Lay Report SNL: Tonight was kinda crazy
Sun, 08/12/2012 - 14:03
It's 6 am and I'm tired as shit. Just got home.
Went to her place, had sex, hid in the bathroom from her dad as she convinced him that the guy he heard was her best friend from grade school and that he had just left, smoked, got head on the beach, she lost her phone,
Hiding from the dad was nuts, lmao. Dude was HUGE and JACKED and PISSED
Getting head while high and chiln on the beach feels pretty amazing.
I really like the beach. Water is BY FAR my favorite element.
I don't know where the fuck her phone is but that kinda sucks for her
Okay- I'm just too tired to write you guys up something better.
Went to her place, had sex, hid in the bathroom from her dad as she convinced him that the guy he heard was her best friend from grade school and that he had just left, smoked, got head on the beach, she lost her phone,
Hiding from the dad was nuts, lmao. Dude was HUGE and JACKED and PISSED
Getting head while high and chiln on the beach feels pretty amazing.
I really like the beach. Water is BY FAR my favorite element.
I don't know where the fuck her phone is but that kinda sucks for her
Okay- I'm just too tired to write you guys up something better.
Sun, 08/12/2012 - 21:36
#1
Re: Lay Report SNL: Tonight was kinda crazy
@buddhagames:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk9G7OyKwLM&feature=related (Don't be gay and just admit you LOVE this song)
Okay... so last night was a really good night and had a ton of lessons...
Okay so I get into the venue and head straight to the bathroom to take a piss (my drive is so long taht I literally piss right before I leave and then by the time I get to san fran, I ALWAYS am like about to piss my pants lol). I get out and there is a STUNNER standing outside the bathroom- I go in strong, confident, slow it down, "Hey, you're really fucking cute"... pause, eye contact, give the interaction space, she responds... get into a little conversation.
Vibe a little, make fun of her a little, tossle her hair a little- start physical escalation a little... she's like, "Want to come meet 8 of my girl friends?" uhmmm.... "yes?"... grab her hand, she let's go- who cares... grab her hand- she lets go- who cares... haha as were walkign through the dance floor I start messing around with her physically, just like playing with her hips and shit... she's into it and then goes, "Okay, enough" and we keep walking...
Run into a group of girls, I chat em up- apparently these aren't actually her friends LOL.. anyway- she says something and I say, "FUCK YOU" but in, what i thought, was a joking tonality but she's like, "Okay- wtvr" and bounces- I grab her dress to pull her back and she looks back and is like, "Uhmmm no"- It's cool.... She was a stunner (actually thogh- she was like 6'2 with heels, fat ass, money face- the kind of girl who, when you first get into this, scares the living shit out of you) and into me- I'm sure I"ll find her later (foreshadowingggggg)
So I head to the bar, walk past some girl then look at her and she's cute so I go up, tap tap on the shoulder, she kind of turns around, "Hey, you're really cute"... she doesn't really turn around from getting her drink.. I just stand there, "I'm Buddhagames... what's your name"- she turns around, gives me her name and finally looks me in the eyes- NOW she's hooked, hehe. SO we chat a bit- I'm getting physical, she is slightly rejecting my physicality but I'm just staying consistent and keep escalating... back off, escalate, back off, escalate... never actually stopping- but still respecting her and understanding that I have to back off a little.
We chat and vibe for maybe 10 minutes or so... she hears a song and is like, "OMG I have to go thank the dj... I told him to put this on"- so she heads off and I leave to go find more girls.. I'm sure I'll see her later (Foreshadowwwingggg)
See another girl- open, she opens very weakly (wow so I'm starting to actually notice a coorelation between how strong a girl opens and wehther or not she has a bf...) anyway- plow and just be self amusing a little bit and she opens up- turns towards me.. sstarts engaging but then in the middle of the conversation, casually mentions how her bf is out in ny... okay- nice meeting you.
Open a few more that go okay.
Head outside to get a breath of air and see U5 and Spikesiegal in line.. chat with them and see two ABSOLUTE STUNNERS talking with a random group of black dudes.. so I go in and approach the blondie...
Both of them IMMEDIATELY start making fun of me... I hold my frame and basically just act completely OBLIVIOUS to the fact that they are making fun of me... ask the blondie her name.. she gives it to me- i give her shit about it being a fake name...
Ask her what she does, "She's a jewelery sales person"- make some jokes in the vain of, "So... any diamond studded dildos I could buy off of you?"... she's dieing of laughter...
Keep talking- I'm being fucking hilarious... she's hooked and at one point says, "OMG you are fucking hilarious, you're killing me!!"
