Little Leprechaun

Girl: Haha, totally. You may as well call me danger mouse. (adorable.)

Me - 14 hrs 34 mins later: Haha, You're definitely the type of girl who leads unsuspecting men into vans with candy.

(Didn't get a reply throughout the day, but I had an awesome day at a wedding reception with my family so I figured I'd drop her a voicemail and spiel about it for a bit. Also plugged in my favourite candy for preferential bait)

Girl - 13 hrs 28 mins later: Just listened to your voicemail message. Loved it :-) skittles are definitely the best ones. Currently sat on a night bus feeling a little bit drunk. Do you have plans for tomorrow?

Me - 6 hrs 30 mins later: Meeting a buddy later and running a couple little errands early. Generally pretty free, you scheming something?

Girl - 2 hrs 28 mins later: I'm free this afternoon if you wanted to get a coffee?

Me - 20 mins later: Haha sure. I'm gonna beat your ass at jenga while sipping on a latte dangermouse. *dickballs* station for half 1ish?

Girl - 13 mins later: Haha, ok. I don't think I've been to *dickballs* so this will be a whole new experience for me. Could we do half two instead?

Me - 5 mins later: Lol, sure. All about the new experiences. Half 2 it is. Wear somethin cute so we match ;)

Leaving in like an hour. Updates to come.

Stop being on your guard this girl wants you

Got it man, thanks! I'll keep it in check!

Nice 

So I met this chick at the station, found me sitting there reading (King, warrior, magician, lover), she asked and I explained what it was about. Took her over to the coffee shop, she's asking questions about me on that 5 minute walk and I'm just joking about- teasing and whatnot.
Chat for like an hour, I'm pretty enthralled and lose track of time tbh.

She seems to be a pretty cool, open-minded chick. Asks if I meet a lot of girls randomly on the street and go out with them, I say I've def done it before- that I enjoy the spontaneity of it all- She loves it. We talk game a bit, apparently her roommate told her I'm prob one of those guys who "plays that game". I say I've been doing it since high school, and explain how it helped me break out of my shell.

We talk family for a bit and get a little philosophical. We agree that you never know what's going to happen in this world. Then makeout. Some light petting then heavier petting. I put her hand on my dick. "Look what you did" She rubs him a bit then gets shy. I then tell her we're leaving. Baby step her to the tube, we take the stairs, I push her up against the wall yadda yadda. Tell her I'm exploring my exhibitionist side haha.

She says she's got to go home. I say "Cool let's go". We go to the platform and back n forth a bit. Every time she tells me it's not happening I look at her like she's talking rubbish. Smiles, giggles, more back n forth. We get the tube. Same shit on the tube. I pull her hips in and rub my dick on her. I'm wearing no underwear. She tries to stop me from getting on the tube, I pick her up, take her with me.

More back and forth. Looks like I'm basically homefree. We're in our little bubble. She notices we're at the wrong stop. We went the wrong fucking way. Shit. We're closer to my place now but I can't take her there. Family around. We go to the right platform and back and forth a bit more. Hips on crotch. More eye contact. Sexy green eyes. She says not today, I look at her like she's speaking another language.

This goes on for bout 10-15 minutes. She asks me what I'll think of her if she bangs me today. I reassure her she's a cool chick and a girl doing what she feels and wants is something I find attractive and respect. She's cool with that. We banter a little more and she tells me "it's time we say goodbye" I pull her in by the hips and she leans in to kiss me. Her train comes. I pull back, tease her a little, tell her she'll miss her train. She says "I'll get the next one". I stop and tell her. "Alright go." Smirking. She looks over her shoulder all sexy-like. And that's that.

So close haha. I'm see it would've happened if you went the right way hah 

Haha yeah man. That was a kick to the balls. She'd completely accepted I was coming with til that point, then the bubble burst. Lol

That night.

Me - 10 hrs later: Girl I'm about to pass out. Thanks for a good time, you're a cool chick nibbler ;)

Girl - 8 hrs 20 mins later: Thank you too, it was definitely a fun afternoon :-) xx

Me - 3 days 5 hrs later: So I'm starting yoga Sunday

Me: Meditating

Me: Starting to think the logical next steps to shave my head and become a monk

Girl - 8 hrs 17 mins later: Yoga sounds good

Girl: If you become a monk I'm pretty sure you'll have to stop kissing girls you just met on the underground

Me - 32 mins later: You can massage my bald head. Give it a kiss and a spitshine.

