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It's 1933 & you are Führer, war in 1939 is inevitable, what changes in diplomacy & military strategy could cause Germany to win?

1 reply [Last post]
Joined: 01/18/2012

LOL! F'd up but a solid read...

  1. Begin wooing the United States. Talk up the evils of Soviet Communism, and how we really should do something about them. Pressure Nazi-sympathizers in the US to continue trading oil and other raw materials with you.
  2. Invade Poland and the Balkans. Norway too. Immediately start ramping up oil production in Romania and Norway. However, treat the locals well; instill a fear of the evil Soviets, and play up the area’s antisemitism.
  3. Sign the non-agression pact with Stalin.
  4. Don’t begin killing the Jews. Round them up, but use them for slave labor. Keep Jewish scientists on the payroll.
  5. Invade France, exactly like what actually happened.
  6. During the Battle of Britain continue to only focus on military targets. Make it very clear no invasion of Britain is forthcoming. Keep diplomatic channels open with the British government, seeking peace. Request American help with the peace accords. Eventually, the British will hopefully remember how much they hate the French, wonder why they’re dying for the French, and seek a peace accord.
  7. KEEP JAPAN ON A LEASH. Do NOT allow them to attack Pearl Harbor.

    1. If they do, immediately cut ties with them and denounce the attack. That should make the Americans love you even more.
    2. If they don’t, apply pressure on the US to continue trading oil and raw materials with Japan. If they won’t, invest in Soviet trans-continental transport to allow them to fill in the gap.

  8. Consolidate your power over your new territories. Help Franco consolidate his power in Spain, and send German officers to train Spanish troops. Same for Italy and the Balkans.
  9. Invest in long range bombers, not useless V weapons.
  10. By 1945, the Third Reich is much more stable. Stalin has had a few more years to wreck the Soviet military, and is six years closer to death anyway. Hopefully, the war with Britain is over, and a healthy relationship exists with the US. NOW it’s time for the Soviet war.
  11. Remind the Americans about those dirty, no good Soviets.
  12. Wouldn’t it be nice if we ended them for good?

    1. If America is willing to send troops to help in the war, this answer is done. The Soviets don’t stand a snowballs chance in hell.
    2. If America isn’t willing to send troops, but IS willing to help economically, begin building up your forces. Enlist US manufacturing to build German tanks. With the industrial might of the US behind you, you can bury the Soviets in as many Tigers as you could ever dream of. Pay for it all with it huge, almost zero-interest loans from Nazi-Sympathetic US banks.
    3. If America isn’t willing to help at all, repeat step 11.

  13. Continuing from 12b: Launch the invasion of the Soviet Union. With the battle against Britain over, the millions of troops who were fighting in North Africa, Italy, and France can be sent to the Eastern front. At the same time, German trained and led Italian, Spanish, French, Polish, Romanian, Bulgarian, and Yugoslav troops will bolster your forces, giving you a numerical advantage over the poorly trained, poorly equipped, starving Soviet Army.
  14. Burn the Ukraine. All of it. If Truman can’t see the flames out his back window, you’re not trying hard enough. Watch millions of Soviets starve within weeks.
  15. Surround Stalingrad and shell it into oblivion. Don’t attempt to capture it. That would be an insane waste of lives; who in their right mind would even try it?
  16. Besides the Ukrainians, treat Soviet citizens well. Feed them, clothe them, give them free coal to heat their homes. This is far more than Stalin ever did for them, and they’ll love you for it. Blame the Ukraine on Stalin; it’s not like it’s something he wouldn’t do, and how are a bunch of illiterate Russian peasants supposed to find out otherwise?
  17. Build modern roads and rail lines through captured Soviet territory. This will help with the supply issues.
  18. DO NOT let up fighting during the winter months. Supply your troops with plentiful winter gear, produced by the US.
  19. Capture Moscow. Play it up as the liberation of the poor Russian people from the oppressive Stalinists. Set up a puppet government in the Kremlin.
  20. Push on to the Ural mountains. Stop there.
  21. Watch the Soviet Union collapse as most of its population, manufacturing, and now its seat of government are in your hands. Sign a peace with whatever successor state pops up in Siberia.
  22. Consolidate your hold over your new Russian lands. Blame any atrocities committed on Soviet citizens on the Poles, playing up their ancient hatred.
  23. Slowly, secretly, start shipping your Slavic people to Gulags in the far north. Keep a tight control on the media, and ship whole villages at once, in order to prevent any word from escaping. Use lessons learned from the Jews.
  24. NOW it’s time for the final solution. Start killing Jews and Slavs in the camps (Remember people, this is a hypothetical answer. I, THE ANSWER WRITER, DO NOT CONDONE GENOCIDE.)
  25. Ship Germans to the new lands. Start with the Ukraine, since it’s largely depopulated already.
  26. Rule over your glorious Third Reich. Annex the Italians, Spanish, and Vichy French as you see fit. Reap the benefits of your strong trade relationship with the US.
  27. Leave Switzerland alone.