Oh- her friend gives me a shittest at one poitn and goes, "She's not going to have sex with you"... I just look at her and go, "HOLY SHIT GIRL... I'm just trying to have a conversation here... get your head out of the gutter... gawwwwddddd" they both start cracking up... I push on this joke for a little until the friend shuts the fuck up and goes back to talkign to her black friends. (BTW- this was a fucking rediculous mixed set lmao... there were like 5 dudes in it and these 2 girls.... I didn't give a flying fuck- the dudes eventually just leave... and I'm still standing)
Anyway- keep jokin around with this girl and she's loving it- getting a little physical.. her friend comes over and says soemthing... I make fun of her and she starts cracking up...
The friend reiterated again how we're not going to have sex... I make some joke- they both start laughing... then my girl is like, "Yeah, no sex, we're just going to makeout" and I go, Yeah, were just gonna makeout" and go in for the makeout lmfao!
She is SUPER SUPER SUPER SURPRISED... resists at first but then it's on... THey are both like DIEING at this point... they both are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT- they just hvae NO CLUE how this random dude on the street, who they were initially completely making fun of, is suddenly making out with one of them (they are BY FAR the hottest girls outside the club- and 2 of the hotter girls in the club)...
So I grab my girls hand and we walk into the club... we go to a grab a drink... makeout with my girl... At this point I figure it's just totally on and she's totally hooked...
Her friend meets some dude but it's weird cause at this point the friend just starts like legit cockblocking me SUPER SUPER SUPER HARD... she's like, "My friend keeps telling me she doesn't want to makeout with you" and I"m like, "Yeah, I know, right... and yet she keeps doing it" (As I go in for the makeout) then her friend like grabs my hand and is like, "Okay, let's go grab a drink"... it was all super confusing... like theo ne girl was completely hating on me (despite having met her own dude) and saying all this shit and just being a bitch and my girl was making out with me, grabbing my hand to get drinks etc...
It was weird... at the same time, my girl like WOULDN"T leave her friend... until eventually we go and get some drinks.
The crowd at the bar is rough though and we go up to the bar to get a drink and she fits into the spot and I don't... so I just stand behind her like a fucking chode and literally don't talk to her for like 5 minutes... lost the set here... she's turned cold... oh well- Lesson learned...I just gotta be CONSISTENT with my personality and not let the set go cold.
Anyway- she also says she's married with 2 kids (but i actually don't believe her... she didn't even have a ring)
Walk around a bit more- see spikesiegal with some girl and decide to try and steal her (it was more playful than anything) but I can't so I head through the crowd...
I see stunner girl from the beginning of the night and claw her in- she's into it... I'm grabbin her ass and shit.... her friend is super durnk though and she's like, "We have to go home cause my friend is hammered" so I # close - we'll see if it's solid.. would be cool though.
Head back to the regular area and I'm walkin around for like 30 seconds and the other girl from earlier in the night who left to go talk to the DJ sees me and is like, "HEYY!!" so we chat a bit and vibe- some dude comes in and they chat, I just chill back... we go and sit down- tell her some story about diamond encrusted dildos..
I ask her if she smokes and she interprets it as, "Do you smoke weed" and she's like, "Yeah" and I just take the opportunity that's been presented and I'm like, "Do you have weed" and she's like, "At my house, yeah" so I'm like, "Cool, let's go blaze" and she's like, "Yeah, sounds good"... BOOOM MONEY MONEY
Go in for the makeout and she's like, "I can't makeout in front of people"
So we go and grab her card- she says goodbye to the DJ and we head out...
We walk to my car- I try and slam her against a wall to makeout- she's like, "nonono just keep walking" ... I stay calm and in my head I'm like, "Yo-- you're going to her place... just have trust"
So we get in my car- drive to her place... we're jokin, vibing, wtvr the whole time
We get into her room and the SECOND we are in her room, I go in for the makeout and ITS HARDCORE FUCKING ON... she's totally into it- I start rubbing her pussy, making out with her. She starts rubbing my dick...
Holy shit though- she had one of those "rompers" on and I legit just couldn't get it off.. so we take a short break and she's like, "I gotta go tell my mom I'm here".... HAHAHHA- I'm like, "WHAT THE FUCKKKKK"... so she goes to her parents, tells them she's here and lies and says that she's with her best guy friend from elementery school- her parents are FLIPPING OUT AT HER... lmao... at this point, in my head I'm just like, "Fuck it... I'm here... I'm just going to chil out, who gives a fuck- if her parents come in and trip out, I'll just leave. No biggy" haha so I just lay out on the bed and relax while her and her parents argue.