Me - 11 mins later: And for the record. I kissed you because you were genuine with me. And enjoyed the fuck out of it.

Left a voicemail a couple days later. No response. I sense myself falling into that chasing frame again though- so I'm chilling back.

Way way way too logical. With all of it. The way you handled it at the train stop. Dog shit. That last text, same thing. You can't even get laid in ideal circumstances with a chick that's obviously down. So why would she respond to your texts if the only point of that is to aim for a meetup with a guy that can't fuck her? 

Fuck. Yeah. Figured as much.

Honestly not too clear on the whole "too logical" end, but I get that it was a fuck-up that I didn't close the deal.

Right- see I thought you were referring to something completely different.

Aiight, so how should I have handled that? Flip it while still bringing a fun little vibe I'm guessing.

Have some fun with it, fuck with that and bring some humour then. "Girl I don't know what you're scheming, but I have a rape whistle and I'm not afraid to use it."

or some shit- just nothing that actually recognizes what she's saying as serious.

Or something.

Suppose I need to get it into my skull that the token resistance doesn't stop until my dick's in her mouth. I sat back, let shit run its course, and took my eye off the ball.

Cool.

Me: I''ll take my cake and eat it too thanks

-Eli
Girl - 14 hrs 50 mins later: Hi Eli, I wasn't sure if you'd actually get in touch..
Me - 2 hrs 45 mins later: Haha, why, you dangerous?
Girl - 6 hrs 59 mins later: Haha, totally. You may as well call me danger mouse.
Me - 14 hrs 34 mins later: Haha, You're definitely the type of girl who leads unsuspecting men into vans with candy.
Girl - 13 hrs 28 mins later: Just listened to your voicemail message. Loved it :-) skittles are definitely the best ones. Currently sat on a night bus feeling a little bit drunk. Do you have plans for tomorrow?
Me - 6 hrs 30 mins later: Meeting a buddy later and running a couple little errands early. Generally pretty free, you scheming something?
Girl - 2 hrs 28 mins later: I'm free this afternoon if you wanted to get a coffee?
Me - 20 mins later: Haha sure. I'm gonna beat your ass at jenga while sipping on a latte dangermouse. mornington crescent station for half 1ish?
Girl - 13 mins later: Haha, ok. I don't think I've been to mornington crescent so this will be a whole new experience for me. Could we do half two instead?
Me - 5 mins later: Lol, sure. All about the new experiences. Half 2 it is. Wear somethin cute so we match ;)
Girl - 1 hr 47 mins later: Would you mind if we went to Joe & the Juice on regents street as I need to run some errands in central London later?
Me - 14 mins later: leyas isn't far from mornington dangermouse. Prob 20 mins on the tube- but if you must take away my jenga :P sure.
Me: Far from central**, even haha
Girl - 1 min later: Haha. Ok let's stick with Mornington Crescent. Think I'll be there about. 14:45
Me - 2 mins later: Sounds good :)
Me - 10 hrs later: Girl I'm about to pass out. Thanks for a good time, you're a cool chick nibbler ;)
Girl - 8 hrs 20 mins later: Thank you too, it was definitely a fun afternoon :-) xx
Me - 3 days 5 hrs later: So I'm starting yoga Sunday
Me: Meditating
Me: Starting to think the logical next steps to shave my head and become a monk
Girl - 8 hrs 17 mins later: Yoga sounds good
Girl: If you become a monk I'm pretty sure you'll have to stop kissing girls you just met on the underground
Me - 32 mins later: You can massage my bald head. Give it a kiss and a spitshine.
Me - 11 mins later: And for the record. I kissed you because you were genuine with me. And enjoyed the fuck out of it.
Girl - 2 days 9 hrs later: Sorry I'm only just getting back to you, had a really busy weekend. Had to work yesterday as we've got a big event on tonight, which I'm organising. I am yet to learn the life skill that is driving yet! How was the rest of your weekend?
Me - 6 hrs 3 mins later: No worries, sounds like you've been working your ass off girl!
Me - 3 mins later: Weekend panned out to be pretty damn sweet. Yoga kicked my ass though. You feeling good, no nerves?
Girl - 31 mins later: I'll have to come see you doing your yoga moves! Feeling pretty calm, en route to the venue now to help get everything set up.
Me - 9 mins later: Downward facing dog ;)
Girl: Haha
Me - 4 mins later: Got that cool dangermouse composure going on mm. I'd pin back those little hips of yours, yoga mat optional.
Me - 17 hrs 17 mins later: How'd the event go nibbler, kick some ass and take some names?
