my text game is horrendous! Critique please...
Sat, 05/18/2013 - 21:12
Hey everyone. I just joined this forum and looking to get my text game flowing like wine. I'm living in LA so if anyone wants to meet up or go out shoot me a message. Now on to the good stuff. First off, my text game is beyond bad. Like everytime I send a text I reread it and am just like WTF dude that what are you doing? My main problem in my eyes is that all my convos lack a sexual vibe. They're all very logical and to the point. I care too much about saying something stupid so I end up just playing it safe and all the convos eventually die off. It's a nightmare :). Currently I'm texting two girls. Here is what I got so far... (I lost my phone and got a new one so the beginning of each convo is gone)
Anya (met at the bar and is a nurse I believe...I'd say she's a solid 7 and initial interaction went quite well)
Me: Hey I lost my phone last night and just got a new one. Who is this?
Her: Anya. In LA and your phone gets lost? Oh man!
Me: 1 lost phone, 1 towed vehicle, 2 $58 parking tickets...clearly LA does not want me here! So what's the plan for tonight birthday girl?
Her: Haha you are messing up! I'm going to dinner soon then planning on hitting up some bars on sunset after. Have you heard of Happy Endings?
Me: No I will not go to a strip club with you
Her: Looks like someone has a dirty mind. Its a bar silly
Me: Ahhh gotcha :) I think we are going to bungalow...you should come
Her: Hmmm im in sm now so its a possibility
Me: You absolutely should (this is a horrible response imo)
Her: (the next day) so how was your bungalow experience?
Me: No bueno. We ended up going to 3110 which was pretty good. Your presence was missed (why the fuck did I say you presence was missed??? (God I suck!)
Her: (4 days later) I'm still curious about last weeks shenanigans. When do i get to hear the full story?
Me: We may have to do a pink taco reunion in order to give you a full run down...possibly a happy hour saturday?
Her: Well if thats what it takes to hear your stories then a happy hour is in order!
Me: Love it...I'll give you a buzz on saturday :)
Her: oh man, my best friend is flying in from san fran on saturday...anyway youd be free tomorrow?
Me: Choosing your BFF over me? So not cool...ya tonight works. I can do around 7 if that works
Her: Lo siento but my bff is pretty awesome! Lets plan for 7 then
Her: Ok so i kinda have a problem with my driving situation. would you be down to hit up somewhere in santa monica?
Me: You're so demanding...you have to wear something extra cute though. Where we headed miss Anya?
that was the last text I sent. Once 6pm rolled around and I didn't get a response I went to happy hour with my roomate and said fuck it. She called me at 7:30 and asked if I was coming and I said she never texted me back and she said she did so somehow her text didn't go through. Anyway, we rescheduled for sunday happy hour so I'll let you know how it goes. This chick is definitely into me but I'm giving off way too much of a boyfriend vibe instead of a I'm going to fuck you and never call you again so be thankful you got my cock once bitch vibe. I want the latter vibe!
Kristen (met at a bar and is a solid 8. She's a model/actress but who isn't out here and I think I want this one too bad to be honest. Not sure why because LA has SO MANY hot chicks it's insane!)
Her: 2:35 am (this is halfway through the convo as my phone got lost. I was supposed to text her about getting sushi on saturday) No shout, no sushi...sad
Me: 3am I'm at mel's diner right now...I reserved us a table. And the shouting and sushi was for sunday :)
Her: 3am sunday is a much better day all around...I love mel's, see if I was there right now chocolate low fat milkshakes would be flowing like wine
Me: 3:16am low fat and milkshakes just don't mix. yes keep sunday funday open for sushi :) (here I set myself up for date/boyfriend mode which is a huge mistake imo)
Her: next day 1pm Tell that to mel's diner...they're phenomenal
Me: 2:43pm Have you heard of kakana? My roomate said its the bomb diggity
Her: 3:04pm Mmmm were talking sushi now, no I haven't but I am quite adventurous (I feel this was a great opportunity to turn it sexual but I didn't)
Her: 1min later My favorite is OMI
Me: 3:33pm Adventurous is always good :) How's 7:30 at kakana sound?
Her: 5:04pm Calm down sir lol :) we meeting there or are you picking me up? (I don't know why she told me to calm down here?)
