LR: Video Games and Vagina al le carte
i love it when i see younger girls going after what they want instead of waiting around like an old fashioned fuck-wit, and also keeping their dating options open by seeing multiple people. too many of them are after the fairytale story about finding their one true soul mate. this chick (24) has her head screwed on, even tells me about other tinder dates and a guy she's kind of seeing. good for her! I always tell my pulls, dates, fwbs and flings to put themselves out there more and to be more aggressive. slut it up, ladies - life's short, don't spend it pretending you're not freaky. ;)
Her: Hi :) getting up to anything exciting this weekend? (looking pretty good for a 111 year old btw haha).
Me: Why thankyou. i only ingest the tears of my enemies. it keeps me young ;P
Me: I'm looking for a cute girl who looks great in tights to be my side kick. think you can handle the job? ;)
Her: helping out a pretty lady kick some butt, i think i can manage that ;P what do you do for work exactly? :)
Me: good. i will be putting those legs to work ;)
me: doin sales n catering stuff at the moment. still jumping through hoops to get into the army. green is my colour ya know ;)
me: what about you? studying? teaching orphans? *halo emjoi*
Her: well you look great in uniform from your pic n_n. at the moment i work in IT policy (just a public servant haha). definatley done with studing for a little while!! also, i have lost my voice atm but when i'm not sick i would love to meet you. do you work every weekend usually?
Her: my numver is 6969696969bangbang
usually it's me making us swtich to text lol
Me: is this the powerpuff girl hotline??!!
Me: some cutie gave me her number over tinder. she might be a spy
Me: no i dont work all weekend usually lol. just saturgays
Me: since youre a public servant i kinda assume you spend sungay evening crying at the pub. monday is always the hardest. i gotchu bubby, it's ok.
her: [custom powerpuff girl pic]
Her: haha nah my job is alright... if i told you any more i'd have to kill you ;P But seeing you on a sunday would still be a huge bonus n_n have you seen beauty and the beast yet?
Her: also your name on tinder, shikorahsaurus, i'm imagining it's a mix of shikorah and t-rex? :)
Me: my real name is t-rex, but i go by shikorah to seem cool
Me: i dont know about you trying to kill me. I'm highly trained and can wrestle you to the ground in an instant.
Me: what are you up to frigay night, kitten
Me: FYI im a bit touchy about my whole fambly being extinct so dont ask me any dinosaur questions when i see you
Her: ah that would make sense given your age. I'm sure T-Rex was a common name back in your time. Well you're assuming I'd be honourable enough and take you on face to face in combat. There's always poison, snipers, or the classic: poison-snipers. hahahaha. Hmm fridayyy. Assuming I survive and am better I'll be meeting up with you *wink kiss emoki*
Me: well girl will be patting you down for weapons when i get my hands on you. i have a duty to protect the public too.
Me: 8pm work for you?
Me: I'm going to destroy you at games at [games and cocktail bar] *arm flex emjoi* so prepare for spanks
Me: and hankies if you're still sick, bubby
a day passes without response. i wonder if she doesn't know anything about the venue i mentioned and if that's stalled her. either that or she's busy.
me: [random funny meme]
Her: hey lovely lady, sorry i hadn't messaged back. just been caught up with things n_n Yes 8pm is cool x
her: [sends pic of a puppy dressed as a stegasarus facing off with a t-rex toy]
Me: is that your poison sniper armed savage dog headed stegsaurus that youll be riding into battle on. dang.
Me: i'll have to sharpen my t-rex teeth. they nibble through everything.
Me: i'm eating banana bread right now without you. yeah... get jealous.
Her: awwww, is it taosted banana bread?
Me: so toasted. so goooood.
Her: definitely jealous now haha So we're meeting at [venue i mentioned]... what games are you into ;)
and that i miss that sexual bait because i'm dumb, apparently. lol
Me: ill warn you you now that im pretty annoying at fighting games
Me: what about you? human landmine chess? ;p
me: i gotta get back to work. talk to ya in a bitty
Her: annoying because you don't let anyone else win ;) haha im more of an RPG, openworld sorta gal. i tend to squeal when a game gets intense hahaha. PArticularly anything PvP. i'm told it's highly entertaining. Human landmine chess *crying laughing emoji*
Me: i try to let people win but they don't want it enough.
Me: you're winning me over with that squealing thing. it's cute.
Me: i hope you make mean pancakes too
sprinkling a bit of daddyjihad glittermagic
Her: if you're lucky you'll find out ;) I just saw Beauty and the Beast. I love Emma Watson so much! I was worried she wouldn't be the right Belle but she so was *heart* Hope I didn't wake you :) excited to see you tomorrow n_n
I really could have used teh belle/beast fantasy in my texting more. funnily enough, i was using it in a different conversation with another girl because she shortens her full name to bel. realised it would have been well placed with this little disney munchkin too.
Me: haha good. that movie had the potential to ruin a lot of peoples childhoods if it was bad lol.
Me: make sure you're in your belle costume tonight, so i know who to kidnap and take back to the castle
me: you better be warming up your gamer thumbs
Me: [pic of thumb with tiny dumbbells] i have tiny thumb bells
Her: hehehehe n_n well I've sure been doing plently of typing so far today! go easy on my though ;P
Me: hahaha yeah i gotchu bubby
Her: heya still good for 8 or wanna meet up a bit earlier? x
Me: yeah 8 is kewl, just got home
Me: im drenched in awesome
Me: it'll take ages to scrub off in the shower
Her: don't have too much fun without me xP
Me: mmmm so good. didn't get to all those tight spots in my back though. dunno if you and rubber ducky are up for teh challenge ;P
me: on my way my pritty
Her: see you soon n_n
Me: beast just parked. wouldve sooner but the sidewalk was occupies
Her: no prob. i'll be practising :P
And you know what, why go waste a few hours watching beauty and the beast when you can be living the R rated version?!
I liked the texting a lot. She seemed like lots of fun and you definitely brought the best out of her :P
"I don't kiss, I claim and fuck her mouth with mine.
This is spicy shiki - You sexy
Except when you send your ninjas down to fuck with me.
I wasn't ready then but I am now. Send your best. They're no match for me.
Yo post this to the FB group please Shikkie Licky.