She comes back in and is like ,"OMGGG" we get her weed stuff ready and I tell her to change clothes (I literally don't know how to get her out of her romper... FOILED).. so she changes and while she's just in her thong, I take the opportunity to start making out iwth her again- push her down, she starts sucking my dick.. .I stand her up and we start fucking...
BTW- I 'm really bad at sex right now lmfao... I haven't had much sober sex in my life- except with my ex and maybe 5 other girls or something so I willl learn and eventually become good at it.
She hears a noise and trips out- so we head to the bathroom, lock the door and start fucking again. The bathroom is small as SHIT haha- so we finish up and then the lights in her room turn off and her dad is FREAKING OUT- he DEF. heard us fucking... like shit in the bathroom was falling to the floor- we were slamming up against the door... not good lmao.
So she's like, "Whatever you do... DO NOT COME OUTSIDE..." So she goes out and her dad is FREAKING OUT... like cussing her out and shit.. she eventually calms him down and convinces him that the only dude who was there was her best guy friend... and that he had already left...
basically I just hide in the bathroom for like 15 minutes lmfao- I text my wing and I"m just like, "DUde... I just fucked and now I am currently hiding in the bathroom"...
lol eventually I get out and we gather her weed shit and head out and drive to the beach, chill out- smoke a little (I take 2 hits and get SUPER SUPER FUCKING BAKED OFF OF IT) we walk around a bit and then we basically just have a conversation where I'm like, "I've never gotten my dick sucked on the beach" and she's like, "Well, I've never given head on the beach" and I'm like, "Let's do it" and she's like, "Okay" hahahaha
Then, it's cold as shit and taking a bit so she's like, "You just want me to turn around" and I'm like, "Okay" so she just turns around and bends over... lol, so casual... finish up.
afterwards she's like, "Have you ever seen that movie, 'friends with benefits'?" I feel like that's us right now... but OMG OMG OMG WTF... I JUST met you... like what's happening?!?!" haha I calm her down and we get back to our cute little bubble of friendship and sex (this, honestly, is what I love- like just chiln out and bein cool and havin sex)
So we're still baked as fuck at this point (at least I am haha)... I have some funny audio recordings from this where I'm just laughing hysterically and saying the most random shit.
She loses her phone and we search for it for a long time but have no success finding it... OH WELLLL
So yeah, we're still baked as fuck so we head over to the art palace (most rediculously cool structure I've ever seen in person)...
lmfao- we end up just chiln out, laying the ground, staring up at the honeycomb celing- it was like something out of a movie.. we didn't even really talk, we just sat there and chilled out...
Went back to my car- dropped her off at her friends place and went home for the night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk9G7OyKwLM&feature=related (Don't be gay and just admit you LOVE this song)
Okay... so last night was a really good night and had a ton of lessons...
Okay so I get into the venue and head straight to the bathroom to take a piss (my drive is so long taht I literally piss right before I leave and then by the time I get to san fran, I ALWAYS am like about to piss my pants lol). I get out and there is a STUNNER standing outside the bathroom- I go in strong, confident, slow it down, "Hey, you're really fucking cute"... pause, eye contact, give the interaction space, she responds... get into a little conversation.
Vibe a little, make fun of her a little, tossle her hair a little- start physical escalation a little... she's like, "Want to come meet 8 of my girl friends?" uhmmm.... "yes?"... grab her hand, she let's go- who cares... grab her hand- she lets go- who cares... haha as were walkign through the dance floor I start messing around with her physically, just like playing with her hips and shit... she's into it and then goes, "Okay, enough" and we keep walking...
Run into a group of girls, I chat em up- apparently these aren't actually her friends LOL.. anyway- she says something and I say, "FUCK YOU" but in, what i thought, was a joking tonality but she's like, "Okay- wtvr" and bounces- I grab her dress to pull her back and she looks back and is like, "Uhmmm no"- It's cool.... She was a stunner (actually thogh- she was like 6'2 with heels, fat ass, money face- the kind of girl who, when you first get into this, scares the living shit out of you) and into me- I'm sure I"ll find her later (foreshadowingggggg)
So I head to the bar, walk past some girl then look at her and she's cute so I go up, tap tap on the shoulder, she kind of turns around, "Hey, you're really cute"... she doesn't really turn around from getting her drink.. I just stand there, "I'm Buddhagames... what's your name"- she turns around, gives me her name and finally looks me in the eyes- NOW she's hooked, hehe. SO we chat a bit- I'm getting physical, she is slightly rejecting my physicality but I'm just staying consistent and keep escalating... back off, escalate, back off, escalate... never actually stopping- but still respecting her and understanding that I have to back off a little.
