One of the most epic LR's I've had in a while-flawless victory:: Also- cool lesson on how to be REAL
After writing this I realized that this is an awesome lesson on how to be real- I basically created attraction SOLELY through opening up and letting these girls into my world. And you'll see how the shit I talked about- it's all like SUPER interactive and invovoes more than just words.... like I was expressing myself through words, pictures, videos, quotes, links..... Not as some weird tactic.... but because that's my world and I was chiln and just like, "hey come join"
Even at where I am now, being fairly congruent and authentic, I have moments where I go out and I'll say something SUPER fuckin awkward - like a college ball player who once or twice a season just flat-out dribbles the ball off his foot.... it happens. Also- I was having a HORRIBLE night, until this set. Like the kind of night where you're like, "wow.... this city sucks" loll
Anyway, I was writing up some shit this morning and started to laugh out loud at my own response to this happening, because I was able to take this situation, where I came across completely odd, and literally turn it into a situation that allowweed me to pull.
I walkup-and go directt: "You're fucking beautiful"- aghhh I didn't say it loud enough (for guys who know me thats going to sounds impossible//hilarious) and she looks back and is like, "What??" and I say it again and AGAIN I don't say it loud enough lol and she looks at me like, "WHAT??"- it's on the border. You can tell that the entire thing is about to blow up in a grand cloud of smoke
So at this point, I notice myself becoming flustered slightly- I notice some anxiety- I notice my shoulders arching lightly - So, instead of repeating anything, I literally just go fuckin zen as shit on her ass. I stop talking, and focus on my breath and just let my eyes settle on hers and just keep it in that place.. Shoulders drop back down, and I'm back in my center
But I just stay there, and this girl is like, "What", "What".... turns around, taps her friend on the shoulder, turns back around to me, with her friend now, and they both lookk at me, and I crack a slight, kinda cocky smile (Still not saying anything) and they start cracking up. I still haven't said anything, and now it's become like a game, and we're all playing along. I start tapping random people around us on the shoulder and then just not saying anything and making goofy as fuck faces, and they are having a blast- now mind you this is some advanced shit lmao (Not that I think about it like that but yeahh)- like I literally created a role-play//adventure and framed our interaction as "Us against the world"..... without saying a fucking word haha
so then I turn around, signal the bartender and get a beer by pointing at someones bud light and giving him a thumbs-up.... get the beer, turn around and finally I say, "Cheers"
And then verbal game begins but we're already in super adventure mode, because for like 5 minutes I wasn't talking, which is weird, but as soon as they tacitly accepted that game.... it completely changed the frame of the interaction moving forward.
There's only about an hour left in the night, so I stick it out in set, and talk to both of them about the most ridiculous shit.... like let me try and remember what we talked about:
1. Tao- specifically, I pulled up my fb page on my phone and showed them the following quote:
The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion
in those who think that they know.
haha literally dropped that quote on them- aint no thing
2. Started telling them all about self improvement industry, and a book I'm currently reading, also telling them how fucking into inspirational shit I am (seeded the idea of watching mnotivational cideos) - pulled it up online and dropped another quote on them:
"Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man's true nature. A
superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and
hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a
closed one. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with
spontaneous skill and love even from that place."
3. Pulled up a bunch of pictures on my phone of a trip I took recently to a ridiculously awesome location and showed them a bunch of pictures//video I took of me and my friends doin awesome shit
4. Oh, hahaha at one point I started talking to them about space travel - that got interesting actually cause it turns out the girl I ended up fucking.... her brother works for NASA and shes super into that shit I guess
5. Oh, I had just gotten off of work and gone directly out so I had like a bright red backpack on with all my work stuff in it (I wasn't planning on going out... it just kinda happened)- so they kept bringing up my backpack (mother fucker is BRIGHT red), so after enough pestering on their part, I eventually sat down and went through my bag with them and made up crazy ridiculous shit about each item in my bag- haha like I have this sun lamp, and I started telling them how it's actually for my work and a top secret prototype for a new design we're making for Apple-lol that was a fun one
The hotter one has cvhosen me at this point and her friend went back to chattin with some other girls... .so me and the hottie are just chiln in the corner talkin for dayyyys about all this ridiculous shit
In the middle of all of this there were a couple moments where she particularly turned me on and just in those short moments, I would grab her and makeout and fuck with her tits and like just feel her body..... god a sexy woman's body feels so fucking good.
