OKC girl 1st night makeout, but flakes on tomorrow's 2nd date (sex).
This girl I met a few nights back. Kind of a unique situation in that she's moving out of town at the end of the month and made that clear in her 1st email response to me on OKC. I sent her my standard opener which consists of "Hey there. I'm curious enough to consider starting a conversation. What part of town do you call home?" Her reply:
Hi
I forgot about this thing! I sort of dont live in SF any more though I'm around the bay for another month. If you'd like to still meet up,'I'm down.
xxx-xxx-xxxx
Best
KDC
During the first date after creating some comfort, I brought up the topic of her leaving at the end of the month and that presumeably she's ok with something casual. She nodded in agreement. She had a concert that she was going to meet some of her friends at around 9:30. We met up around 7p for happy hour, then later went to eat. After eating, I kissed her on the sidewalk just outside the restaurant. She seemed cautiously into it, but warmed up quickly. I grabbed her hand told her we were going for a little walk. She was excited about that prospect, it seemed. I took her down a side street, then found the first recessed driveway (SF, big city) and dragged her behind me. I could tell she was excited by the prospect. Anyway, we had a nice little make out session. After which I walked her to the venue which was only a couple blocks away. It's Friday, and we were supposed to meet up tomorrow.
You dragged her into a hidden driveway and had a cute make out sesh. Why didn't you at least try to make something happen here lol
Dude you talked about having something casual then didn't have something casual. Of course she's not going to remember you. You can't even live up to your own expectations
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Hey Dude,
Ive had simiilar issues with OK cupid girls. I will say however, that you probably shoulda pushed harder on this, could have either stopped her from going to her meetup or joined her.
I am not sure why but about three weeks ago I had three ok cupid dates all three days in a row. They all went super well. Sexual and hooked up with all of them. I definatlye have to work on closing day2's but it seems like I kinda see where your coming from when you see that sex isn't going to happen in the state that your currently, or just logistically, in so you either wait for the next meetup or try something different.
Im so confused cuz recently like just being chill and not pressuring the chick gets me better results than looking desperate for sex and going for it the first night if you dont see that the interaction is quite there yet. Ive definatley gotten more lays this way but there are still alot of situations like the last three OK cupid dates I had where they were all fully into me, hooking up with me, being sexual and showing interest, and then absolutley nothing.
How do you get the girl sexual enough to start being interested in sex. All these girls were super attracted to me and wanted to "def" hang out again bla bla, but I just saw that going home to bang in each case was far from what was going to happen in the frame at which we currently were at.
Girl One was going to come to my hood the next time we hung out and Im sure we coulda banged
Girl Two was going to meet up with me the next day and then cancelled and kept cancelling with me a few times and eventually told me she had shit with her X and didnt want to involve anyone else
Girl Three actually met up with me again but still had a hard time manouvering her back to my place or hers .... this chick eventually fizzled out.
Granted I coulda worked on the Girl3 alot better but WTF is with the other two. I originally just thought whatever about it, as it could just be other guys, bad luck, bad timing. However this happens often to me, and I see that it happens to my other friends as well .
So I guess question is what do some of you dudes do when the situation is going really well and the girl is into you alot but you see that sex is just not there yet. How do you make it that she wants to just come home and fuck you type of situation rather than meeting at another time. I think this may be harder for OK CUpid chicks /online chicks as its the first time they are actually meeting you, but any pointers would be cool.
Lead conversations better, be more decisive in how you act with her and how she sees you act with others and in different environments. Be more dominant in how you treat her, manhandle her, etc. The "sex is just not there yet" is a lack of game.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Thanks for the advice. "Lack of Game" definatley seems like the issue. I guess its just hard to see when it seems like the girl is into you, hooking up with you etc. One thing that usually happens is that most of my dates are on weekdays. When they are ready to go home cuz of having work early, like around 11 11:30, how do you keep her around. Should you just keep venue changing? Or should I just meet up earlier in general.
Yes, I fucked this one up by not immediately seizing upon the opportunity to point blank her acceptance of the casual fling frame by looking at her in the eye and saying something like "well in that case, I think you're attractive and I'm into you, what about you? Are you down? or What do you thing of my vibe? Put her on the spot looking her right in eye super relaxed. Make her be consistent with the frame she just literally handed me. But, this is just my style of game - I let my body language and calmness do a lot of my talking. Direct and minimalist.