We chat and vibe for maybe 10 minutes or so... she hears a song and is like, "OMG I have to go thank the dj... I told him to put this on"- so she heads off and I leave to go find more girls.. I'm sure I'll see her later (Foreshadowwwingggg)
See another girl- open, she opens very weakly (wow so I'm starting to actually notice a coorelation between how strong a girl opens and wehther or not she has a bf...) anyway- plow and just be self amusing a little bit and she opens up- turns towards me.. sstarts engaging but then in the middle of the conversation, casually mentions how her bf is out in ny... okay- nice meeting you.
Open a few more that go okay.
Head outside to get a breath of air and see U5 and Spikesiegal in line.. chat with them and see two ABSOLUTE STUNNERS talking with a random group of black dudes.. so I go in and approach the blondie...
Both of them IMMEDIATELY start making fun of me... I hold my frame and basically just act completely OBLIVIOUS to the fact that they are making fun of me... ask the blondie her name.. she gives it to me- i give her shit about it being a fake name...
Ask her what she does, "She's a jewelery sales person"- make some jokes in the vain of, "So... any diamond studded dildos I could buy off of you?"... she's dieing of laughter...
Keep talking- I'm being fucking hilarious... she's hooked and at one point says, "OMG you are fucking hilarious, you're killing me!!"
Oh- her friend gives me a shittest at one poitn and goes, "She's not going to have sex with you"... I just look at her and go, "HOLY SHIT GIRL... I'm just trying to have a conversation here... get your head out of the gutter... gawwwwddddd" they both start cracking up... I push on this joke for a little until the friend shuts the fuck up and goes back to talkign to her black friends. (BTW- this was a fucking rediculous mixed set lmao... there were like 5 dudes in it and these 2 girls.... I didn't give a flying fuck- the dudes eventually just leave... and I'm still standing)
Anyway- keep jokin around with this girl and she's loving it- getting a little physical.. her friend comes over and says soemthing... I make fun of her and she starts cracking up...
The friend reiterated again how we're not going to have sex... I make some joke- they both start laughing... then my girl is like, "Yeah, no sex, we're just going to makeout" and I go, Yeah, were just gonna makeout" and go in for the makeout lmfao!
She is SUPER SUPER SUPER SURPRISED... resists at first but then it's on... THey are both like DIEING at this point... they both are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT- they just hvae NO CLUE how this random dude on the street, who they were initially completely making fun of, is suddenly making out with one of them (they are BY FAR the hottest girls outside the club- and 2 of the hotter girls in the club)...
So I grab my girls hand and we walk into the club... we go to a grab a drink... makeout with my girl... At this point I figure it's just totally on and she's totally hooked...
Her friend meets some dude but it's weird cause at this point the friend just starts like legit cockblocking me SUPER SUPER SUPER HARD... she's like, "My friend keeps telling me she doesn't want to makeout with you" and I"m like, "Yeah, I know, right... and yet she keeps doing it" (As I go in for the makeout) then her friend like grabs my hand and is like, "Okay, let's go grab a drink"... it was all super confusing... like theo ne girl was completely hating on me (despite having met her own dude) and saying all this shit and just being a bitch and my girl was making out with me, grabbing my hand to get drinks etc...
It was weird... at the same time, my girl like WOULDN"T leave her friend... until eventually we go and get some drinks.
The crowd at the bar is rough though and we go up to the bar to get a drink and she fits into the spot and I don't... so I just stand behind her like a fucking chode and literally don't talk to her for like 5 minutes... lost the set here... she's turned cold... oh well- Lesson learned...I just gotta be CONSISTENT with my personality and not let the set go cold.
Anyway- she also says she's married with 2 kids (but i actually don't believe her... she didn't even have a ring)
Walk around a bit more- see spikesiegal with some girl and decide to try and steal her (it was more playful than anything) but I can't so I head through the crowd...
I see stunner girl from the beginning of the night and claw her in- she's into it... I'm grabbin her ass and shit.... her friend is super durnk though and she's like, "We have to go home cause my friend is hammered" so I # close - we'll see if it's solid.. would be cool though.
Head back to the regular area and I'm walkin around for like 30 seconds and the other girl from earlier in the night who left to go talk to the DJ sees me and is like, "HEYY!!" so we chat a bit and vibe- some dude comes in and they chat, I just chill back... we go and sit down- tell her some story about diamond encrusted dildos..