We close out the bar and head outside, and I tell her, "Hey let's go watch some inspirational videos, I have a spot right across the street" - she mentiones her friend and i point at my spot and just tell her we'll be right over there and that we'll be back in 2 minutes but I have to kick her ass at N64... so yeah.... my office (which isn't a normal office... like my office has a keg, surround sound system that blairs wtvr music I want, hard alc on tap, n64, wii, huge flat-screen tv, an old-school mortal kombat arcade game-like the full-on arcade version of it lol)..... so yeah my office is the ULTIMATE pull spot (Oh and did i mention that my office is quite literally across the street from every club/bar in the main area...) like were talking it was a 20 second walk from the bar to my spot....
Get into my office (which I'm the boss of, so nobody else has the passcode on the weekend- also, I have a budget to set it up with shit that I want, so I pimped it the fuck out)
Give her the panty-droppeer tour and at this point she's like, "omg what do you do, this is so awesome etc etc"..... I play it down and ground myself a little.... go play some mortal kombat with her and im like grabbin her ass and shit.... go overe to the couch and pop in the n64 and while im on the couch she gets on top of me and whispers in my ear, "I want your cock" and we start makin out and i take off my pants and she's already on the floor below the couch and yeahhhhh the rest went dfown super awesome. Her friend called a bunch but was totally cool with everything and came over after to kick it qand play some video games with us
how do i format that better? lol
crop and rotate that image 90 deg clockwise.
..and your office seems fucking legit. do you live in a big city?
Did you ask her if she thought your balls looked funny. Lots of guys think their balls are normal, until they get "the talk"
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
she said I should prob grow a pair but that until I did she'd just sit on my cock, like a mother hen does with her eggs, to help them grow
lol but seriuosly, I think I can get your point,.... I need to learn to close quicker and harder.... too many times she doesn't make the move
Dude this is absolutely quality
Whenever I talk about self improvement shit/zen with girls they just seem totally uninterested unless it's 1 on 1 in a chill setting, how exactly do you talk about it?
LOL yeah my office is sweet as hell, and I guess I live in a major city (although I personally think its rather small- but I prefer to keep specifics out of it).
@DARK
Okay, what you have to underdstand is that "self help" and like "tao//buddhist" shit literally is basically all I think about on a day-to-day basis.... it's literally THE thing that gets me passionate and excited.... so when I'm talkiung about it with a girl, I'm like a little kid man, like there is a level of passion and excitement that makes girls tingle in their loins . Like you know how a little 8 year old could talk about something that you're really not that into but just hearing him talk about it would make you melt and want to engage him FULLY on THAT level..... well that's kinda how I am when I talk to people about this shit. It's changed my life man. how could I possibly bore someone talking about this? But this is a VERY recent development in my game- probably really just developed over the past 2-3 months where I really learned how to express myself on another level
I'm also EXTREMELY loud- loud enough where what I'm saying comes across very very clear.... also- I wasn't just "talking" about it- like I was SHOWING them shit, and engaging them and including them in the discussion.... it wasn't just me talking- like there would b e entire sections of time where I just sat and listened as she went off on something
Like DUDE, I literally BREATHE this shit man..... like also it's totally new for me to be engaging girls on this level.... i've been in the game for a longggg time and it was only in the past 2-3 months that I started understanding what it means to like LEGIT open up and just fuckin let that passion flow. On som elevels, I was almost ashamed of my passion, but now man I'm jjust lettin it come out and girls feel that dude.