2-2-21: Terrible joke. Leaving it up


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woberdor's picture
Joined: 09/30/2012
Not bad, but I see a few

Not bad, but I see a few problems here:

After the remilitarization of the Rhineland, which was a direct violation of the Versailles treaty, there were a small minority of voices in Europe calling for war with Germany. Then there was the Anschluss of Austria, which pissed some people off further. Then, Britain and France sold out their ally Czechoslovakia to avoid war for the Sudetenland, which again pissed people off further. Then Hitler occupied the entire country. Then Hitler took Memel from Lithuania.

So, as you can imagine, the allied powers were understanding that if they didn't stop Germany, they would not stop annexing until they had, well, everything. So when they came knocking on Poland's door for Danzig, Britain and France backed Poland up.

Then we have the issue of Germany trying to make nice to Britain after France and Poland got stomped:

Germany already tried that and Britain wouldn't surrender. All that propaganda from WWI was coming back and Britain thought that Germany was evil and must be stopped. And to add to that, pretty much every historian thought that Operation Sea Lion (German plans to invade mainland Britain) would never work. So now, Germany is in a war that will continue more or less indefinitely unless outside powers intervene. And of the powers that intervene, none of them could realisticly help Germany beat Britain. Japan? Nope, they'd get stomped by the Royal Navy, and even if they didn't, their ships would get found by British radar and bombed to hell the moment they got in range of the RAF. And the Italians? Pfft, Germany had to bail their asses out in Africa.

Then there's the idea that the US would help:

Well, when Germany was fighting Britain, Britain was getting a ton of lend lease from the Americans. After the fall of France, a lot of Americans shared the British belief that Germany was evil and had to be stopped. In the Destroyers for Bases agreement, they even got 50 of our destroyers, and 10 other boats later.

Even when Japan declared war on us, we still declared on Germany. Did we have to do that? I don't think so. We could have easily smacked down Japan and left Hitler alone, but we didn't. Hell, when Germany fought the USSR, we gave assloads of lend lease to the Russians! We were so committed to destroying the Fascists that we gave guns to the communists!! So its a pretty damn hard sell to get the US to help in any way.

"Well gee Woberdor, you just shit all over a content creator to make yourself feel smart. What would YOU have done since you're so clever?"

Well first off, I would have stopped at Czechoslovakia. By that time, Germany had annexed two entire COUNTRIES without a shot fired. For further expansion, I would have turned the expansion rhetoric against Italy. They annexed poor little Ethiopia, Albania, and later declared war on Greece and Yugoslavia. I'm pretty sure that Germany could stomp them and even get support. It wouldn't be a hard sell for the German people either, because they were originally allied to them in WWI and turned on them for land. Germany was still extremely bitter over WWI in general.

After the Anschluss, Germany shared a land border with them. Granted, it was across the Alps, but Italy sucks and I'm sure Germany could figure it out. This is important because military access wasn't given out willy-nilly during this time, hence the Germans stomping Belgium to fight France in both world wars.

Now there's an economic power house that streches from the Baltic to the Mediterranean and even North Africa and Ethiopia. That's a BEAST of an empire that would make Britain flinch. As for Russia? Just don't do it. Seriously, just don't. Russia only got successfully invaded by the damn Mongols. Just leave them alone. They'll self destruct eventually anyway so who cares? Also ignore Japan, they don't contribute shit. Maybe we can make a trade with Poland later on for Danzig that way we have a land connection to East Prussia. Maybe give them Slovakia and the Carpatian mountains? Throw in a protection deal from those nasty Bolsheviks who have been eying them up historically and you'll be good to go.