Online Dating
Some examples(not mine),
ENJOY! :D
1
Man: Let’s fuck like minx, raise rugrats, and live happily ever after
WoMan: No thanks.
Man: Okay, forget the rugrats and I’ll be sure the sex is terrible, but happily ever after is non-negotiable.
WoMan: *Yawn* I see you are a collector of quotes.
Man: JaJa, I love the idea that you googled my messages. I suppose that in spite of your cliché filled profile, your wit is sufficient to merit a hand written e-mail.
WoMan: My profile might be cliché, but it got your attention so I must be doing something right. Does he have a name?
Man: It is Todd, perhaps we should continue this banter over a drink
WoMan: You do not sound like a Todd and you do not look like a Todd, perhaps we should
CLOSE
2
Man: Hi, I just wanted to tell you that if I had the emotional maturity for a relationship, then you would totally be at the top of my list.
WoMan: Arrogant, yet mildly interesting…
Man: Interesting?! I was just going for “arrogant asshole” but hey, whatever works ;) You do not seem entirely boring yourself… doll
WoMan: JaJa, I am Godsmacked by your candor and prowess with the English language… DOLL
Man: JaJa, perhaps we should grab a drink when I get back to Boston this week.. in the meantime, my number is… what’s yours? - Todd
CLOSE
3
Man: You had me at your impeccable spelling and correct use of grammar.
WoMan: You are not my type, but thank you.
Man: Fair enough. Successful, witty, and attractive men with ambition and excellent physiques are not for everyone. Best of luck in your search
WoMan: Based on what you have written about yourself, it seems like you are only after one thing and one thing only. Though I find you entertaining and respect your honesty. I do not think that we are on the same page. Good luck in you search as well. I am sure that you shall find yourself a real winner.
Man: JaJa, you’re right I am after one thing only; perfection and love.. oh wait, that is two things ;)
WoMan: Very cute, as it turns out I’m perfect and you love me, you just do not know it yet
Man: Hmm.. well, when I figure it out perhaps we should meet each other… or is that how I shall be figuring it out?
WoMan: Who knows with you, you are all over the place. I like that we are 10% enemies. What area do you live in? Jessica
Man: I live in Manhattan and I am here for a week and a half before my trip to Europe. Care to lubricate the banter with libation in the meantime?
WoMan: Yes, call me so we can make a plan. The good news is I do not do the whole dating thing either. It is so formal and I hate everyone. *her number*
4
Man: If you can be a goofball and a bitch in the same sentence, I will buy you a drink -Todd
WoMan: JaJa, while that’s quite a lovely offer, I am sure we would strangel each other within minutes.
Man: I guess if that is what you are into :b I might want to know you for an hour or two first though; I am kinda shy ;)
WoMan: Man, you are a bit arrogant aren’t you!? How is your day going so far?
Man: If by arrogant you mean mindblowingly amazing, then yes, I am a bit arrogant ;) You seem fairly confident yourself. Do you think you can handle a guy who travels for a living?
WoMan: That is totally what I mean by arrogant. You are like a mind reader. I am actually not a confident person. I just know who I am and what I want. No, I do not think that I could handle a guy that travels for a living unless he was just a side kind of thing. I am really physical and I am looking for someone that can give me that. I do not think someone who travels would really be able to give me that unless they were perfect for me in every other way.
Man: Well, fortunately, I happen to be perfect ;) Seriously though, that was a highly self-aware answer and I can relate about being physical… perhaps that is all better discussed over a drink. What is your number?
WoMan: *silence*
Man: Saw this video and thought that it was almost as adorable as you *kitten video*
WoMan: *silence*
Man: Us not talking for two weeks is going beyond playing hard to get. You’re going to drive me into the arms of several other women at this rate ;)
WoMan: JaJa, well, that is not necessarily a bad thing. I am sure other women can satisfy you. how was your fourth?
Man: First you ignore, now you will not even fight for me? Seriously, at this rate I will have to go back to single on facebook.
WoMan: JaJa, I am just the worst, huh? Maybe you just need to kidnap me and take me out… ;)
Man: Agreed, meet me in in Cambridge, I will bring the duct tape and we can get our Stockholm Syndrome on. But, just for the record, I am a sweet shy boy and I find this all very troubling… ;)
WoMan: JaJaJa, I am sure you are, but I bet that you are secretly a trickster
Man: JaJa, absolutely, I will be traveling again soon so if you would like to keep talking my number is …. what’s yours? Todd
WoMan: Silence for 3 days
Man: Or did you just want to be my online buddy, know me by an avatar via an app on facebook and have an online chat room wedding if we really hit it off?