Don't talk about it in a boring way- talk about it the way you would write a post about a new epiphany you had...... talk about it the way you would talk about it when you're callin up your buddy to tell him how that "one thing you've been looking at" just all of a sudden CLICKED.....talk about it the way you actually feel about it- let girls see into YOUR WORLD
Here's the thing- I'm not you, so I can't tell you how to talk to girls.... it's about expressing who YOU are, and most people have something that's unique about themselves..... maybe it's your intelligence, or some quirky way you pronounce your "r"s.... I don't know what it is for you-- but just own the fuck out of it
Like I have a level of energy, excitement and passion about my shit that can be pretty unique - in the recent past, I was almost kinda ashamed of that- ashamed of my interests etc... so i just didnt talk about them a lot and I kind of changed how I behaved in front of girls but the deeper I've gotten into figuring myself out- the more of those layers of "protection" I'm able to remove
Also yo- this has a lot to do with my own interests- like some dudes really dont care about having connection- me.... well im all about connection, so it hurt me to not be able to connect with girls, and then I realized it was cause i never opened up at all, never let them see me- so there was a distance that's impossible to get past.
Like if you're not a super excited and passionate guy- don't rock that look, it won't be good on you.... maybve you're super chill? That's solid, do that.... Just own he fuck out of who you are..... I know it sounds so basic and "standard", but it's what it is, and it's jjust up to you to go deep and remove all the layers you've built up that prevent people from seeing you
Here's the thing- I'm not you, so I can't tell you how to talk to girls.... it's about expressing who YOU are, and most people have something that's unique about themselves..... maybe it's your intelligence, or some quirky way you pronounce your "r"s.... I don't know what it is for you-- but just own the fuck out of itLike I have a level of energy, excitement and passion about my shit that can be pretty unique - in the recent past, I was almost kinda ashamed of that- ashamed of my interests etc... so i just didnt talk about them a lot and I kind of changed how I behaved in front of girls but the deeper I've gotten into figuring myself out- the more of those layers of "protection" I'm able to remove
Also yo- this has a lot to do with my own interests- like some dudes really dont care about having connection- me.... well im all about connection, so it hurt me to not be able to connect with girls, and then I realized it was cause i never opened up at all, never let them see me- so there was a distance that's impossible to get past.
Like if you're not a super excited and passionate guy- don't rock that look, it won't be good on you.... maybve you're super chill? That's solid, do that.... Just own he fuck out of who you are..... I know it sounds so basic and "standard", but it's what it is, and it's jjust up to you to go deep and remove all the layers you've built up that prevent people from seeing you
Awesome LR!
Dude, I think any guy that wants to get girls needs to be charasmatic as hell. Some dudes just have it, like you said...but it's a skill every guy needs to develope. I used to think my quiet/chill vibe was "my thing"and then I realized it just isn't "aggressive" enough
pottedflowers wrote:
Here's the thing- I'm not you, so I can't tell you how to talk to girls.... it's about expressing who YOU are, and most people have something that's unique about themselves..... maybe it's your intelligence, or some quirky way you pronounce your "r"s.... I don't know what it is for you-- but just own the fuck out of itLike I have a level of energy, excitement and passion about my shit that can be pretty unique - in the recent past, I was almost kinda ashamed of that- ashamed of my interests etc... so i just didnt talk about them a lot and I kind of changed how I behaved in front of girls but the deeper I've gotten into figuring myself out- the more of those layers of "protection" I'm able to remove
Also yo- this has a lot to do with my own interests- like some dudes really dont care about having connection- me.... well im all about connection, so it hurt me to not be able to connect with girls, and then I realized it was cause i never opened up at all, never let them see me- so there was a distance that's impossible to get past.
Like if you're not a super excited and passionate guy- don't rock that look, it won't be good on you.... maybve you're super chill? That's solid, do that.... Just own he fuck out of who you are..... I know it sounds so basic and "standard", but it's what it is, and it's jjust up to you to go deep and remove all the layers you've built up that prevent people from seeing you
Awesome LR!