Girl - 1 hr 14 mins later: It went very well thank you, no disasters. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Feeling pretty tired today though. Are you boxing tonight?
Me - 51 mins later: Sweet :) Well done.
Yeah i'm heading to the new gym to have a look around for the first time
Me: Got a little wrist injury. Gonna take it easy, hit some bag, go home juice and chill.
Girl - 5 hrs 29 mins later: Juiiicceee
Girl: Still need to get a new juicer, think I might order one tonight
Me - 26 mins later: Oooh. Defo do that! Got to have that carrot juice Kyle. Nectar of the gods.
Me - 1 min later: How're you at handling a knife and chopping board mm?
Girl - 2 hrs later: Pretty good actually :-)
Me - 3 mins later: Hm. Perfect. Come be my lovely assistant. Could use the extra juicing ninja skills.
Girl - 2 mins later: Assistant, no no, I'm more of a leading lady
Girl: Had some beetroot soup today for lunch, you would have enjoyed it
Me - 1 min later: Hahah, take charge in the kitchen eh?
I'd be lying if I didn't say that was a little sexy.
Me: Oohh that does sound delicious. I juiced beet greens today, they were bitter as Hell, but I liked it.
Girl - 2 mins later: Haha, yeah sometimes. Are you meant to eat beet greens?!
Me - 1 min later: They're equally good for you, little more potent in fact haha
Me - 1 min later: So I'm thinking
Me: I've bought a ton of meat , I'm gonna cook that up in bulk, you bring the wine and we'll juice til the early morn.
Me - 1 min later: Curb that faux-vegetarianism- those were happy chickens I swear. Lol
Girl - 38 mins later: Haha, that sounds lovely but I can't do tonight
Girl: Happy chickens are essential
Girl: I'll be able to tell if they were sad
Me - 1 hr 42 mins later: So I just finished boxing at the new place- the coaches are real cool girl haha. Felt like a champ walking out of there
Me: And too bad nvm haha, we'll have to schedule something nice in some other time- what's your week looking like
Girl - 1 hr 3 mins later: This week is pretty busy although I may have some time free at the weekend. Just bought a nutri bullet - so excited, it looks amazing!
Girl - 2 mins later: Haha, I love that you have one already!
Girl: Literally can't wait for it to arrive
Me - 9 mins later: You will fall in love with it. I was like a kid with some new shoes when I got mine.
Me: Slept with it for a week.
Me - 3 mins later: Busy Sunday, heading to the new gym, I can do something Saturday
Girl - 1 day 16 hrs later: I can do something on Saturday after about half past three
Me - 7 hrs 59 mins later: Cool sun'll be out. After my driving lesson I'm gonna have a shit-ton of road rage. Let's bump some brats to oblivion
Girl - 1 day 17 hrs later: Do you still want to do something this afternoon?
Me - 5 days 4 hrs later: What's up kooky, how's the week
Girl - 3 days 21 hrs later: Hey, sorry for slow reply. Had a great weekend thanks, actually sat through a game of football which I was quite impressed by!
Me - 1 day later: Haha, you're a couple steps away from football hooligan girl :P
Just about to hit the gym kid. Inabit
Me - 1 week 2 days later: I'm buying a sledgehammer. One step closer to world domination
Def beating you to the punch minion

Did something new develop? We kinda already established that you fucked this scenario up. 

Yeah. I met up with the chick again a while back.
She came to my little neighbourhood, we grabbed ice cream, chatted a bit and I walked her to my sister's place. Got inside and got more physical. Then she runs to the toilet real quick and I sit down and chill. Switch on the tv and she comes to join me. I go ahead and pull her into me, we make out a bit and I pull her legs in by her thighs. At which point she says something about us not having sex, I ignore at first, ease back and just heat it up again. Continues like that until the chick just straight up says "I think I should leave" and something about us wanting different things.

I remember falling into that whole 'logical' trap again at that point. Say something along the lines of she can leave if she likes, I'm not trying to force shit. Then I chill back and watch whatever's on tv. Should've just pulled out my dick, this of course only occured to me afterwards. Haven't dealt with any lmr besides this chick and one other, so I don't know wtf I'm doing.

Anyways, ended up leaving the place and chilling in the park. Doubt I'll see this chick again- how am I supposed to have dealt with this? Cause other than pulling out and prizing the dick, I got nothin.