online chick going cold after meet up

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Wed, 11/27/2013 - 11:23

IseTea

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Joined: 07/29/2013

I add this chick on fb, talk for like 5-10mins (self amusing stuff)

then I tell her let's become friends here's my # gimme a missed call ...

she says "oh, we'll talk about that later, I have to go now but I'll come back in

an hour or so."

she comes back, I'm not feeling very well, we talk a lil bit more still she doesn't call.

next days she msgs me on fb herself, we talk like 1hr or so, again fun silly stuff,

I tell her I've grown a long beard, she asks for a pic, I tell her I'll send u one only if

u send one too. I send her one but she won't send me a pic so I tell her if u can't do this

little thing for me, it's obvious u r never gonna call and we r never gonna meet so it's a

waste of time.

then she comes up with excuses on why she can't take a pic - my camera is broken, I'm not

wearing any make up - and I stick to my words, either send me a pic or we won't talk again

then she says I can give u a call but I can't take a pic , and I say no , I want the pic and

that's it. finally she sends the pic , and right after that I get her to give me her # too.

next day we talk on fb and I try to set a date, she says she's busy studying. I call her that

night and we talk for like 10mins usual stuff ( what r upto ... ) so I say we'll meet

up tomorrow, she calls me tomorrow we talk usu stuff again , texts me evening she has to go some

where and she can't come, I reply like an hour later to set a double date day after, she says

she can't come and I ignore her, she sends another text, I tell her I'm watching a movie (I was)

she keeps re-engaging and I reply with short and breaking sentences.

next day she msgs me on fb why are u so cold to me ? what happened ? u r not like before bla bla

and I ask her what have I done ? she says nothing. I ask her , look , why do you like me ? and she

says I dunno , I don't reply her last msg and like 1hr later or so I see she's posting on other guys

wall , lol and I don't care.

that night I poke her , she texts me the next day , we talk again on fb , I text her the next day

and set a place to meet up ( a park ) , she says she'll let me know. she call me and says she's there

with her friend.

so I go there, she smiles as soon as she sees me, I go there, we shake hands I say hello to her friend

then I ask her to come with me for 2mins and ask her for hand cream, because my face was dry , she says I don't

have any but there's no need it's cool :)

so we sit next to each other on a rock , her friend sitting in front of us talking about usual daily

stuff , she only looked at me right in the eye only once and I saw her pupils weren't even slightly dilated so that's

a bad sign.

*note : this was my first time going on a date from fb, I thought she'd be already excited to see me

after all that chasing and investing, it seems I was wrong and I had to start all over again. clear me on this ?

I was talking to her about sth and as a habit I put my hand on her back, and as soon as I notice this

I remove it ( becuz she was with her friend and also touching one point for a long time isn't good , right?)

then we talk for a lil more, I say let's go for a walk , she's not interested I try to get her to stand up

she won't. I let go , stand up and say C'mon let's go , she says ok fine, then when we're alone I give her a small hug from behind

and we talk a lil more she's not compliant she won't let me wear her sunglasses :p , and she takes the shortest possible walk too ( she says my friend

is alone and I don't want to keep her waiting for a long time ) I push her away with my shoulder ( trying to be playful at the same time )

and all this time she's looking down ... then she goes back to her friend and I get the sense that I was making her uncomfortable and she feels safe now :p

then we talk a lil more , park is about to close , so we go out , then three of us walk for like 10mins or so

and she's holding hands with her friend, (we're in public now) I put my hand on her back and she says don't and I say fine.

then we shakes hands and bade farewell , I text her sth funny she has no credit so she can't reply, that night I text her asking to come to fb

so I can tell her sth , she neither answers nor shows up

next day my friend asks me to invite her to a birthday, I call her she won't pick up , I leave her a text "what r u upto? I wanted to ivnited u to... it'd be great if u could come"

she doesn't reply. that evening I see she posted an status of fb "feeling lonely" I msg her "heey did I say or do something to upset u ? u can tell me and I can make it up to u :) but if u think I'm not cute enough there' s nothing I can do abt that :pp"

she replies "I'm not feeling well , I caught a cold , I can't even stand myself" and I reply "ok , do whateever u want , just don't be upest"

(1) is it possible that me being physical creeped her out ?

