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Joined: 11/02/2014

Girl doesn't want to meet up at my place on first date. this is my only opiton lol, i have no car and no money, horrible logistics i know but i leave in a month anyway, shes basiclly on the edge because she doesnt feel safe i guess, how can i reframe this in a way to convince her to meet up at my place? heres the convo on okcupid so far:

I do have one problem with the movie idea

Idk how comfortable I am going straight to your place first time we meet     (i never even mentioned meeting at my place yet)

What would make you feel comfortable

You wanna snap or add me on the Facebook to confirm I'm not some serial killing raper  (call back humor)

Ya but still, being at your place rather than a public place puts me in a very vulnerable position

I hope you wouldn't have that state of mind when we hangout

Or we could just go to dinner and a movie theater instead of your place

Not really a fan of the formal dinner movie date

Something else then, as long as it's something in public first lol 1:32pm

Or not :p   2:03pm

No I don't mind, im just not sure where to meet, winter kills all the fun. Way warmer inside

Ya true xD

We could go ice skating or bowling or something

I haven't responded yet, whats the best response to flip it?

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Joined: 01/18/2012
Holmes you're responding to

Holmes you're responding to her hesitation COMPLETELY wrong. Derp. You're validating it and emotionally channeling things in the wrong direction. Plus you just sound like a approval-seeking beyotch with the way you're trying to placate her, no offense. Got to tease her and qualify her.. change her mood, not her mind.

Idk how comfortable I am going straight to your place first time we meet  

Pssh. I'm the one that's scared you're probably a 52 yr old dude who doesn't own any pants :p 

I mean, that's an example text/frame you want to go with, but your mindset behind this whole thing is FUCKED, you got to make that inner transition or you'll constantly default back to chode. 

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chrisjr00's picture
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Joined: 11/14/2014
Do that Jon says or just take

Do that Jon says or just take her somewhere near by for 30mins and once she is comfortable bring her home.

^^^^

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Joined: 01/18/2012
chrisjr00 wrote: Do that Jon

chrisjr00 wrote:
Do that Jon says or just take her somewhere near by for 30mins and once she is comfortable bring her home.

^^^^

Yep that works as well, but it's sort of a band-aid to the problem. He's masking the fact he's sort of strongly reactive to this chick, so even if he manages to handle this problem she's still going to end up testing him in a way he won't be able to handle. 

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information