Dude, I think any guy that wants to get girls needs to be charasmatic as hell. Some dudes just have it, like you said...but it's a skill every guy needs to develope. I used to think my quiet/chill vibe was "my thing"and then I realized it just isn't "aggressive" enough
Meh, it's a limiting belief man... I've seen some ridiculuously chilll dudes with MASSIVE results- actually there's some dude that manwhore links sometimes that's like that, I think his name is "james" something? Him and sasha did a pretty funny "switch" of personalities one time
Similarly, there are dudes I know who have way more excitable and passionate personalities than me who don't get laid... it's entirely about removing the layers of glass shielding you from the outside world and just getting closer to the person who you truly are.
Lol at the panty dropper tour. Good shit.
Meow wrote:
pottedflowers wrote:
Here's the thing- I'm not you, so I can't tell you how to talk to girls.... it's about expressing who YOU are, and most people have something that's unique about themselves..... maybe it's your intelligence, or some quirky way you pronounce your "r"s.... I don't know what it is for you-- but just own the fuck out of itLike I have a level of energy, excitement and passion about my shit that can be pretty unique - in the recent past, I was almost kinda ashamed of that- ashamed of my interests etc... so i just didnt talk about them a lot and I kind of changed how I behaved in front of girls but the deeper I've gotten into figuring myself out- the more of those layers of "protection" I'm able to remove
Also yo- this has a lot to do with my own interests- like some dudes really dont care about having connection- me.... well im all about connection, so it hurt me to not be able to connect with girls, and then I realized it was cause i never opened up at all, never let them see me- so there was a distance that's impossible to get past.
Like if you're not a super excited and passionate guy- don't rock that look, it won't be good on you.... maybve you're super chill? That's solid, do that.... Just own he fuck out of who you are..... I know it sounds so basic and "standard", but it's what it is, and it's jjust up to you to go deep and remove all the layers you've built up that prevent people from seeing you
Awesome LR!
Dude, I think any guy that wants to get girls needs to be charasmatic as hell. Some dudes just have it, like you said...but it's a skill every guy needs to develope. I used to think my quiet/chill vibe was "my thing"and then I realized it just isn't "aggressive" enough
Meh, it's a limiting belief man... I've seen some ridiculuously chilll dudes with MASSIVE results- actually there's some dude that manwhore links sometimes that's like that, I think his name is "james" something? Him and sasha did a pretty funny "switch" of personalities one time
Similarly, there are dudes I know who have way more excitable and passionate personalities than me who don't get laid... it's entirely about removing the layers of glass shielding you from the outside world and just getting closer to the person who you truly are.
I totally know who your talking about, I think it's James Marshall. Yeah the chill vibe totally works for him, I just feel like people fall into this "james bond" mode and they just don't come off as the kinda guy that would push hard enough to get the pussy.
Funny that your discussing layers of personality. I was just about to post a discussion about it, I was thinking the same exact shit. I guess it's not just me who is experiencing a delayering of my personality. The way I was viewing this concept was that I no longer have deep insecurties or forced social behaviors, I've became more chill right down to the core.
Hmm, I'm confused- are you talking abou "people" or "you"?
That particular issue, I would think would be more of an isue of somebody not fully understanding what they want and being afraid to go after it, but nothing to do with being "chill" or not...
Hmm, I'm confused- are you talking abou "people" or "you"?That particular issue, I would think would be more of an isue of somebody not fully understanding what they want and being afraid to go after it, but nothing to do with being "chill" or not...
I've totally seen it in myself before yes. i'm speaking of people I observe around me as well though.
Word, I'm only asking because if that's the reason you changed up the way you behave, matbe you could go a lil deeper and see that it didnt have to do with anything wrong about your persoanlity..... but maybe more to do with not going after what you want? I don't know man
Regardless it's a solid point you're making- aand a super good observation
Like a veryy chill, low-key, under the radar type of ddue, who simaltaneously goes after what he wants with precision and tenacity is like one of the deadliest combinations I've ever seen.... I've personally been DESTROYED by dudes like this in field.