(2) I noticed I was looking at her most of the time , it might come off as needy , right ?

(3) my pictures look way more handsome than me :p is that it ? as I mentioned , her eyes weren't dilated from the very start. looks like she had already made up her mind

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 13:18

Manwhore

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Joined: 01/18/2012

Your physicalness didn't

Your physicalness didn't creep her out at all. She's extremely used to dudes touching her. Your lack of experience in this area and how this made you act is what did you in. Touching a girl is a very simple thing. Girls get touched by guys all the time. I'm sure you've read lay reports/field reports.. all kinds of "reports". You must have noticed that things seem to go down differently. There's an entire other world going on out there. She was responding to your lack of experience.

You meet a girl off "anywhere".. you shake hands. What the fucking shit. No one shakes hands with a girl. This is a complete lack of comfort/experience in an area you REALLY need to get going on. Shaking hands? You're supposed to start off a date with a hug and a kiss. You're shaking hands. You're starting a date out on COMPLETE FAGGOT level. Got to fix this mang.

I understand I am coming off a bit harsh. I need to knock you out of your comfort zone. You could spend a LOT of time in your current state. I am just trying to limit this. I will not be around for much longer. I will be moving on. Please understand

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Wed, 11/27/2013 - 13:27

IseTea

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Joined: 07/29/2013

Manwhore , I live in middle

Manwhore , I live in middle east,

Due to cultural difference , you can't ever find a couple hugging and kissing on the street. It might comes of as a surprise but that's the truth. I've been to Europe and the first time it blew my mind away. lol !

So me shaking hands with the chick is actually the best I could've done and as I told , I hugged her and other physicality that is actually too much for 'this culture'.

and what about the eye contact I told you about ? is it fine or needy if I'm the one who's looking at her most of the time and she's looking down ?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 13:46

IseTea

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Joined: 07/29/2013

Manwhore, it's basically

Manwhore, it's basically impossible to do what you just said in a public place like a park.

I can only manage to do that if we meet in a private place , like house ... how do you suggest I invite them to that place ? it'd be too hard , you know that !

IseTea wrote:

Manwhore , I live in middle east,

Due to cultural difference , you can't ever find a couple hugging and kissing on the street. It might comes of as a surprise but that's the truth. I've been to Europe and the first time it blew my mind away. lol !

So me shaking hands with the chick is actually the best I could've done and as I told , I hugged her and other physicality that is actually too much for 'this culture'.

and what about the eye contact I told you about ? is it fine or needy if I'm the one who's looking at her most of the time and she's looking down ?

Thu, 11/28/2013 - 13:54

Manwhore

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Joined: 01/18/2012

Maybe you should move to

Maybe you should move to Europe then. No offense but damn.. that must suck

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- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

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Sat, 11/30/2013 - 07:55

TrickAssMark

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Joined: 09/23/2013

You state later in the OP

You state later in the OP that you put your hand on her back for an extended period of time and also HUGGED HER FROM BEHIND when you went for a short walk. Not trying to call you out but i think you may be exaggerating the cultural taboo here.

Sat, 11/30/2013 - 11:49

IseTea

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Joined: 07/29/2013

TrickAssMark wrote: You state

TrickAssMark wrote:

You state later in the OP that you put your hand on her back for an extended period of time and also HUGGED HER FROM BEHIND when you went for a short walk. Not trying to call you out but i think you may be exaggerating the cultural taboo here.

I'm not exaggerating at all. what you just mentioned shows that I'm not in my comfort zone and I am taking action.

I could've gotten myself and the girl into serious trouble if we were caught, since we are not legally married.

now, on the other hand, you can sometimes bribe the officers or idk find a way out so it's not that dangerous but

you never know.

Manwhore wrote:

Maybe you should move to Europe then. No offense but damn.. that must suck

man I really appreciate your advice , but I would've moved already if I could. I'm trying to make it work in here since I can't move.

I still don't know what went wrong , I guess I was needy and not leading enough ? I understand I have to balance all these things

like the first time I lead ( to go for a walk ) but 2nd time she chose the short route and I didn't bother to change her mind. she would've freaked out.

or perhaps I didn't do anything wrong and it's just a random element I can't control ?