LR: Cute Bubbly Newcomer gets to meet BobbyB
I matched with this cutie yesterday morning on Tinder. I decided I'd use some of the stuff you guys use on the forum to get my feet (dick) wet and try out some new tech. I'm not going to include the whole thing because it's quite a long conversation that starts on Tinder, then goes to texting/Facebook messenger but I will include what I believe to be threshold-points that move the interaction forward. I'm still confused as to how to add pictures that display within the text, not as attachments, so I'm going to write all of this by hand.
I will add some commentary here and there to try and explain (to myself as well) what is going on.
Tinder:
Me: Your natural beauty radiates from my iPhone. I instantly got a tan from your warm heavenly glow.
Me: brb getting some aloe vera
Her: Oh my, hope I didn't burn you.
Her: Well are you going to join me in the sun? Or stay in the shade
Me: My vampire habits are hard to break but I may make an exception
Me: My skin could use some Sun and soft hands
Her: It's fun breaking habits
Her: Oh? I may just have both
Her: Although, I'm dying to cool off somehow
Me: I have ice cubes I can massage you with
Me: Vampire are lonely creatures you know
Me: I heard banks have AC we could always rob one and stay inside
Me: You seem like you can handle some heat
Me: Also please explain this banana situation
Commentary: These last texts are too much, I basically hit her with 3 different ideas (the vampires, the ice cubes and the robbing a bank) when I could have simply used 1. As for the banana, she had a pic with a banana so I was inquiring about it.
Her: Enticing, in exchange for sun and soft hands?
Her: I've never met a vampire, I'm a different breed myself
Me: I make sure every exchange in win-win
Her: My kind of guy, like Bonnie and Clybe?
Commentary: She seems to have answered all of them lol. The breed for the vampire, the exchange, and the bank robbery LOL. I still think my texts were too much.
Me: Cold ice for soft warm sun
Me: A match made in heaven
Commentary: There is some subcommunication here using the word 'match' and referencing the combnination of hot and cold. Nothing too fancy yet.
Her: I do enjoy the thrill, plus anything for that sweet coin.
Me: The banana, *girl's name*, the banana.
Me: What is the story behind the banana
Her: Ah!
Her: links a video to the "banana boat song"
Her: Short story, I was making eggs and only had 2 hands, had to put the banana somewhere while I was dancing.
Me: Understandable
Me: One must dance after all
Me: I started boxing recently
Me: It's a dance in its own right
Me: dance could describe most things actually
Me: ANYWAY
Her: I used to box myself
Me: lets stalk each others profile
Commentary: I mention boxing because I use it on first dates now (more on this when we actually meet up), I mention dance because it creates a man to woman frame, and images of me leading her :P Maybe I'm looking too much into it but I think there's truth in this. Then I decide it's time to go to the next level (and check our her photos)
Her: My favourite thing to do besides people watch on a Friday night
Me: just added you ;)
Me: LONDON?
Me: So cool.
Me: My high school Coldplay house parties have led me to this moment
Me: I'm tearing up
Her: All those melancholic lyrics and Chris Martin music videos have led me to this day
Facebook:
Won't write everything. We start with some vibing and comments on each others' profile. She mentions she just arrived in my city, I tell her I'll be her spiritual guide.
Her: Will you be wearing this? (she links to a picture of indian pants that are fashionable now in some circles)
Me: Real shamans wear nature's garments only. Think Rafiqi in the Lion King.
She proceeds to send me a pic of her naked, back facing the camera, on a beach.
Me: I'm biking girl don't make me have an accident
Me: trigger warning gawd damn
Her: Oh no! Wouldn't want that to happen or I'll be howling alone tonight.
Commentary: earlier in the Facebook convo I had said something like "I finish late tonight but we can meet and howl at the moon anyway", so that's where the howling alone part comes from. Also her saying that is an amazing sign that she wants to meet-up, so my plan is to set-up logistics asap, and then keep texting so that when we meet the date goes smooth.
I send her a picture of my vainy hand. I have started doing this a lot recently and girls love it.
Me: My hands can be soft but are also skilled at grabbing
Me: I hated museum trips as a child
Me: No touching
Me: Torture!
Commentary: Pretty obvious. I turned it up a notch, implying I'm going to be touching her. This makes it easy to do so on the date because it's not surprising anymore.
Her: They obviously were bringing you to the wrong museums
Me: here I am, learning how to read, and theyre making me waste it on "Do Not Touch" signs
Me: I blame Obama.
Her: Naw I blame Nixon like my father does with everything
Me: Is that an invitation to be a daddy
Her: perhaps
Commentary: need I even explain this ;)?
