to him and all of a sudden I knew exactly what the problem was. It was more a matter of explaining to him the issue, not necessarily even having to drill on it. This is one of those areas where mediocrity and the sheeple mentality really hurts society. Then again.. maybe it does its job in pushing the true bad asses out in the cold where they do the most damage
I actually misdiagnosed, uhh.. Envee (lol) at first completely. And then I'm sitting there listening to him and all of a sudden I knew exactly what the problem was. It was more a matter of explaining to him the issue, not necessarily even having to drill on it. This is one of those areas where mediocrity and the sheeple mentality really hurts society. Then again.. maybe it does its job in pushing the true bad asses out in the cold where they do the most damage
Lol I see where you're coming from too.
How long are you planning on staying in Vegas btw? I would love to come kcik it with you and Archangel but I know people come and go like nomads out there. I wouldn't be living over there for another 2-3 years and a lot of crazy shit can happen from now until then.
Oh yeah bro I always pass out free bootcamps.
Oh damn, this looks awesome- I have a lot of thoughts on this subject as well. Gotta ready this all first. Damn, that's a hefty post lol
Oh yeah bro I always pass out free bootcamps.
LOL
Thanks for writing that out man
Oh damn, this looks awesome- I have a lot of thoughts on this subject as well. Gotta ready this all first. Damn, that's a hefty post lol
Dude, I'm gonna be honest. I legitimately had no clue you were Buddhagames until last night on the call. Pretty sure I had you mixed up with DistantLight from RSD or something.
It was cool hearing you since i know you've had so much success and this forum has been a large factor. Oh, and also "take a dump" game was legit lol
Oh nice man- yeah, next time I'll stay longer. I was really looking forward to hearing more stories from you guys..
But yeah - I wanted to find an extreme example to illustrate a point. That is very much not the norm. But yes, it happened, and yes, I washed my hands afterwards.
What's funny about that story that I didn't mention, was that after we fucked she mentioned that her husband is an nfl player, treats her like shit, and fucks around on her all the time. She was on a mission...
Well he probably plays for the shitty ass Jets and deserves to get cheated on too
First Interview - Went extremely well. The guy was very personable and we had a good conversation going the entire time. He asked a lot of situational questions which I handled perfectly. Made sure to smile and just let my words flow from a good place. The guy seemed very interested in offering me an internship position so that's pretty sweet. This company is in my top 3 to work for right now.
Second Interview - Meh. There was two interviewers which kind of threw me off my game. I had to juggle eye contact and they were looking for someone with more experience than myself. Regardless, I did the best I could and made a lot of valid points that they ended up agreeing with overall. They were both very boring however, which was strange. This is a huge multibillion dollar company. Not sure why they are sending two bland people with boring personalities if they want to hire top talent lol.
Third Interview - This is the one that went stellar and alos happens to be my first choice. This guy was a total badass and we hit it off right away. He definitely sold me on the position (sales, go figure) and talked a huge game. I knew some people from college that work under him now, which worked in my favor as well. He told me some crazy shit like how they throw a kegger on Fridays and last Friday they went to Top Golf. Very social, yet competitive environment which I feel like I can thrive in. He told me I would be getting a call from their primary recruiter soon and that if i don't to contact him directly. Some quotes I can remember:
Him: Why do you wanna get into sales.
Me: Honestly, a huge factor is the money for me...
Him: Wait...honestly? It would be fucking weird if that wasn't what you wanted!
Him: Yeah, I got about 6 or 7 guys under me with their own expense accounts. I don't care where you take the client as long as you close....Cowboys game, restaurant, strip club....
I asked him if he had ever heard of the million dollar mouthiece and he said no, I explained it to him and he thought it was the greatest shit ever lol.
Got 3 more interviews in the next two days. Thanks for this thread man, I'll do some quick write ups on those as well!
G-Money you should do training with me.
G-Money you should do training with me.
Yes, absolutely. I'm very active on the forums but feel like I'm one of the few guys who hasn't done coaching yet.
Can you pm me with your different programs and cost structure? I would be looking to do this in early May but we can iron out the details later.
So, being personable etc. is great and a lot of dudes have talked about that.
For interviews though - where do you all see the "Killer Instinct" coming into play?
Also - Gman - if you wanna talk sales, I'd be down. I've been doing it for almost two years now, and am pretty stellar at it .
But recently, I've really been looking to reach out to other sales people and just get an idea of what they're doing. I find that I'll get so caught up in my own method, so it really helps to chat with other guys and ask very basic questions, because as weird as it sounds- you'll often hear some really interesting and new perspectives on basic shit you thought you already totally grasped.
