the less I care about what I'm feeling the happier I get
Don't get me wrong, you have to be aware of what you are feeling but I just played into it so much. It's funny, even though I experience rather consistent dull negative emotions the past week I am becoming happier and more present UNDERNEATH the emotions. I just watch them. Oh? I have urges to cause drama or retaliate against my family and make them know how fucked they are? Hahaha...No. it's not in play anymore, it's just me and the world and me growing out of this she'll of emotions that has bound me for so so so long. This is the real happiness
Really cool. Started your modelling career yet?
I know what you mean Beargrizz.
Yesterday heading to this club I was just pissed off. Still from not pulling the trigger the night before.
I was just like ok I accept this dark and almost morose energy brewing in me. I felt like the prince of darkness or something. And when I was hanging with these girls inside I just didnt give a fuck about them and therefor didnt try to game them. Instead I watched this 60 yr old macking on this hot waitress. He had stellar dance moves and she was loving it.
Then I went around telling women how much coke I sell, totally self amusing, and ended up making out/chilling with the hottest girl at the club.
I wasn't high energy or anything, but I ended up using the dark shit I was feeling as inspiration to start making up how I'm a criminal lol, and just fucking around
The less I cared about it, the more I didnt give a fuck
Right it's more like seeing that none of it is "you" that you are above it all. That you actually are always happy when conscious. Gratitude is huge
You can probably go on kickstarter and get your modeling career funded