Need help with this girl
Hello friends , I am new here .
I am here to share a story and also ask for help . So let's begin !
June 2017 : I was with an old friend at a party (María ,23yo ,blonde) she was in a relatioship and I thought she was happy but that night was drunk as hell .. I sat next to her (important: she is in wheelchair since her childhood) , immediately she started touching me and saying things like "I need a real men to make me forget my boyfriend" , minutes later she kissed me and I continued. But somehow I was shocked and ran away (literally , ran back home) . The next morning she texted me "Oh damn I am so sorry for the kiss , Do not hate me . I couldn't avoid it and I was drunk" . Since this point , I used to behave 100% beta mode.. like a 14yo teenager with those "ohh sweetheart , princess , i love u etc etc.." (I bet this is why the relationship is now dead).
Suprise ! 3 days later she asked me to hang out and have dinner.. She was really nervous and at the end she told me "I don't want a boyfriend , I am searching only for friends , only friends" . So okay , I went back home and forgot about the topic .
Only a week later I was in Finland visiting some friends and family (5000km away from this babe) , And I started receiving hearts and selfies from her , and also questions .. like: hey how are you doing , my traveller? :) . I was confused .. But I though it was normal. I was coming back to Spain , the last night in Finland she sends me a long text , basically saying : " I think I am ready to tell you , But we could try to date and see what happens , we only need love and that might bring a good relationship" DAMN SON ! I LITERALLY SPIT THE COFFEE !
Came back to our city ASAP and met her .. We used to kiss .. kiss a lot ,maybe for 3 hours . I made a mistake , she put my hand over her breasts .. My reaction ? I took my hand away , instead I took her hand .. and kissed it (yea like those gentlemans from the 40s) .. DAMN I WAS NERVOUS , I GET TOO ROMANTIC AND CHILDISH WHEN I AM NERVOUS . She looked a bit surprised/scared ...
The very next day , I got a text saying "we had to talk " basically told me she didn't felt ready so we were better as friends. I didn't accept and persisted for months being a romantic. This obviously crashed , and she told me one day " It is better we stay away from each other for a time" . (This was between August-September 2017)
October 2017 .. There we go , I realize the "romantic-sweetie" mode was even killing our friendship , So I switched to a "baddy teenager" mode .. I used to text her , at first she was like " Do you honestly think you are ready to talk again with me? " I said yes .. and she started saying stuff like "but only friends , no more" friends friends haha .. basically she started to add "friends" and "only" to the 90% of her sentences.
A powerful men woke up inside me , and I told her something like : yes but stop saying that , we are friends but you turn me on , so I might need to go further physically ,ok ?
When I sent this , I thought .. hahaha she will blocked me, I am a fool . More like the opposite , It worked. Things improved and got her interest back , acted that way for 2 weeks.. and 3 weeks later .. We had sex .. BOOM! I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT
I don't know what happened but I got nervous at bed .. and things ended rare , I couldn't ejaculate , my face was red , almost fainted.. I told her I was really nervous and this never happened to me before . She said "It was ok" but the next morning she told me it was better to stay away because some reasons she didn't specify ...
That day I was really fucked .. Problems at school , home , and now she says bye bye . So what happened ? I exploded . started saying rude and jealous stuff , trying to shock her . like "your ex-bf was an idiot , you only like idiots , go and found another one , but fuck off and stay away from me " , and the worst part " I have been losing my time with you , months of chatting and you disappear like a ghost , you are such a failed investment" ! she answered like : what? have you been using me ? friends don't expect things on exachange you are a fake person! .. that day I blocked her on whatsapp .
A week later unblocked her and apologised .. It was a disaster, this time she blocked me . Thanks to a friend , she unblocked me , and tried to apologize a month later (November).. Her reaction was neutral , she accepted the apologises but the conversation was cold .. hey , ok , glad to hear , ok , bye , thanks.
A week later tried to ask her , about what offended her so much .. she blocked me again after a long farewell text basically saying "my life is a mess and I have no time to lose ,good luck , enjoy life, focus on studies " .. Gotta remark she was going to the US for an experimental medical treatment and it was a HUGE hope for her , Days before the message she was rejected from the project .
This 31th December , was new years eve .. and also her bday ! I was blocked from all social media , so I sent her a Whatsapp using a secondary phone number from work . She appeared to be happy until she recognize me , saying " haha thank you so much whoever you are , best regars and kisses " , but then I told her it was me .. and the conversation cold down immediately . again the ok , bye , thanks ,ok ...
At least this time she didn't block me .. It was a rough conversation . Haven't tried to text her again since then ...
Now lets focus on this .. She doesn't want a relationship , either I want .. I just wanna be her friend with privileges , and I am ready .. Now I go to gym , I am stronger and my emotions are controlled.. How can I transmit this message to her ? My only gateway to her ,is via text .. and she doesn't look very open . She basically lost all her interest on me and thinks of me , as a weak , sweet and angry kid .. and I want to probe
her that I am a modern boy who can dominate and fuck her like a real man ...
Haha, shoulda pulled yo DICK OUT!
If you had done that who knows? Her ass could be tap dancing by now
I actually took my dick out and managed to fuck her as I mentioned before ... We were fuckbuddies. she lost all the interest the day later because the things I said to her ... She had a lot of interest on me , her phone was plenty of screenshots from my Instagram . I don't know how to re-gain her interest and confidence via text ..
Sinking ship dude. I’d move on
Sinking ship dude. I’d move on
Thumbs up for this. Let it go and find another girl!