Most Ridiculous Lay report of all time
This shit would basically come right out of a movie! I'm been texting this 18 year old model whose number I got from tinder. After some texting I end up going down to her apartemnt at 1am. We start hooking up and she tells me she's not having sex. I'm like that's cool. 5 minutes later she's completely dtf. She tells me to grab a condom and I comply. She goes to the washroom, I have to take a piss too. After she finished I go in and she asks if she can watch, wtf lol! I say okay and she basically watches me taking a piss (weird). We go back to her room and she says put the condom on. Naturally, I need sex to happen very gradually. This feels super contrived so I'm not at all hard.
She then says, why aren't you hard. I tell her to give me a few minutes and let's go back to making out. Then she's like I want you to fuck me right now. None of this is helping my situation lol. I tell her I need to relax and chill and then I'll be ready. She is about as obtuse as any girl I have ever met.
The idea that possibly I get a bit anxious when she asks me to throw the condom on out of nowhere and then asks why my dick isn't hard is beyond her. Funny enogh, I am as chill as I have ever been. Eckhart Tolle has been paying off big time. I am completely in the moment and unidentifed with my mind.
As I explain to her the concept of performance anxiety she invariably questions my sexuality and tells me I'm gay. I realize that this girl is not on the same page and her ego is too fragile to ever understand. I conisder getting my clothes on and leaving becuase frankly she's not worth it.
But fuck it! Here's what unfolds...
Me - So basically the first time hookign up with a girl, I can get a bit anxious and have a hard time getting it up. I need to take things slow you know and not rush into it. It's nothing about you, it's all in my head
Her - You're gay, Just admit it, you're gay
Me - No, I'm actually into girls and have sex quite often. It's just performance anxiety, it's very common
Her - Just tell me Greg. I wont judge you, you're gay
Me - Yeah, I'm gay
Her - Omg, I knew it! Why did you come over here then
Me - I wanted to give it one last chance with a girl. I just want to be normal
Her - I'm so sorry! I love you, we can be best friends and if you still want to try having sex then it's okay with me :)
Me - Okay, I appreicate that
THen BAMMMM! The pressure is off and I'm hard as a rock! I shove it in her and bang her all night. She also felt like a million bucks because according to her a gay guy got off by her.
Seems like a high risk play to pretend to be gay but i could be wrong. Either way its an epic story lol.
HAHA! That's fuckin funny! Seriously lmfao right now!
Yeah this can be a good tactic for busting through LMR. And even for pulling
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
haha there needs to be a warning on this sucker.. something like, **Don't pull this move if you're in college!!**
^ arguably for any social circle game.
Do any of you guys notice that some guys who are REALLY REALLY good with women have like... a peppering of gay in their personality? You know they're not gay, but they're in touch with a feminine side. It's mostly personified in their voice. Manwhore does it. It's really tough to describe. Almost like a drawling inflection. That's the best way I can describe it.
It's not breaking rapport tonality, even though that is there.
lol it totally depends- some def. do, others don't.... I've seen both.
But telling a girl you're flat-out gay and that you just want one more fuck is a BALLS as shit move, so props to OP for that
Do any of you guys notice that some guys who are REALLY REALLY good with women have like... a peppering of gay in their personality? You know they're not gay, but they're in touch with a feminine side. It's mostly personified in their voice. Manwhore does it. It's really tough to describe. Almost like a drawling inflection. That's the best way I can describe it.It's not breaking rapport tonality, even though that is there.
Masculine flamboyance brahhh
I think it's more of a sense of being free spirited, which is something we see in chicks a lot. I totally get what your saying though
Yeah I've been trying to excise it for years. It's tough. But hey, this ain't a forum it's a buffet line. What are we serving up today in the man department!
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
*lisp* I'll have some of that delicious ham... please and thank youuuu. Don't forget the gravyyy. MMM. So good, I could take a bath in it. Fill up water balloons full of it and throw them at peopllle.
*lisp* I'll have some of that delicious ham... please and thank youuuu. Don't forget the gravyyy. MMM. So good, I could take a bath in it. Fill up water balloons full of it and throw them at peopllle.
lmao
So are you going to keep fucking this girl as the "gay friend"? This girl will be totally comfortable around you now that she thinks youre gay. You could probably get her to do some crazy ass shit in bed. Threesomes also just became a super valid option.
^ Omg. Totally. Pull the threesome card this will definitely go down
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
^ Omg. Totally. Pull the threesome card this will definitely go down
Yah I'm planning on banging her some more! She sounds like she really needs some good fucking.
I'll definitely start bringing up and talking about the theresome.
Although she's oging to start to get suspcious about whether I'm gay or not. I might have to play it off like I'm bisexual or something and usually am not into girls but i'm into her. If I told her I was fully straight that would definitely blow up in my face.
Well first of all it wouldn't blow up in your face. At all. That's a strange concern honestly so take a look at that. That's founded on an old belief system that shouldn't be there. A childish fear of.. what?
If you want to keep playing this gayme you can easily swing into some kind of, "Yeah I'm gay but I've always wonderered what it would be like to fuck two girls at the same time. Maybe it would be enough to turn me straight??"
She'll be like..
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Well first of all it wouldn't blow up in your face. At all. That's a strange concern honestly so take a look at that. That's founded on an old belief system that shouldn't be there. A childish fear of.. what?If you want to keep playing this gayme you can easily swing into some kind of, "Yeah I'm gay but I've always wonderered what it would be like to fuck two girls at the same time. Maybe it would be enough to turn me straight??"
She'll be like..
Thanks MW! Needed to hear that. I have to hold the fucking frame
Models are defo nymphomaniacs. I love em. Do you think maybe you were nervous? Def talk to her about threesomes. Start the convo with have you ever kissed another girl. depending on her reaction take it from there. I definitely wanna hear more to this story!