We keep vibing and I use another of DaddyJihad's texts:
Me: So, *girl's name*, tell me 2 things I need to know before we bang out?
Me: *hang out
Me: damn autocorrect
Her: :LOL
Commentary: She proceeds to tell me, and asks for mine. I do this often because it puts a little seriousness into the convo as you're sharing something about yourself, and gives a breather from the projected fantasies of the earlier texts.
The rest of the Facebook convo is simple vibing. We set a time for the night and continue the rest through text. Her final text calls me babycakes.
Texting:
Me : Babycakes?
Me : I can roll with that
Her: What nickname would you like?
Her: Or else it'll be babycakes.
Me : Babycakes :)
Me : Ok cutie
Me : Just finished boxing
Me : On my way home
Her: lovely
Her: I'm on my way now
Me : Describe what you're wearing in detail
Me : I want to mentally dress that picture you sent me ;)
Her: I am wearing [xxxxxx]
Me : Since I still have to shower I haven't decided what I'm wearing yet
Me : I might go for a dark green t-shirt and some navy blue jeans
Me : Slutty but a slut you'd take out to dinner
Me : You know?
Commentary: I am reversing gender roles here. This does several things. 1) It's funny as hell 2) if you can reverse gender it means you have a basic understanding of women's experience 3) it communicates that I'm okay with the word slut, which by extension means that I'm okay with sex, I understand how these things go down. Watch her response ;)
Her: Very minimalist, almost like a tease.
Me : Yeah I still want you to imagine things
Me : don't want to you thinking you're just gonna come here and take advantage of me
Me : I promised my grandma I'd be on my best behaviour
Commentary: This one I got from MW. It communicates similar things as I explained above. Again, watch her response, it's quite magical ;)
Her: I'll try my best
Her: I cannot promise that I'll be
Her: especially if ankles are showing
Me : I'll have to be the voice of chaste reason
Me : It's fine I was raised in a monastery by a bunch of lesbian sisters
Commentary: I introduce religion into the mix because it's such a tension builder. The lesbian sisters is also a subcommunication that I am comfortable around women. I introduce the term chaste reason because I intend to be absolutely unreasonable. I return to religious themes and lack of reason later in the LR when we're about to have sex.
Her: Wow me too!
Her: What are the odds!
Me : Yeah but you're a woman!
Me : At least I think
Me : You seem to have these things called boobs
Her: Truth's out.
Commentary: Making it more sexual. I'm also teasing her by implying that I have to find out if she's a woman...we both know how that's done ;)
Her: These squishy things that make it difficult to run?
Me : Sports bra my darling have you heard of them
Me : At least you don't have DDs
Me : That would just be painful
Her: At certain times of the month I do lol
Me : We should name them
Me : I'm a vampire remember ;)
Commentary: I come back with the vampire theme because she references menstruation. Again I think this shows you're just cool with things women usually have to keep to themselves.
Her: What shall we name them?
Me : I'll have to look at them first to make a decision
Me : We have to take their physical form into consideration
Me : Butttt
Me : Thelma and Louise?
Commentary: Making it more sexual, pretty obvious.
I hit the shower, the rest is logistics texting.
Me : Just got out of the shower
Me : Text me when you are
All of this is done so that the transition between digital and physical is smooth. That's exactly what happens.
1.That's exactly what happens and the transition is SUPER smooth. We meet, I kiss her on the cheek and go straight into a state drill about the desk I built for myself in my room. 2minutes in and I'm touching her waist and her neck, leading her to the park I want to show her.
2. My vocals aren't great but I focus on other stuff like leading and the content of what I'm saying. The latter is very funny, I make her laugh a bunch of times, something that in the past would not happen to me very often.
3. In the park we talk on the bench. Can't remember about what. I'm stoking her arms and touching her neck the whole time.
4. We get up and I show her some boxing moves, I grab her and lift her, I make her try to climb a tree LOL.
5. We get ice cream and walk towards this isolated part of my neighborhood where the train tracks are. I say: If you're convinced I'm not going to murder you I know this really cool spot I'd like to show you.
6. We sit near the tracks for about 30minutes. There's a thunderstorm in the distance which makes it even more romantic and it starts to rain quite strongly. We get up and run towards my house. I make out with her in an alleyway in the middle of a conversation, and immediately resume it after. We arrive at my doorstep.
7. I don't ask anything, just make a statement that assumes she's going to come up. You'll see my apartment building has a lot of familities in it, there are strollers everywhere!
