Not Trying: Screen for Chemistry
This whole "Not Trying" thing is really gaining some serious traction with me. It's much easier to build a connection when you don't try. No concerns about not being "on", and no "image" to portray...
Why can't we just teach guys this from the beginning? This is the direction you want to be going.
Part of what this is, is that I no longer have a switch that goes off in my head, when I meet a girl, where I'm like, "Okay, it's gametime" - that doesn't really exist anymore.
It's also odd because I'm not "On" a lot of the time. Like I don't have that "Nimbus" feeling you get when you're totally in state. I'm literally just like standing and talking to the girl and then she's into me. It's like SHES the one doing a lot of work.
It's like this situation where the role has just flipped when I interact with girls. I don't try and the girls basically run game on me. Bartenders buying me shots, girls approaching me, using text game stuff to get me to meet up with them...
Part of it is also that I'm like totally okay not getting the girl. I'd basically rather not try and have the girl leave, then get the girl but tried. I'm just not going to chase. There's no reason to. I'm also screening for CHEMISTRY - that's huge.
That is mainly because I'm sick and tired of having these fuck relationships with girls who I don't even think are that cool. I need chemistry. Plain and simple. It's a HUGE HUGE requirement for me. So I screen for it HARD - and how do you screen for chemistry?
YOU DONT TRY..... AND THEN YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
If you're trying- you're not going to be able to gauge chemistry. You have to be willing to let the girl go, in order to properly screen for this quality. It's a mutual quality. So it has to do with you AND her. I wouldn't necessarily tell guys they HAVE to screen for chemistry - I'm just saying that at this point, it's something I realized is VERY important for me.
Girls approach me, and I'm not going to just GIVE THEM my cock - mainly becuase I gotta screen. I don't want sex if there isn't chemistry. It's not me "Playing" hard to get, it's me understanding what I want out of women and understanding that for me, sex is kinda shitty, if I don't have chemistry with her.
I still open a lot- mailnly proximity approaches, where I stand in a high-traffic area and basically give girls an excuse to stand close to me, so that I'll open them. Even then though, I'm not gonna put on some weird "Show" for them. I'm literally going to stand there and talk to them and get physical when I get a boner. But if the chemistry isn't there, I will shut down and refuse to continue the conversation. It's that simple.
It's also really hard how to describe or "teach" someone, how to "not try" lol.... But once it starts happening, you start to really see what it is and the best way to describe it is literally, "Not Trying" - like not even "trying not to try" - just totally not trying.
Wow this is where I think I’m at right now, I got to be falling in love with these bitches before I can even get a hard on lol, but I’ve noticed that it only works when am not actively gaming them, just chilling, chatting and letting the interaction FLOOOOOW for a while then if I get the “wow this girl is cool” feeling BANG it’s time to start making shit happen.
I’ve also noticed that as I realise me and the girl aint got no chemistry so begin to become disinterested some of them start trying HARD to pull me lol
Wow this is where I think I’m at right now, I got to be falling in love with these bitches before I can even get a hard on lol, but I’ve noticed that it only works when am not actively gaming them, just chilling, chatting and letting the interaction FLOOOOOW for a while then if I get the “wow this girl is cool” feeling BANG it’s time to start making shit happen.I’ve also noticed that as I realise me and the girl aint got no chemistry so begin to become disinterested some of them start trying HARD to pull me lo
l
Yeah, exactly dude. And honestly, by the time I realize that the chemistry is there - the physicality and the "making it happen" stuff, is already happening. Like I mean, there really is no "game" happening at this point, for me. Nothing that I have to "turn on"- it's just a flow.
Sure, I intellectually KNOW a lot about game, could EASILY teach a newb to get better, but honestly, the kind of shit that's making me attractive at THIS point, can't really be "taught"- as much as instructors want to tell you differently. But what will happen is that the stuff that CAN be taught, will allow you to get to a point where you develop the more important stuff that CANT be taught. So while the stuff that makes me attractive at this point, can't be taught DIRECTLY - I guess, you could say that it's taught indirectly.