Anyway- lemme know if you wanna chat.
Thank you so much for this man. This is EXTREMELY HELPFUL and EYE OPENING.I have interviews with six different comapnies this week within my major. It's just so funny because I've done mock interviews and I could see myself coming across the same way. I have good work experience, awesome leadership experience (freaternity president, volunteer work, etc.) so often times I come across as a very in your face, straight to business kind of guy. I can come off very intense, like you said. I'm really glad I read this before going into those interviews. I will be much more laid back and personable now and take the more aggressive side (my natural state) into the business if I actually get the job.
I'm pretty sure every person interviewing me is a girl too ;)
Thanks for this.
Any tips on your actual structure to answer a question? For example, "Tell me one instance where you had to use leadership skills to get yourself out of a diffcult situation?" Or any other such situational question...
So long as one person gets value out of it, than I am happy. ;)
For myself personally, since I had so much experience like I mentioned, asnwering the questions was no problem at all for me, and I'd just launch into it, while maintaining the same easy going vibe. I'd usually respond with "Yeah, for sure: (launch into example) or "Yeah absolutely: (launch into example).
What I found to be important was not skipping a beat - I mean it's okay if you need literally 2-3 seconds to think of an example - but you don't want to be sitting there scratching your head, looking like your making some BS story up for them lol. Just respond postively, and dive right into it. No need for "structure".
For interviews though - where do you all see the "Killer Instinct" coming into play?
What do you mean by this?
pottedflowers wrote:
For interviews though - where do you all see the "Killer Instinct" coming into play?
What do you mean by this?
I'm talking about locking up the interview. It's all great to be personable, knowlledgable etc. But I'm curious if anyone has any thoughts about what it is that's actually going on that's going to go the furthest towards locking up the interview? Or maybe I'm way off base here, but I don't think so.
Whatcha guys think?
Envee wrote:
pottedflowers wrote:
For interviews though - where do you all see the "Killer Instinct" coming into play?
What do you mean by this?
I'm talking about locking up the interview. It's all great to be personable, knowlledgable etc. But I'm curious if anyone has any thoughts about what it is that's actually going on that's going to go the furthest towards locking up the interview? Or maybe I'm way off base here, but I don't think so.
Whatcha guys think?
Locking up the interview or the job? Kind of confused about what you're asking here.
As far as the end of the interview, I always make sure to ask one to two questions that are specific to their company. For example:
1. What would a person do to be promoted from this position?
2. What are the main pitfalls that most people experience in this position?
Then, I ask for their business card if they have not offered it already. I genuinely express interest in working for their company (if 'm actually interested) and then shake hands and thank them for their time.
I always write a follow up e-mail within the next two days thanking them again and asking what the next steps in the process are....
-------------------------
Yeah, I'll PM you. Maybe we can skype or do e-mail but I would love to pick your brain since you have much more sales experience than myself.
Yeah, I'm just not being clear, sorry about that guys. I'll break down my own thoughts, and maybe that will clarify where I'm coming from. Honestly though- I have no idea if this is legit or not haha
Basically, what I'm getting at is simply figuring out what is it, exactly, that's actually going to be the #1 reason you successfully land the job (successfully close).
As far as I see it- being personable, smiling, showing more of that "feminine" side... and then obviously being knowledgable are both things that are going to help facilitate a larger dynamic going on. And it's this larger issue at play, that is going to land you the job - personally, I think this goes for sales as well. I close deals faster than anyone at our company because of this "overarching dynamic".
What I'm referring to is simply the concept of "Implicit Leading". Being personable and knowledgable, are extremely imoprtant.... HUGELY important to landing the job- but from what I'm thinking, it's possible that those things are only imporrtant, insofar, as they allow for an appropriate "camoflauge" for the "leading"
So, yeah- I think that, in an interview, the # thing that's going to land the job is properly leading. That being said- I wanna stress the same thing OP did - this isn't some magic bullet or wtvr. If you haven't spent time maticulously studying the company, understanding the role, understanding the market etc. you're going to shit a brick, no matter what... But all else being equal - I just think that aggressive implicit leading is what will land the job.
But yeah, these thoughts are def. still being fleshed out- but hopefully that clarifies where I'm coming from. Maybe not, but hopefully heh ; )
Yeah, another thing to consider is first impressions. Just like pick up and sales, some people are just NOT GOING TO LIKE YOU.
It's shitty but if you just don't "rub them" the right way, you're done because they make the hiring decision. The important thing is being as prepared as possible and interview with as many companies as possible to widen your net, so to speak.
4/5 of my interviews went great so far. I have two second interviews lined up and I'm following up hard on the other ones.