Word, I'm only asking because if that's the reason you changed up the way you behave, matbe you could go a lil deeper and see that it didnt have to do with anything wrong about your persoanlity..... but maybe more to do with not going after what you want? I don't know manRegardless it's a solid point you're making- aand a super good observation
hmmm..I'll totally look into that a bit, what your saying makes sense. I just feel that my presence is far stronger when i'm charasmatic, but yeah i'm definitely not naturally a high energy dude at all but that was also when I was awful with chicks lol.
you are ridiculously on point for being in hs- just sayin....
But yeah, I tyhink I was really using this as a way to get on my soap box and just try and make my little point that charisma is less about any individual traits someone may have, and more about one's relationship with himself.
Like there are some super super super quiet dudes I know, who just completely own a room when they walk in.... Personally, I see this and am always in shock and just like super intrigued about how this happens. It's pretty wild to see it in action.
I think the presence thing has a lot to do with intense eye contact. I need to start cultivating this. I like having everyone's attention on me, but haven't harnessed it fully as a skill yet.
Naw I was just trolling. I like your balls honestly
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
The learning process for a lot of guys, at least the learning process that they can be helped or coached through, is one of learning to assert themselves dominantly, and being able to control their perceived "persona" in the social realm. Once they experience that and internalize it, they can relax and go into some searing coal type shit. As a coach and a wing and as a person, I mostly just go where I'm needed honestly. When I'm hanging out with Rogan I have to be FULL expressive and dominant, because that dude used to not be able to lead a poop out of the chute, but if I'm hanging with a guy like Alex, I can be chill as fuck. And yes.. chill as fuck can be super deadly. Just ask an eskimo
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
I think the presence thing has a lot to do with intense eye contact. I need to start cultivating this. I like having everyone's attention on me, but haven't harnessed it fully as a skill yet.
What do you mean by this? You like getting attention, but haven't developed what as a skill? Like you don't have the skillset of getting everyone in a room to be paying attention to you? haha if that's the case, I could teach ya that in the first half of one night out-easy.
But I don't think that's of much importance tbh- the more difficult, and skillfull, aspect of it all is handling the attention with a level head and remaining centered..
The learning process for a lot of guys, at least the learning process that they can be helped or coached through, is one of learning to assert themselves dominantly, and being able to control their perceived "persona" in the social realm. Once they experience that and internalize it, they can relax and go into some searing coal type shit. As a coach and a wing and as a person, I mostly just go where I'm needed honestly. When I'm hanging out with Rogan I have to be FULL expressive and dominant, because that dude used to not be able to lead a poop out of the chute, but if I'm hanging with a guy like Alex, I can be chill as fuck. And yes.. chill as fuck can be super deadly. Just ask an eskimo
hahaha I honestly have no clue what I'd do if I was out with Alex... Probably some really stupid shit lol
Also, that's a quality I admire like crazy- wish I could be more like that man- good shit. But also, its like different personalities compliment eachother... my best friend is ridiculously chill haha which really helps a lot tbh- I cannnot tell you how gratefull I am whenever I go out with a super chill wing
More like Alex in what way?
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Your explanation made a load of connections - I guess I do some of the things you're saying. When I first started to see reality as it is when I got into this stuff I would talk to friends and girls for hours about things I was realising, like my heartbeat would actually speed up and I'd feel like I was high lol.
Since then I talk about it less, but I'm still massively interested. It's not a way I'm used to expressing myself, instead I concentrate on creating massive fun. Like I have a large group of female friends I go for meals and chill during the day with, we've basically created our own language of ridiculous nicknames and innuendos, I'm always talking about how much I love sex and getting girls to be comfortable talking about their own sexuality. I find it kinda difficult to transfer that kind of vibe to a girl I've just met in a club though.
I actually feel like my purpose is to rescue female sexuality ha, I have this little speech to girls I'm casually sleeping with where I say jealousy and attachment are fake bullshit, and that we're the next step in human evolution. Showed my cherish a new age book about an island where the community act as a collective marriage, with no jealousy and total encouraged sexual freedom.
I guess this shit gets me going like self help and buddhism does for you, it's just that most of these things I've developed in the context of friends and girls I've been seeing a while
More like Alex in what way?