Me: 5:37pm I guess I can be a gentleman this one time. I'll swing by at 7:15ish. What's your address? PS it's strictly celine deon in my whip :)
Her: 9:03pm Hey! I just noticed I hadn't sent you my address...we're you still wanting to go? (after that text she called me and I agreed to still go. she was drinking at the pool most of the day and fell asleep)
Me: 9:29pm I'm outside
at this point we go on a date and it goes pretty well but I don't escalate enough even though the green light is on. She ends up telling me how she's a broke actress and needs another job and I tell her it's easy to make an extra $2k/month if you're not retarded and she asks if she can work for me haha. I have now put myself in a horrible position and say sure. I run an e-commerce business. Why did I do this to myself?? Like this is so fucking beta and loserish I want to throw my computer against the wall right now. Anyways on to the last bit of texting...
Her: next day 8:48am (I told her to come up with a # for how much she needs to make extra per month) 2,500...see what you'e done, you've put my brain into over drive
Me: 1:32pm $2500 eh? Ok that's doable. We'll get you going at the beginning of June. I hope you've got the hustlers mentality :)
Her: 2:47pm Awesome :) thank you killaB
Me: 4 days later 12pm did you crush it last night? (why did I wait 4 days??? Also I'm referring to her opening night for her play. Good god I'm so in the fuckin supplier/friend zone at this point)
Her: 3:51pm Of course :)
Me: 6:02pm we are at pink taco...get over here
That was yesterday...all advice and critiquing would be much appreciated. If I can get out of boyfriend mode and start being more of a dominant pimp my cock will for sure be wet most nights of the week!! Please help me gents!
PS I keep changing the text color to blue and red but it's not taking...what am i doing wrong here? Or is it showing up as blue and red for you guys? I feel like a moron haha
Anya (met at the bar and is a nurse I believe...I'd say she's a solid 7 and initial interaction went quite well)
Me: Hey I lost my phone last night and just got a new one. Who is this?
Her: Anya. In LA and your phone gets lost? Oh man!
Me: 1 lost phone, 1 towed vehicle, 2 $58 parking tickets...clearly LA does not want me here! So what's the plan for tonight birthday girl?
Her: Haha you are messing up! I'm going to dinner soon then planning on hitting up some bars on sunset after. Have you heard of Happy Endings?
Me: No I will not go to a strip club with you
Her: Looks like someone has a dirty mind. Its a bar silly
Me: Ahhh gotcha :) I think we are going to bungalow...you should come
Her: Hmmm im in sm now so its a possibility
Me: You absolutely should (this is a horrible response imo)
Her: (the next day) so how was your bungalow experience?
Me: No bueno. We ended up going to 3110 which was pretty good. Your presence was missed (why the fuck did I say you presence was missed??? (God I suck!)
Her: (4 days later) I'm still curious about last weeks shenanigans. When do i get to hear the full story?
Me: We may have to do a pink taco reunion in order to give you a full run down...possibly a happy hour saturday?
Her: Well if thats what it takes to hear your stories then a happy hour is in order!
Me: Love it...I'll give you a buzz on saturday :)
Her: oh man, my best friend is flying in from san fran on saturday...anyway youd be free tomorrow?
Me: Choosing your BFF over me? So not cool...ya tonight works. I can do around 7 if that works
Her: Lo siento but my bff is pretty awesome! Lets plan for 7 then
Her: Ok so i kinda have a problem with my driving situation. would you be down to hit up somewhere in santa monica?
Me: You're so demanding...you have to wear something extra cute though. Where we headed miss Anya?
that was the last text I sent. Once 6pm rolled around and I didn't get a response I went to happy hour with my roomate and said fuck it. She called me at 7:30 and asked if I was coming and I said she never texted me back and she said she did so somehow her text didn't go through. Anyway, we rescheduled for sunday happy hour so I'll let you know how it goes. This chick is definitely into me but I'm giving off way too much of a boyfriend vibe instead of a I'm going to fuck you and never call you again so be thankful you got my cock once bitch vibe. I want the latter vibe!
Kristen (met at a bar and is a solid 8. She's a model/actress but who isn't out here and I think I want this one too bad to be honest. Not sure why because LA has SO MANY hot chicks it's insane!)
