OkCupid - 1st Week - Text Game - Tips

Yeah good stuff, lol. 

Openers:

"Im sure you've received more undeserved opportunities than a Native American applying for scholarships. Is there some standard cook book with insults in the margins where all of you POF women get these from? Jesus, I figured since you have at least minimal intelligence you could come up with something better than that. Your father should find better ways to spend his money than on your education; maybe take some tips from Charlie Sheen and start dropping 30 grand on hookers and coke. And please drop the "Im can totally out wit you" act cuz it's a fukking joke, you couldn’t tell the difference between Trailer Park and the neighborhood you grew up in. Now if you’d excuse me I have more appreciative and delightful women to spend my time chatting with, good day."

" I would belly flop into a pool of AIDS infested needles just to put my name in a hat with 1 million other names for a chance to caress your beautiful legs while wearing gloves."

" I would lick gravy from the crevices of Ralphie May's thighs to have a conversation with you over a syphilis ridden cell phone with bad reception "

I went and met up with a horse chic last night for a beer at her work which is strip club  -that was cool - was first time we have ever actually hung out

the below is tonights follow fb conversation - any tips and thougths would be much appreciated 

 Me: Some nice pole moves last night, but I think I could take u.

Her: hahha id like to see that xd

Me: how did you fair in the storm this arvo?

get wet?

 

Her: nah i worked my pony fed em got in side then it poured down ahah then head to work getta text were closed for the night hahah score night off lol

Wbu?

 

Me: ah that's a win

storms gone

I just walked to the shops

I got caught in it

that sucked

 

her: ahh shit thats gay haha

 

Me: so what are you going to do with your night off?

 

Her: what do you think hahah couch surfing tv is my jamss

yeah but Entourage or Game of Thrones?

so far entourage lol

 

Me: hmmmmmm.............I would have to go with GOT

 

Her: hahah soon soon

 

Me;come watch Game of Thrones here. we can have a waffle eating competition

one waffle per episode

hahha yeah right traffic is manic thus my night off lolo

Her: omfg i would die

Me: you can bring the topping

 

Her: hhaha done

 

Me: how hard could making waffles be?

I know how to make pancakes

 

Her: hahah i had pancakes for breakfast i think u need a waffle maker though haha

i just buy em from woolies

 

Me: thats so cheating

Her: hey still tastes good

Me: I actually know how to make butterscotch from scratch - that's fun

it's gooey

her: omg yum

 

Me: and deliciously bad

Me: right I'll get some waffles and ice cream - GOT sessions starts at 10.pm

 

Her: Haha no chance traffics fucked!

Me: c'mon it'll be fun

you can be khaleesi

Her: Bahahaa im as far off blonde as they come

Me: yeah but it's all about spirit right?

Me: I'm also a shade taller than the imp

Her: Hahshah true

Me: come, it will be fun - I live in a college with people from everywhere that can't speak english -

it's cool

 

Her: Haha not happenin not spendin my night off stuck in traffic loll

Me: ah ok fine - no waffles for you...,....

Her: Awww meanie

Me: well, I'm working on my belly see

Her: I have to be up early too ew movin someones horse for em

Her: Haha well im trying to minimise mine so its probably for the best

Me :I think that's kind of being rude to waffles

and friends of waffles, pancakes, crepes etc

Her: Hahaah

Me: so your pony went well today?

Her: Yeh he was actually really chill

Me still think he might buck?

Her: Idk aye he didnt give a shit today so ill prob jus suck it up and get on hin he was pree chill

It seemed pretty apparent to me the play would have been to go over to her house. She made the point more than once that the issue was her sitting in traffic.. but she was enthused and invested. I def would have gone over there, that was the play.