No Contact. Now what?
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 16:24
Hey all, this is my first post on Manwhore forums. I am stoked and hope I can contribute at a later point, instead of asking for help.
Anyways, at the moment I feel like I'm in a weird spot. I've been texting this girl, we go out to an event that is all upscale. To make a long story short I blew it haha. I texted her that I was sorry for ruining her night and that she deserved better (note that I was plastered when I wrote that, but I still belief that she does deserve better, it wasn't out of trying to get something.) Anyways, I asked when she was free to talk about it, I asked her her schedule and she basically kept avoiding it.
Telling me that I didn't ruin her night and that she doesn't want me feeling bad.
I end up having massive one-itis and I figure that enough is enough. I stopped texting and I even deleted her number. Now three days later, she texts me in the morning asking if I still wanted to talk. My question is, what the fuck should I do? It's funny, as soon as I delete the number and try to forget, she then texts me first. God damn it.
Anyways, at the moment I feel like I'm in a weird spot. I've been texting this girl, we go out to an event that is all upscale. To make a long story short I blew it haha. I texted her that I was sorry for ruining her night and that she deserved better (note that I was plastered when I wrote that, but I still belief that she does deserve better, it wasn't out of trying to get something.) Anyways, I asked when she was free to talk about it, I asked her her schedule and she basically kept avoiding it.
Telling me that I didn't ruin her night and that she doesn't want me feeling bad.
I end up having massive one-itis and I figure that enough is enough. I stopped texting and I even deleted her number. Now three days later, she texts me in the morning asking if I still wanted to talk. My question is, what the fuck should I do? It's funny, as soon as I delete the number and try to forget, she then texts me first. God damn it.
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 19:04
#1
Welcome brother!The
Welcome brother!
The question is what must you do to feel deserving of this girl? Despite her reaching out at you after you cut off contact, things won't stay "good"for long with your overall state of being. If you want to date this girl, or even just fuck her you must accept that you are worthy of her. From my experience, one-itis makes you feel as if this girl is what you need to "complete" yourself. The girl is often exactly what your looking for, and you end up just investing way to much in her.
This is a little quick fix for you to give you some self worth; write a list of some small goals you can achieve TODAY. Wether its goin hard at the gym, building something, cleaning the house, do activities that make you feel content with yourself. Everyone feels good after a productive day. Once you feel like you got all your shit done, be chill and hit this girl up. Keep it short and sweet, and set up a date. just be like " Hey how have you been? Sorry we haven't talked lately I've be awfully busy ughh". Mingle a bit, and then say something along the lines of " Hey i gotta run, I'm (heading to the gym, writing a paper, ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE) lets meet up (sometime within the next few days). Now I want you to make it routine until you see this chick, TO GET SHIT DONE. Stay busy, and by the time the date comes you will feel extremely content and centered. You will know you deserve this chick, and she will feel it.
and remember, regardless of what happens it doesn't matter. This is just one girl out of the billions out there
The question is what must you do to feel deserving of this girl? Despite her reaching out at you after you cut off contact, things won't stay "good"for long with your overall state of being. If you want to date this girl, or even just fuck her you must accept that you are worthy of her. From my experience, one-itis makes you feel as if this girl is what you need to "complete" yourself. The girl is often exactly what your looking for, and you end up just investing way to much in her.
This is a little quick fix for you to give you some self worth; write a list of some small goals you can achieve TODAY. Wether its goin hard at the gym, building something, cleaning the house, do activities that make you feel content with yourself. Everyone feels good after a productive day. Once you feel like you got all your shit done, be chill and hit this girl up. Keep it short and sweet, and set up a date. just be like " Hey how have you been? Sorry we haven't talked lately I've be awfully busy ughh". Mingle a bit, and then say something along the lines of " Hey i gotta run, I'm (heading to the gym, writing a paper, ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE) lets meet up (sometime within the next few days). Now I want you to make it routine until you see this chick, TO GET SHIT DONE. Stay busy, and by the time the date comes you will feel extremely content and centered. You will know you deserve this chick, and she will feel it.
and remember, regardless of what happens it doesn't matter. This is just one girl out of the billions out there
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 20:25
#2
Thanks for the input Meow. I
Thanks for the input Meow. I like your idea about writing down tasks and then following through. That will help for sure with innergame.
I honestly think I shouldn't even bother texting her. The fact that she texts me three days later, and when I told her I wanted to talk to her and even asked her scheduel and she gave no clear indication then I think I shouldn't even bother. Is she only asking me this now because, she wants validation? Or is she bored? Or I'm just putting myself down for even thinking that.
Like I said, I deleted her number and I fear that if I try to do anything with her then I will fall back into one-itis. School semester is almost over too.
Anyone have any other thoughts?
I honestly think I shouldn't even bother texting her. The fact that she texts me three days later, and when I told her I wanted to talk to her and even asked her scheduel and she gave no clear indication then I think I shouldn't even bother. Is she only asking me this now because, she wants validation? Or is she bored? Or I'm just putting myself down for even thinking that.