Her: 2:35 am (this is halfway through the convo as my phone got lost. I was supposed to text her about getting sushi on saturday) No shout, no sushi...sad
Me: 3am I'm at mel's diner right now...I reserved us a table. And the shouting and sushi was for sunday :)
Her: 3am sunday is a much better day all around...I love mel's, see if I was there right now chocolate low fat milkshakes would be flowing like wine
Me: 3:16am low fat and milkshakes just don't mix. yes keep sunday funday open for sushi :) (here I set myself up for date/boyfriend mode which is a huge mistake imo)
Her: next day 1pm Tell that to mel's diner...they're phenomenal
Me: 2:43pm Have you heard of kakana? My roomate said its the bomb diggity
Her: 3:04pm Mmmm were talking sushi now, no I haven't but I am quite adventurous (I feel this was a great opportunity to turn it sexual but I didn't)
Her: 1min later My favorite is OMI
Me: 3:33pm Adventurous is always good :) How's 7:30 at kakana sound?
Her: 5:04pm Calm down sir lol :) we meeting there or are you picking me up? (I don't know why she told me to calm down here?)
Me: 5:37pm I guess I can be a gentleman this one time. I'll swing by at 7:15ish. What's your address? PS it's strictly celine deon in my whip :)
Her: 9:03pm Hey! I just noticed I hadn't sent you my address...we're you still wanting to go? (after that text she called me and I agreed to still go. she was drinking at the pool most of the day and fell asleep)
Me: 9:29pm I'm outside
at this point we go on a date and it goes pretty well but I don't escalate enough even though the green light is on. She ends up telling me how she's a broke actress and needs another job and I tell her it's easy to make an extra $2k/month if you're not retarded and she asks if she can work for me haha. I have now put myself in a horrible position and say sure. I run an e-commerce business. Why did I do this to myself?? Like this is so fucking beta and loserish I want to throw my computer against the wall right now. Anyways on to the last bit of texting...
Her: next day 8:48am (I told her to come up with a # for how much she needs to make extra per month) 2,500...see what you'e done, you've put my brain into over drive
Me: 1:32pm $2500 eh? Ok that's doable. We'll get you going at the beginning of June. I hope you've got the hustlers mentality :)
Her: 2:47pm Awesome :) thank you killaB
Me: 4 days later 12pm did you crush it last night? (why did I wait 4 days??? Also I'm referring to her opening night for her play. Good god I'm so in the fuckin supplier/friend zone at this point)
Her: 3:51pm Of course :)
Me: 6:02pm we are at pink taco...get over here
That was yesterday...all advice and critiquing would be much appreciated. If I can get out of boyfriend mode and start being more of a dominant pimp my cock will for sure be wet most nights of the week!! Please help me gents!
PS I keep changing the text color to blue and red but it's not taking...what am i doing wrong here? Or is it showing up as blue and red for you guys? I feel like a moron haha
Sun, 05/19/2013 - 01:19
#1
Hey killa you need to give me
Hey killa you need to give me a shorter version I'm not going to take the time to read through all that. I'm sure other guys will, I certainly won't
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Sun, 05/19/2013 - 06:32
#2
Holy fuck man. I read through
Holy fuck man. I read through the text convos and that was bad. These girls want it but you're coming off as a hardcore seller instead of a buyer. Be more smooth and tactful.
first text convo:
instead of saying "you absolutely should" (seller frame to the max) you could've said (you can tag along, if you can hang that is ;)" playful, but at the same time questioning her ability to be able to keep up with you. Start looking at every text interaction from this simple mindset for starters. Am I being the buyer or the seller?
And Jesus, that offering jobs to random hoes? Wtf man, I don't even....
first text convo:
instead of saying "you absolutely should" (seller frame to the max) you could've said (you can tag along, if you can hang that is ;)" playful, but at the same time questioning her ability to be able to keep up with you. Start looking at every text interaction from this simple mindset for starters. Am I being the buyer or the seller?
And Jesus, that offering jobs to random hoes? Wtf man, I don't even....
Mon, 05/20/2013 - 06:59
#3
haha thanks G-money I
haha thanks G-money I appreciate the feedback. Good food for thought and will definitely try and keep that frame in mind as being the buyer in future texts. Never thought of it like that but makes sense...