8. At my place I lead her by the hand in the dark, showing her my apartment.
9. I show her my room, then toss her on the bed.
10. We make out, she smiles and says No.
Sex:
I know exactly what she wants and I play along. I extend my pinky finger towards her.
ME: Let's pinky swear we won't have sex. That would be bad.
She agrees.
Our clothes are wet from the rain so I politely tell her she's being rude and that my bed sheets are getting wet because of her. We both comply.
I pin her down. She's laying on her stomach with the weight of my body on top of her. I massage her for a while.
Her: You're good at massaging.
Me: My grandma taught me how.
I massage her harder and harder, I start nibbling on her neck.
My mouthpiece goes off.
ME: I don't want you to be able to move. I'm going to do whatever I want with your body. You have a lovely voice but I haven't heard you moan and shriek yet...
She replies with sounds or incomplete yes's.
ME: Tell me we're not going to have sex.
Her: We're not going to have sex.
Say it again. She complies.
ME: Sex woud be bad, and we're good kids. We don't have sex on first dates. Repeat it.
She does.
ME: If we had sex I'd have to punish you for being so bad. You wouldn't want that would you?
Her: How would you punish me?
I tell her to get up and we go in a corner of my room.
ME: I'd put you in the corner and have you take a time-out for being so naughty. You'd have to recite your rosary prayers while I watched you.
I turn her around.
ME: I'd have to punish you further since you really need to understand.
I usher her downwards so she's on her knees. I grab her by the throat.
ME:I'd have to introduce you to my collegue who does the harsher discipline.
Her: Who?
My dick comes out, throbbing and full of blood.
ME: Introduce yourself. (got this from MW as well ;) )
She goes at it like a maniac, pulling me into her, she tries putting it all the way in but can't. I let her do her thing until I get close to coming and then tell her to stand up. I have her bend over my bed. I take her panties off.
ME: Repeat after me. I'm not gonna fuck you.
Her: You're not gonna fuck me.
ME: I'm not gonna put my dick inside you right now.
Her: You're not gonna put your dick inside me right now.
ME: I'm not gonna fuck you raw.
Her: You're not gonna fuck me raw.
Me: We met 2 hours ago I'm not gonna fuck you without a condom.
Her: You met me 2 hours ago you're not gonna fuck me without a condom.
Me: It's your body, I'm not allowed to fuck it whenever and however I want.
Her: It's my body, you're not allowed to fuck it whenever and however you want.
Me: I'm not allowed.
Her: You're not allowed.
The rest is a series of grunts, thrusts, moans, shrieks, muffled sounds, choking sounds, asphyxiation experiments, spanking, gurgling, slapping, pulling, and bed rocking which I will not describe.
After all, we didn't have sex. That would have been bad.
*I saw her again the following day, I had hurt my leg and she came over to nurture her warrior back into health :)
*I asked if she was on Birth Control
hahahahahahha - wow, i'm impressed. You just start training w manpenis?
hahahahahahha - wow, i'm impressed. You just start training w manpenis?
Yeah I'm on week3.
I've been going out prior though so I have some experience under my belt.
I like dat use of MW Text Displayer ver. 2 ;)
Hey what's up with the later uses of it? The Me: parts aren't color coded? That the app acting screwy?
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
I like dat use of MW Text Displayer ver. 2 ;)Hey what's up with the later uses of it? The Me: parts aren't color coded? That the app acting screwy?
Yeah I typed it up myself. The app had downloaded all of my texts but not hers for some reason :/
*edit: send me my drills :P
Hmm that's supposed to be very temporary. Try uploading the convo to your profile again it should do it correctly now
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Is the convo uploading correctly now?
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Still has glitches. Part of the convo uploaded where we both talk, parts are only her texts.
Ok great, thanks. What's your mobile android version and phone carrier company? We're troubleshooting
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Lol that’s awesome man, well done. Good analysis of your text game already. When you get exposure to all of this stuff it’s easy to want to just throw it all in there, since it’s so much fun to use. Just keep in mind that using any of that stuff likely makes you wayyyyyyyyy more intriguing than 99% of the guys texting her right now, so you don’t have to overuse the big guns constantly, just sprinkle it in and you will do great
Lol that’s awesome man, well done. Good analysis of your text game already. When you get exposure to all of this stuff it’s easy to want to just throw it all in there, since it’s so much fun to use. Just keep in mind that using any of that stuff likely makes you wayyyyyyyyy more intriguing than 99% of the guys texting her right now, so you don’t have to overuse the big guns constantly, just sprinkle it in and you will do great
I'm dropping bombs in this bish.
But yeah, good advice lol.