Like I said, I deleted her number and I fear that if I try to do anything with her then I will fall back into one-itis. School semester is almost over too.
Anyone have any other thoughts?
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 20:48
#3
Yo man why are you getting
Yo man why are you getting drunk and turning into needy approval seeking hooker balls? Do not EVER write a text like that to a girl again. You're looking for a "woman", not a mother figure to feel sorry for you and what.. give you pity pussy? It does not exist. Stop that
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 05:07
#4
to give more context, it was
to give more context, it was a Frat formal. I asked her to be my date she accepted. I pregamed WAY to hard and basically blacked out and puked my brains out in the bathroom stall at the formal. I felt terrible that I did that, obviously because, she was my date and I had to be a mess and fuck it all up.
I wasn't trying to be needy about it. But what would you do in my situation? Drop it? Or take her asking me if I still want to talk as interest? Fluff talk and then scheduel meet?
I wasn't trying to be needy about it. But what would you do in my situation? Drop it? Or take her asking me if I still want to talk as interest? Fluff talk and then scheduel meet?
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 05:09
#5
Just COMPLETELY get over the
Just COMPLETELY get over the fact you barfed. Doesn't matter. Shit happens who cares. Laugh at it, reframe it in your mind and do not think of it as you fucking up. A boss wouldn't, you want to be the boss. Hit her up per usual
Why'd you drink so much? Was it your frat buddies? Were you nervous about the date?
Why'd you drink so much? Was it your frat buddies? Were you nervous about the date?
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 05:14
#6
Honestly, I don't even know
Honestly, I don't even know why. I mixed too many liquors and it ended up biting me in the ass. You are right, I shoudn't have apologized, but I did feel bad. I think I'll just end up hitting her up via text and schedule a meet. She must be interested, or she wouldn't have asked me if I wanted to still talk.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 09:47
#7
OH SHIT- this is my JAM
OH SHIT- this is my JAM dude
Guy goes to frat formal, yaks and "embarrasses his date"... Why yes, sir, I believe I can help:
lol that being said- basically what Manwhore said is on point...
1. It's fucking FORMAL- if you're not puking, you're not trying (haha this is all a little tongue in cheek so don't take what I say here tooooo seriously- but at the very least, if you're going to puke, this is an example of the frame you should have afterwards, especially when discussing it with the girl)
-One of my buddies went to a formal and we were all camping out afterwards in tents in a field and he ended up going into another brother's tent, made entirely uncalibrated and belligerent attempts to fuck that brother's girl, ran outside of that tent and proceeded to trip and fall into a thorny path on the hill, roll down to the bottom, break his leg, scar his face and wake up with his pants off....
But yeah man, you're situation seems pretty shitty ; b
2. What was your date doing, not drinking heavily?
3. If it were me, there would have been 3 other bros in there puking with me- NO MAN PUKES ALONE- seriously, yall need to get your camaraderie on LOCK. I've had times when a bro of mine was puking in a trashcan in the basement and nobody else was there to have his back so I ran up and made myself gag, while simultaneously yelling, "No MAN PUKES ALONE", simply so that what he did would be deemed "cool".
As for the actual texts you sent- You're just coming from the wrong frame- she's not lying man- you didn't ruin her night and if you did she's weird. But by telling her that you did she's basically like, "Wait a second... yeah.... yeah he's RIGHT- He DID ruin my night... "
You could also just have one of your bros talk to her
Also- I'm going to assume this girl isn't in a sorority, so she's probably gdi but, even still, she should know the drill.
Guy goes to frat formal, yaks and "embarrasses his date"... Why yes, sir, I believe I can help:
lol that being said- basically what Manwhore said is on point...
1. It's fucking FORMAL- if you're not puking, you're not trying (haha this is all a little tongue in cheek so don't take what I say here tooooo seriously- but at the very least, if you're going to puke, this is an example of the frame you should have afterwards, especially when discussing it with the girl)
-One of my buddies went to a formal and we were all camping out afterwards in tents in a field and he ended up going into another brother's tent, made entirely uncalibrated and belligerent attempts to fuck that brother's girl, ran outside of that tent and proceeded to trip and fall into a thorny path on the hill, roll down to the bottom, break his leg, scar his face and wake up with his pants off....
But yeah man, you're situation seems pretty shitty ; b
2. What was your date doing, not drinking heavily?
3. If it were me, there would have been 3 other bros in there puking with me- NO MAN PUKES ALONE- seriously, yall need to get your camaraderie on LOCK. I've had times when a bro of mine was puking in a trashcan in the basement and nobody else was there to have his back so I ran up and made myself gag, while simultaneously yelling, "No MAN PUKES ALONE", simply so that what he did would be deemed "cool".
As for the actual texts you sent- You're just coming from the wrong frame- she's not lying man- you didn't ruin her night and if you did she's weird. But by telling her that you did she's basically like, "Wait a second... yeah.... yeah he's RIGHT- He DID ruin my night... "
You could also just have one of your bros talk to her
Also- I'm going to assume this girl isn't in a sorority, so she's probably gdi but, even still, she should know the drill.