LR: Grad student off of OKCupid, almost cockblocked by "The Patriarchy"
We started messaging a few weeks ago. She's got a busy life with school, teaching, and side jobs so it took a while to arrange a meetup.
Some of the texts I sent set this up to happen the way it did. Here are two that contributed.
First meetup attempt I proposed a study break and she replied:
Her: I'm kind of swamped, don't think I can make it up to XXXXXX
Me: Ok I'll bring a bottle of wine over. White or red
Her: Wow ok
Me: What you don't like wine
Her: Ha thats not it
There were lots of other texts in between.
And then a few days later:
Me: Had to rough up the vending machine at work today. My tropical skittles were stuck on the edge at the final turn. Not anymore muahahahaha
Her: What are you trying to turn me on?
Her: I usually just slap the machine uselessly, hopelessly.
Me: Assuming we could tolerate each other, I would manhandle your lil ass. And maybe even if we couldn't
Her: How tall are you?
Her: I'm also around this Saturday
So we made plans to grab a cocktail or two.
Friday afternoon I sent her this:
Me: So do you wanna meet up tomorrow night..if not I have a date
Me: (5mins later) with True Detective season 2
Her: Whoa ok I understand
Her: Um yeah!
Her: Like for a drink or whatever
I told her I would pick her up last night (haven't done this in YEARS) and get drinks near her place (she lives in a cool neighborhood in the city with a bar I've been to before).
Picked her up, her street is an alley basically and this other car was blocking it. So after she hopped in I had to reverse it about 40m out of the alley. Drove 3 blocks haha. Parked. Walked a block to the bar. Weird crowd. Fat hipsters and shit.
The only remaining table had 3 chairs at it, she picked the chair on one side and me on the opposite. There was a third chair in between those two but it was in the aisle and I didn't want to get bumped. So we were sitting with this table in between us at a loud venue and I didn't like it from the beginning.
She is beautiful and full of girly energy so I wasn't worried about that. We made smalltalk and then the server came over. This "woman" was a fat, clown-faced hipster with a huge herpes sore on her lip. She talked to us like fat annoying women talk to toddlers in that cloying momma-baby voice. When she brought our drinks over she lingered. My drink was terrible. The next time she came over I told her so.
This is when things got weird.
My date started talking about the Evil Patriarchy and how its all around us all the time. Then she started asking me all of these interrogation style questions and being dumb, looking for reasons to not like me and twist my words. I tried calling her out on it but that didn't work and she increased her anxious energy to a fever pitch. She was preparing herself to torpedo this date and then blame it on me.
And she would have had every right to do so because I wasn't taking responsibility and fixing everything. The night started off well and I knew she was excited to meet me and pleased that I was handsome in person. But I had upset her and so she was searching for every reason she could not to like me. She kept talking about the Patriarchy and how she needs a guy to line up with her ideologically, but it was clear that's the opposite of what I wanted. Any attempts at appeasement on my part made it worse. She started saying that we should probably part ways and good luck but you're not it, etc.
So I just said fuck it.
I switched chairs so that I was in the one that was in the aisle, and now was sitting next to her. I moved my chair so our legs were touching and put my hand on her arm. She flinched and leaned away from me. I locked eye contact. She tried to look away and keep babbling on but she couldn't put words together to form a sentence, tried again, laughed at herself, said outloud that she couldn't think straight and I made her lose her train of thought, started giggling, told me she was nervous, then relaxed and leaned back in towards me.
We went back to talking about normal shit and telling stories. I ordered another drink. She was back to being girly and fun.
I decided I was hungry and told her to take me somewhere with good food. I kissed on the way there. Once there the menu was too try hard and goofy so after sitting down and looking it over I said "We're leaving" and just got up and left. She followed a few steps behing me with this look on her face.
We went to a different place a block from her house. I got some food. She ate half of my fries.
Afterwards we were walking in the direction of her place and we kind of ended up on her alley and she asked if I wanted to come in.
Oh lawdy was she wet.
Afterwards we were talking and I brought up the Patriarchy issue and told her she was being dumb. She knew she was acting up but didn't know why. She told me she would have been mad if I had left when she told me it wasn't working out.
Man how do you find online dating, shit never works for me lolz