Part of what I'm learning is that there is a process to this, and I couldn't have been where I am right now, in terms of my own innate attractiveness as a man, a year ago, no matter what. Like when you become more attractive, the natural way, you basically just have to accept that there is a timeline for shit. Becuase what you're doing is breaking down internal barriers and walls and false belieefs and habits, and restructuring your internal belief system, at its most core level, and for fucks sake guys, this shit takes TIME and CRAZY AMOUNTS OF CONSISTENCY AND EFFORT and oh did I mention TIME.... You're not getting better at this becuase you're practicing your vocal tone, or your "shit-test comebacks" or your backturn-timing lol like c'mon guys... You're not getting better at this becuase you're practicing your "physical escalation stack" - C'MON GUYSSSSS- you're getting better at this becuase you remove the crossover, in your mind, between shame and sex, and thus you start to become more of a sexual man and less judgmnetal about sex and so girls become more sexual around you and the physicality becomes normal, as opposed to some perverted thing that youre doing because you think it's what has to be done..
Going out a lot is NOT what develops "Deep, identity level change" - Going out a lot creates a surface-level change in your baseline emoitonal level, but this immediately is lost the second you stop going out a lot. But going deep, and working on the kind of shit that I write about in a lot of my posts, that a lot of guys may have laughed at or thought to be "mental masturbation" is actually the exact opposite. It's the very shit that makes me better. Personally, I'm tackling thi game stuff in my own way, and it's working, so maybe I'm doin somethin right
; )
really curious to see what are manwhore thoughts on this
Screening for chemistry - is really just a deeper level of detachment from outcome - I don't care what the fuck anyone says - You want investment from the girl? Do you? You want the girl to be just fucking invested as a mother fucker? Like Warren Buffet levels of investment? Screen for some motherfucking chemistry - this shit is like the holy grail of pickup haha (I'm kidding- but seriously, this is the answer to your "investment" issues with girls. Period)
To simplify:
I do not give one fucking ounce of a shit if I get the girl or not.
I do not give one fucking ounce of a shit if a girl or guy likes me or not
-Like on a deep level, I'm not even doing this, "to be better at game" loll - I legit do not care if I get the girl. AKA, this may not be the best way to go about fucking girls.... but I literally do not care. It's about my values, and most importantly it's about showing myself respect, and understanding where her role is in my overall life.
It's really frustrating to me right now, to see all of you chasing so fucking hard. Every text convo is chase after chase after chase. Even my last one, I started to chase a bit and everything got fucked up. Like why the FUCK is this happening. Not a single person on this board should have to chase. These girls should ALL be chasing us. Like, I guess I can't speak for anyone else, but I am such a ridiculously ON POINT MOTHER FUCKER, it's a little scary.
ALSO: It's about allowing chemistry to brew - You guys have to realize that when you're "gaming" a girl - you leave ZERO room for any chemistry to exist- you're bouncing around, playing your games and acting like little boys.
Here's the thing: I'm not saying that "gaming" is pointless - I'd be stupid and blind to say that - I have some relatively good friends who are PURELY manipulative "gamers" and get some of the best results of anybody I've ever heard of. This is simply MY way of going about it, becuase it jives with my value structure. It jives with how I feel about myself, and it's a natural development and it fits into the image I have in my mind of the person I personally want to be.
Plus - I'm just learning. This is just a phase. Everyone has phases where they think they found the "holy-grail" of game, and I know that this is NOT that.... but, I think manwhore would agree, that this shit is def. one of the pillars.
@tradingbr
He will agree. Quite frankly, there is nothing to disagree about here. Guys always forget that these tactics like "push/pull", "qualifying" and all that other PUA lingo are only means to an end. It's just an emulation of the real deal. The goal should be about becoming that man who does these things naturally and genuinely. And what buddha talks about here is just that. It's huge if you get it.
Also I remember that manwhore actually touched that topic in one of his older articles. I think he called it "The Pre-Screening Vibe". So there you go.
And solid post once again, Buddha