Nah bro, wasn't talkin bout alex
Your explanation made a load of connections - I guess I do some of the things you're saying. When I first started to see reality as it is when I got into this stuff I would talk to friends and girls for hours about things I was realising, like my heartbeat would actually speed up and I'd feel like I was high lol.Since then I talk about it less, but I'm still massively interested. It's not a way I'm used to expressing myself, instead I concentrate on creating massive fun. Like I have a large group of female friends I go for meals and chill during the day with, we've basically created our own language of ridiculous nicknames and innuendos, I'm always talking about how much I love sex and getting girls to be comfortable talking about their own sexuality. I find it kinda difficult to transfer that kind of vibe to a girl I've just met in a club though.
I actually feel like my purpose is to rescue female sexuality ha, I have this little speech to girls I'm casually sleeping with where I say jealousy and attachment are fake bullshit, and that we're the next step in human evolution. Showed my cherish a new age book about an island where the community act as a collective marriage, with no jealousy and total encouraged sexual freedom.
I guess this shit gets me going like self help and buddhism does for you, it's just that most of these things I've developed in the context of friends and girls I've been seeing a while
haha I mean, hell, that's prob way more potent dude- seems like you got your own thing down dude. thats solid as fuck....
As I mentioned earlier, for me, it's all about connection- that's more important to me than sex- so I guess that's where I'm coming from...and I talk about sex with girls, but that's just something that usually comes up further down the road.. I'd have a tough time just casually bringing that up
You also seem way more comfortable with your sexuality than me, so I'd love to hear more about that - huge asset when it comes to bangin chicks, for sure..
At first I wasn't interested in making a connection at all - encouraging girls to not get attached makes that kinda difficult. I've found that eventhough I just talk about nonsense and sex that the girls are actually the ones to try and create the connection. I love some of these girls to pieces - having close female friends AND casual sex with some of them has made life SO enjoyable. Last night I was making out with a girl I'm seeing, then I turn around and start kissing some random hottie. My friend goes APESHIT, saying I can't do that to her mate, I should fuck off etc. I just carry on dancing, the girl I'm seeing said "I really don't care, I like you but I'm not jealous". A little later her friend came and apologised and said she wasn't damaging our friendship even over her friend. Went back to hers later
So on the surface I don't really actively seek out a connection, but it just seems to naturally develop. I get where you're coming from, I don't actually value having sex as much as time chilling with these girls.
"Being comfortable with my sexuality" is something I've never really thought about - like I wouldn't talk to my parents about it or anything, but it doesn't make any sense to me why it should be treated as something serious. I went way overboard with being as sexual as possible in late high school and made a load of girls despise me lol, but since that initial awkward phase I'm pretty comfortable talking about whatever in front of people.
What do you actually mean when you say you don't seem as comfortable with your sexuality? From your posts you seem a pretty expressive dude, you lead towards sex.... I'm not sure what you mean
At first I wasn't interested in making a connection at all - encouraging girls to not get attached makes that kinda difficult. I've found that eventhough I just talk about nonsense and sex that the girls are actually the ones to try and create the connection. I love some of these girls to pieces - having close female friends AND casual sex with some of them has made life SO enjoyable. Last night I was making out with a girl I'm seeing, then I turn around and start kissing some random hottie. My friend goes APESHIT, saying I can't do that to her mate, I should fuck off etc. I just carry on dancing, the girl I'm seeing said "I really don't care, I like you but I'm not jealous". A little later her friend came and apologised and said she wasn't damaging our friendship even over her friend. Went back to hers laterSo on the surface I don't really actively seek out a connection, but it just seems to naturally develop. I get where you're coming from, I don't actually value having sex as much as time chilling with these girls.
"Being comfortable with my sexuality" is something I've never really thought about - like I wouldn't talk to my parents about it or anything, but it doesn't make any sense to me why it should be treated as something serious. I went way overboard with being as sexual as possible in late high school and made a load of girls despise me lol, but since that initial awkward phase I'm pretty comfortable talking about whatever in front of people.