Yeah, another thing to consider is first impressions. Just like pick up and sales, some people are just NOT GOING TO LIKE YOU.It's shitty but if you just don't "rub them" the right way, you're done because they make the hiring decision. The important thing is being as prepared as possible and interview with as many companies as possible to widen your net, so to speak.
4/5 of my interviews went great so far. I have two second interviews lined up and I'm following up hard on the other ones.
Are you screening pretty hard for the shit you want in a job? I'll admit- that's one thing I didn't do when I was looking, that if I re-did the process, I would be much more diligent about.
G-Money wrote:
Yeah, another thing to consider is first impressions. Just like pick up and sales, some people are just NOT GOING TO LIKE YOU.It's shitty but if you just don't "rub them" the right way, you're done because they make the hiring decision. The important thing is being as prepared as possible and interview with as many companies as possible to widen your net, so to speak.
4/5 of my interviews went great so far. I have two second interviews lined up and I'm following up hard on the other ones.
Are you screening pretty hard for the shit you want in a job? I'll admit- that's one thing I didn't do when I was looking, that if I re-did the process, I would be much more diligent about.
Definitely. I tell them almost immediately that I'm interested in the sales/brokerage side of the industry and why I'm a good fit for their company.
It's honestly gotten extremely positive responses because it shows determination and it's very "defined".
I'm sure they get kids who come in all the time and are extremely vague..."Oh well, I'm just a great team player and I'm very vocal and integrity is huge for me." LOL ok bro. So I guess it's refreshing when I cut straight to the chase and let them know how they can help me and I can benefit them. My industry is also filled with lots of socially awkward folks and foreign people, so from the get go, doing all the things we discussed here (personable, smile, be articulate, etc.) I'm already way out in front of the pack.
As far as screening super, super hard? Not yet. I'm gonna wait for second interviews before negotiating things like salaries, commissions, company cars, expense accounts, etc. The latter will probably come in the future but I am pretty strict about what I think I am worth and can provide for companies.
I did "ask for the job" once. For a very unique sales position at a manufacturing company in San Diego. I could tell there was something he wanted more at the end of the first interview, so I told him I had a couple other interviews but he would hear from me within two days. I called them up told them I'd like to come in real quick they agreed, I walked in and asked for the position and he said yes. Lol
I did "ask for the job" once. For a very unique sales position at a manufacturing company in San Diego. I could tell there was something he wanted more at the end of the first interview, so I told him I had a couple other interviews but he would hear from me within two days. I called them up told them I'd like to come in real quick they agreed, I walked in and asked for the position and he said yes. Lol
I would fucking PRAY for someone to do that to me. Solid as fuck
Similar type story, but maybe not quite as cool: One of my best friends (all of this happened before I knew who the fuck he was- we became friends after he got the job) straight up cold-approached our entire office... just came in off the street with cupcakes, walked up to the founder of the company and asked for an interview. Needless to say he got the job. Oh, and the cupcakes were bomb as fuck too..
I'm gonna try and get this guy on the forum, would be nice to hear his side to that whole story
Process took forever but I got offered the sales internship today ;)
thanks all!
Sweet! Paid?
Sweet! Paid?
yea $12 an hour. Off to the bars now
damn, this is all real interesting. I really do love my job, and putting together skyscrapers is a lot of fun, presumably a lot like the military, tons of politics, and then its fun swinging a hammer with a bunch of dudes, sneaking away to chug a beer in the sun. Earning potential is there but only after 5-10 years of experience. Till then you are limited in how high you can fly just from a basic lack of experience. I know I could do well in a sales position but the office enviroment is somewhat foriegn to me.. but at the end of the day, its the same shit just the uniforms are different; The earning potential is a lot higher off the bat and it seems the only limit is flying too close to the sun lol. It would be nice to have more flexibility and more options in my career path. Also it seems the actual hard work in an office allows you to get places where as the grunts do all the hard stuff in construction. That helps when your working so hard your crying and wondering why the fuck you are doing this haha.
oh and congrats g-mullah
Yeah but I'm actually going to start heading out with my buddy to construction jobs I love that shit. Plus if you learn the ins and outs of construction/house repair you can start flipping houses and/or renting them out for passive income.
Can confirm its fun as fuck. I just finished building a huge hi rise that is the first in the city. Going to be the new downtown in a decade or two.
I was thinking of leaving and going down an IM/sales path but I dont really want to work at a firm and that would kind of fuck my me learning in a workplace enviroment and my limit my close dealings to "regular" people outside my family and friends. which wouldnt be a bad thing either... just not yet
gawddamn it double post thats two today
:/
))<>((
Bump for Ghettodoodoo