Lesson Learned: Importance of a proper warm up if you’re just starting out
Was writing this down for my weekly write up and thought it could add some value on the forum. The majority of the people who post seems pretty advanced, so doubt this will help you, but for some of you lurkers, ya never know J
Prior to training I literally almost never cold approached, but if I did I would be borderline blackout or say some bullshit sentence and then walk away. Not even just cold approach either, I just didn’t engage strangers in social settings. I sat and talked to my friends all night like chodey mc chodelstein. Due to this, approaching and being a leader is still in the semi-forced, habit forming stage.
What I have noticed over the past several weeks is there is a big delta between when I am “on” and when I am in my head and reverting back to old habits. To counter this I try to focus on 2 things every single time I go out.
Warm the fvck up: Yes, I know this isn’t sports, but same rule applies. You want to get yourself going before you just jump in the game. Before I go into the club / bar I make it a point to try and open at least 5-10 different people. Ideally its attractive women, but if they are all inside the club, you can still talk to normal girls, dudes, whatever. Shit, go chat up a crackhead, they will talk for days. I think its important to do this as you get better because while I understand the mechanics at play now, I still need to re-convince my brain at times that NOTHING is wrong with engaging people I don’t know. 20 some odd years of conditioning is definitely starting to be undone, but you have to beat that shit back constantly to ensure it stays dead. All of the nights I have done well are because I have gone into the club in the zone and ready to go.
Reducing time between sets: If warming up is 1A, this is definitely 1B for me. My go-to move for years was pretty simple. Stand at the bar and just get hammered, while engaging only my friends or just being in my own head. Cringe Worthy. When I take too long between sets this again creeps back in. A simple rule that has worked when I find myself falling into this old habit is to just start moving your damn feet in a direction before any type of beta thoughts have time to creep in. They will be your tour guide on your slay fest for the evening, trust them to take you where you need to go, lol.
Those two helped me a lot, but the biggest one was this. Stop linking going out with cold approach. I got too caught up in…” ohhhhh shit, its Friday, going to the bar, this is it, don’t fvcking blow it.” I was placing so much additional pressure on myself while trying to learn this that it caused me to just get all heady and shit at times. Instead, think of cold approach as your Monday – Sunday job. Only in these last few weeks have I really made it a point to just approach a fvck ton of people all day during the work week. Could be at the coffee shop, gym, hot girl walking her dog on a Wednesday, whatever. The bar is just the most target rich environment, but you have to get your practice reps in during the week. Since I have started applying this I feel so much more relaxed when I do go out on fri / Saturday because those nights are no longer make / break since I maximize each day of the week and “warm up “24/7.
Noice! How does Tolle, presence development 'n meditation help? Obviously there's some verbal/NLP/bioenergetics stuff you do we can't talk about but there's plenty of stuff you can help some guys fill in.