I ask her if she smokes and she interprets it as, "Do you smoke weed" and she's like, "Yeah" and I just take the opportunity that's been presented and I'm like, "Do you have weed" and she's like, "At my house, yeah" so I'm like, "Cool, let's go blaze" and she's like, "Yeah, sounds good"... BOOOM MONEY MONEY
Go in for the makeout and she's like, "I can't makeout in front of people"
So we go and grab her card- she says goodbye to the DJ and we head out...
We walk to my car- I try and slam her against a wall to makeout- she's like, "nonono just keep walking" ... I stay calm and in my head I'm like, "Yo-- you're going to her place... just have trust"
So we get in my car- drive to her place... we're jokin, vibing, wtvr the whole time
We get into her room and the SECOND we are in her room, I go in for the makeout and ITS HARDCORE FUCKING ON... she's totally into it- I start rubbing her pussy, making out with her. She starts rubbing my dick...
Holy shit though- she had one of those "rompers" on and I legit just couldn't get it off.. so we take a short break and she's like, "I gotta go tell my mom I'm here".... HAHAHHA- I'm like, "WHAT THE FUCKKKKK"... so she goes to her parents, tells them she's here and lies and says that she's with her best guy friend from elementery school- her parents are FLIPPING OUT AT HER... lmao... at this point, in my head I'm just like, "Fuck it... I'm here... I'm just going to chil out, who gives a fuck- if her parents come in and trip out, I'll just leave. No biggy" haha so I just lay out on the bed and relax while her and her parents argue.
She comes back in and is like ,"OMGGG" we get her weed stuff ready and I tell her to change clothes (I literally don't know how to get her out of her romper... FOILED).. so she changes and while she's just in her thong, I take the opportunity to start making out iwth her again- push her down, she starts sucking my dick.. .I stand her up and we start fucking...
BTW- I 'm really bad at sex right now lmfao... I haven't had much sober sex in my life- except with my ex and maybe 5 other girls or something so I willl learn and eventually become good at it.
She hears a noise and trips out- so we head to the bathroom, lock the door and start fucking again. The bathroom is small as SHIT haha- so we finish up and then the lights in her room turn off and her dad is FREAKING OUT- he DEF. heard us fucking... like shit in the bathroom was falling to the floor- we were slamming up against the door... not good lmao.
So she's like, "Whatever you do... DO NOT COME OUTSIDE..." So she goes out and her dad is FREAKING OUT... like cussing her out and shit.. she eventually calms him down and convinces him that the only dude who was there was her best guy friend... and that he had already left...
basically I just hide in the bathroom for like 15 minutes lmfao- I text my wing and I"m just like, "DUde... I just fucked and now I am currently hiding in the bathroom"...
lol eventually I get out and we gather her weed shit and head out and drive to the beach, chill out- smoke a little (I take 2 hits and get SUPER SUPER FUCKING BAKED OFF OF IT) we walk around a bit and then we basically just have a conversation where I'm like, "I've never gotten my dick sucked on the beach" and she's like, "Well, I've never given head on the beach" and I'm like, "Let's do it" and she's like, "Okay" hahahaha
Then, it's cold as shit and taking a bit so she's like, "You just want me to turn around" and I'm like, "Okay" so she just turns around and bends over... lol, so casual... finish up.
afterwards she's like, "Have you ever seen that movie, 'friends with benefits'?" I feel like that's us right now... but OMG OMG OMG WTF... I JUST met you... like what's happening?!?!" haha I calm her down and we get back to our cute little bubble of friendship and sex (this, honestly, is what I love- like just chiln out and bein cool and havin sex)
So we're still baked as fuck at this point (at least I am haha)... I have some funny audio recordings from this where I'm just laughing hysterically and saying the most random shit.
She loses her phone and we search for it for a long time but have no success finding it... OH WELLLL
So yeah, we're still baked as fuck so we head over to the art palace (most rediculously cool structure I've ever seen in person)...
lmfao- we end up just chiln out, laying the ground, staring up at the honeycomb celing- it was like something out of a movie.. we didn't even really talk, we just sat there and chilled out...
Went back to my car- dropped her off at her friends place and went home for the night.
Mon, 08/13/2012 - 00:50
#2
Re: Lay Report SNL: Tonight was kinda crazy
I got a boner.
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Mon, 08/13/2012 - 09:35
#3
Re: Lay Report SNL: Tonight was kinda crazy
@Manwhore:
and so did the father
and so did the father
Tue, 08/14/2012 - 01:13
#4
Re: Lay Report SNL: Tonight was kinda crazy
*Facepalm*
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Tue, 08/14/2012 - 01:47
#5
Re: Lay Report SNL: Tonight was kinda crazy
sounds like a good night, awesome work esp. with the mixed set!