What do you actually mean when you say you don't seem as comfortable with your sexuality? From your posts you seem a pretty expressive dude, you lead towards sex.... I'm not sure what you mean
'hmm- so in my mind, "making a connection" and "getting attached" are totally different. Some of the best connections I've made, have been situations where we both knew "There was no tomorrow" sotospeak.... but I feel you about the girls being the one's to want to seek the connection- klike the other night I was just chiln and this girl came up and goes, "Lets go outside and talk, I want to know more about you"- maybe I had said like 5 words to this chick throughout the night? But we head outside and we end up talkin bout deep shit- but seriously, that's just who I am, so I don't think other people should try and emulate it or anything.... Also, I think a lot of dudes just aren't even able to meet girls half-way.... like a girl will actively seek a connection and dudes will just be putting up these walls, without even knowing it\
Oh one more thing- when I'm talkin bout deep shit- I do it from a place of fun- especially at a bar or club... like I make it funny and kinda rip on the girl for not being able to go deep with it
So right, I am not out there like SEEKING connection- rather, ehat I AM out there doing is ACTIVELY expressing myaelf as best I can, because I know that one of my deepest desires is to build, deep, meaningful relationships.... and again, that's just me, and I've done the whole "shallow" thing in the past, but I don't personally like that- i don't feel as good about myself when I'm not expressing myself from the deepest core-level that I have - which a lot of the times is me just totally goofin around and creating MASSIVE fun.
Uhmm with regards to the sexuality thing I was just referring to the fact that you are actively talking about sex with your girlfriends- I find that interesting.... it's just not what I would actively choose to talk about.... even with my best guy friends, we just talk about super deep shit - it's something that few people are comfortable with, but the ones that are- it's a pretty incredible bond.
Okay actually I know exactly what I meant about the sexuality comment:
Basically, part of the reason I develoip connection, is for my own sake.... Like I'm not comfortable fuckin a girl, unless I feel a certain level of connection. So, for me, it's like I'm not building the connection for them, but it's more for me so that I feel comfortable and the more comfortable I get, that's when I start to open up to the sexual elemnts and just have those moments where I feel complete calm and sexual and just want to grab her tits- and as long as I'm comfortable, it's like I have full reign over her body
I know a lot of pickup community is focused on making the girl feel comfortable, but for me, what I've come to realize is that it's more about ME being comfortable, than the girl.... same thing for when I just casually approach a girl at the bar, like the first tiny bit, I might not be fully warmed up to her as a person, you know? Like it takes me a moment to figure out if I'm really down with her
Okay actually I know exactly what I meant about the sexuality comment:Basically, part of the reason I develoip connection, is for my own sake.... Like I'm not comfortable fuckin a girl, unless I feel a certain level of connection. So, for me, it's like I'm not building the connection for them, but it's more for me so that I feel comfortable and the more comfortable I get, that's when I start to open up to the sexual elemnts and just have those moments where I feel complete calm and sexual and just want to grab her tits- and as long as I'm comfortable, it's like I have full reign over her body
I know a lot of pickup community is focused on making the girl feel comfortable, but for me, what I've come to realize is that it's more about ME being comfortable, than the girl.... same thing for when I just casually approach a girl at the bar, like the first tiny bit, I might not be fully warmed up to her as a person, you know? Like it takes me a moment to figure out if I'm really down with her
I wish I had this same "love" for women, but for some reason it's just not there. I could care less about a connection. I was just so damn emotional over chicks when i was younger, and now i'm literally unmoved by a girls actions/words towards me.
G-Money wrote:
I think the presence thing has a lot to do with intense eye contact. I need to start cultivating this. I like having everyone's attention on me, but haven't harnessed it fully as a skill yet.What do you mean by this? You like getting attention, but haven't developed what as a skill? Like you don't have the skillset of getting everyone in a room to be paying attention to you? haha if that's the case, I could teach ya that in the first half of one night out-easy.
But I don't think that's of much importance tbh- the more difficult, and skillfull, aspect of it all is handling the attention with a level head and remaining centered..
the second part.
I can can get peoples attention on me but I haven't discovered how to fully be centered with the attention and run with it.