Mon, 05/20/2013 - 07:48
#4
Ok I found that part g-money
Ok I found that part g-money is referring to. You basically got stuck in a frame where she was running the frame! She was basically running the "date", and since you're a high value guy she of course steered the conversation and the vibe in the direction of you being able to give her something lol.
Ok I read up and got the rest of the story about this actress chick. I would like to read about how you set up the initial sushi idea. Was it at the bar or through text later on? If it was through text then I want to see the initial part of the text convo as you either obviously did something right, or something really wrong lol.
She said "calm down, sir" because your "adventurous is always good" was a pretty tight text and she was unconsciously aroused but didn't want the vibe going in that direction haha. It's obvious she had gotten the provider/boyfriend already and was trying to maintain it. Unfortunately your "gentleman" text was written quite well but in the overall context it just reinforced the "provider" role, LOL. That shit happens a lot actually. Dudes feel so clever about their texts only to realize later on it conveyed the wrong message. I'm not trying to instill doubt in you with that, the way to always stay on the right track is to: maintain the buyer frame, e.g. "I am the prize" and allow your text game to flow from that headspace.. while also making sure to keep yourself light-hearted and having fun in everything you do.
Don't kick your own ass over the "offering her a job" thing. Things were already so turned upside down you can't even blame yourself for falling into that ;) You need to develop conversational dominance, and probably need a much better take on male and female dynamics. A lot of guys adopt provider frames because they realize on a logical level that "alpha" behavior is what attracts women, but on an unconscious, engrained level, they still believe betaing themselves to women is what will get them access. This is why you find yourself judging your actions after the fact and not during.
Think of it in terms of Game Theory, that'll give you the reason why you're unconsciously doing it.
Ok I read up and got the rest of the story about this actress chick. I would like to read about how you set up the initial sushi idea. Was it at the bar or through text later on? If it was through text then I want to see the initial part of the text convo as you either obviously did something right, or something really wrong lol.
She said "calm down, sir" because your "adventurous is always good" was a pretty tight text and she was unconsciously aroused but didn't want the vibe going in that direction haha. It's obvious she had gotten the provider/boyfriend already and was trying to maintain it. Unfortunately your "gentleman" text was written quite well but in the overall context it just reinforced the "provider" role, LOL. That shit happens a lot actually. Dudes feel so clever about their texts only to realize later on it conveyed the wrong message. I'm not trying to instill doubt in you with that, the way to always stay on the right track is to: maintain the buyer frame, e.g. "I am the prize" and allow your text game to flow from that headspace.. while also making sure to keep yourself light-hearted and having fun in everything you do.
Don't kick your own ass over the "offering her a job" thing. Things were already so turned upside down you can't even blame yourself for falling into that ;) You need to develop conversational dominance, and probably need a much better take on male and female dynamics. A lot of guys adopt provider frames because they realize on a logical level that "alpha" behavior is what attracts women, but on an unconscious, engrained level, they still believe betaing themselves to women is what will get them access. This is why you find yourself judging your actions after the fact and not during.
Think of it in terms of Game Theory, that'll give you the reason why you're unconsciously doing it.
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Mon, 05/20/2013 - 17:07
#5
Manwhore wrote:A lot of guys
Manwhore wrote:
A lot of guys adopt provider frames because they realize on a logical level that "alpha" behavior is what attracts women, but on an unconscious, engrained level, they still believe betaing themselves to women is what will get them access. This is why you find yourself judging your actions after the fact and not during.
This is spot on. It's like I understand what alpha is and what it looks like, but my body is like "no dude you're beta, this is how you need to act".
Unfortunatley I don't have the initial part of the convo because I lost my phone and that shit got erased. Basically though I grabbed her number at a bar and started texting her. My initial text was along the lines of, "I have some more good stories for you if you think you can handle it". Then I went for the meetup on Friday night. She was working that night at a bar though so I said "No bueno. Well maybe we can grab some sushi or something...I'll give you a shout on Sunday". I don't think I did anything right in the initial text convo, but I do think that our initial face to face was really solid, so she wanted to meet up based on that.
What do you mean by "think of it in terms of game theory". Can you point me to anything that I can read about that?