NoCash Journal

Go to 0:10 for a visual representation for "deploying kino"

OMG! Lmao  

Bruh this is your fault for playing "mr.cool" and chasing her away. She liked you, got the msg you didn't like her though your actions, she finds another dude and moves on. Now you look like needy.

Let her go unless you want to ruin a potential friendship and kill your current social circle. 

Yeah, this is is def an issue I've been having. Think it happens through intention to lead and make things happen being subverted by a form of anxiety manifesting as the whole mr. Cool thing. Something I gotta be more conscious of.

It's probably in my best judgement to stop, but I think I have another opportunity soon. Things went south with her dude, and I thought I'd initiate a few low key group things with her. Will any move I make as needy/uncallibrated at this point? Its been about two weeks and I'm seeing other girls

reply to the bottom one, it made a duplicate lol

"lead and make things happen being subverted by a form of anxiety manifesting as the whole mr. Cool thing. Something I gotta be more conscious of."

you confused on this part. Did you mean lead by being subverted by anxiety? As in, while leading you felt anxiety and let that project while talking to her. 

With her you just need to have a conversation with with her and not ask her out or invite her out every other text. In this case develop the relationship, if you guys have any inside joke and by all means get inside those jokes and watch them do magic.

Also just see the other girls and develop what's going on with that. 

Ya also good ^

if you havent contacted her in 2 weeks, start slow again, re-build the relationship, and make something happen if you're really down for it.

i dont recommend it cause you're not in the proper headspace to keep your cool, mr. Cool ;)

get some other gals going and watch the magic happen

Also, are you meditating?

Word this is very good advice.

Yeah let me be a little more clear.

What I was trying to say was this, based on my experiences and understanding: Masculine energy/power etc comes from within and is something you sort of have to flow with and not interrupt for it to take its desired course, meaning escalation feels most natural when it something where you just see what your gut feelings are to do and roll with them. These gut feelings are the masculine drive to lead. However anxiety can stop this where instead of doing something and rolling with the masculine drive you feel, you begin overthinking the situation ie "is this a good time to kiss/touch/make a move ?" esp with less experience, or not going out for a while, where you loose the confidence to just roll with things, almost the same as if you drop any other skill for a while then pick it back up, you loose confidence with it and the ability to "flow". Natural tendency is often to justify that shit "shes not my type", "environment wasn't right to kiss her" or often in my case "I don't want to chase bc that makes me look needy" <---- this is mr. cool for me as I see it. So that feeling of leading/escalating not happening bc "i don't want to chase/be needy" which is often just an excuse/manifestation of anxiety and leads to far too much aloofness /mixed signals im sending.

Nah your def right about headspace haha but its been getting better and ill probably just going to go for it in as measured a way as possible. Starting out pretty friend to friend. If it blows up in my face I'll learn my lesson x2

Been meditating here and there, trying to get it started up more regularly.

Alright so different situation different girl.

Met her talking to randoms at a bar,  was pretty in my head/gawdawful opener but she recognized me from a (uni) club where I talked to her two years back, and instantly I got in the zone, turns out she lives right around the corner ( lol these last two girls have been lay ups starting out tbh, but whatevs its building my confidence so I can get a little more ballsy/ free)

Basically everything went well that night. Vibed well, moved her around the bar, escalated, danced/grinded a bit in a more isolated spot, seeded a pull (I was DD, suggested hitting up an insomnia cookies near where we both lived) she ended up not getting in the car however bc she went to find a friend at another party, so grabbed her number and seeded a meetup. She ended up flaking bc she passed out, but I ended up playing frisbee drunk with a bunch of buddies in the middle of a construction site so probably had a way better time anyway lol.  

Had break right after that night, texted all throughout just building a vibe, (maybe texted a little too much tho). 

Met with her next day (yesterday) grabbed bubble tea went and sat outside at a different spot by a fire. And here's where a couple issues came out.

Alright so I was vibing really well at first, but she started asking a shit ton of rapport/small talk, I don't play off it well and it just killed the vibe, totally got me in my head/ asking too much rapport shit as well. Any way I try to kick things up again and find an excuse to head back to her place, she takes me to her room. Jack shit happens, rapport rapport rapport, I loose attraction a bit and don't escalate, a lot of this bc of excuse "shes sitting over there in a desk chair it would be pretty weird to just go over there and kiss her when we're in rapport mode" she ends up kicking me out a few minutes later to study lol. Tried to make something happen today this night, but shit just doesn't logistically work out, (maybe I could have pushed a little harder for?) 

I'll attatch some pieces of text convo leading up to this point (this is better than my usual texting but there's something missing I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe it feels too respectable/boring lol, and she seems too wholesome, might just be way too much fluff):