WoMan: Well, I adore the idea of a chat room wedding. I am picking out my dress as we speak ;) Forgive me if I am a little nervous about the age difference. I am honestly just a kid and the idea of going out with some one that much more mature than myself is a little scary…
Man: JaJa, well, I have not eaten anyone this week, I promise. And even as charming as I am, there is only so much trouble that I can be on the phone, so I think that you are relatively safe.
WoMan: Silence
Man: If you are really that nervous/shy, then you can call me from a block number at a pre-arranged time. Once you talk to me, you shall love me ;) Yes, that is arrogant, yet it is true.
WoMan: She texts him
5
Man: Three copy paste opener all in the same msg
WoMan: Wow! Those were some interesting messages, you certainly make yourself stand out!
Man: Lol, you’re welcome… technically, my $3/hr foreign assistant sucks ass and was suppose to only send you one of those selected at random. But, hey, whatever works, I guess. He shall learn eventually. I will be in Colorado in ten, perhaps we should explore whether I stand out over a drink.
WoMan: Yeah, I am down. So, your assistant wrote those messages for you?
Man: JaJa, no, I wrote them. He misused them like a retard. Anyway, you seem reasonably cool about the whole thing, my number is… what is yours?
6
Man: Hi, I just wanted to tell you that if I had the emotional maturity for a relationship, then you would totally be at the top of my list.
WoMan: Have you seen The Omen? I think you might be him.
WoMan: I am not attractive, it is all photoshop. I am really a 400lb black woman… no, scratch that, 400 lb black man
Man: JaJa, so you have not only assigned me supernatural powers, but you have also told me that I am hot enough to turn gay for?! Wow, you must be quite impressed with me ;)
WoMan: Supernatural powers?! That’s what you get from me calling you Damien the Anti-Christ? Well, at least you are positive. I hate having to log back on here, I never get on. Here is my # if you want to keep talking
7
Man: Something about exposing her to his awesomeness his message was not provided
WoMan: Lucky for you that exposing me to your awesomeness can consequently expose you to mine. I think it is a win-win. Do you come with a name?
Man: Yes, I come with a name, a personality, and a lot of obnoxiousness. I am fully featured ;) The name is Todd, the rest is better discussed over a drink sometime, don't you think?
WoMan: Your sarcasm sounds reminiscent of mine. I like it.
Man:I am flattered, but I am also traveling, so the drink will have to wait now Perhaps phone numbers though so we can talk and set something up when I return. Mine is … what’s yours?
WoMan: Todd, I am brand new to this online dating world, so I do not know the proper protocol. Let’s start off with emails, then we can progress to phone numbers. One step at a time … her email
Man: JaJa, or you can message lots of guys on here, realize I am better than all of them and send your phone number when you feel comfortable doing so ;) No rush
WoMan: Okay, since you are the best(self-declared) impress me… her number
8
Man: Most random… profile… ever… but I think I liked it? I am new to Boston as well and getting lost is always better with good company ;)
WoMan: There is too big of an age gap, sorry. Instead of attempting to subdue a teenage, you shold go for someone your own age. The maturity level and common interest just are not there. I know girls my age who listen to Justin Bieber. Do you really want that? Can you imagine being denied from a bar because your girlfriend is too young? That would be embarrassing for me at your age. You can do better. Go for someone that is mature enough to care for someone other than themselves and Justin Bieber.
Man: Funny, that is the first time anyone has ever mentioned age as an issue and… I haave dated girls from 18 to 37. Guess that is the difference between meeting someone online as a statistic versus in person as a PERSON. I personally do not mind the age gap and I also do not mind having girl friends as we well as girl friends. In fact, given my line of work, it would be refreshing. So if age is an issue for you, that is fine. It is not an issue for me. I have known, dated, and been friends with girls of all ages. Congratulations, that is the first mature and serious message I have written on this site.
WoMan: Silence
He forgets about it then randomly hits her up again, having forgot their history.
Man: Hey little troublemaker
WoMan: This is not your first message to me
Man: JaJa, yes, I am aware of that. I just thoughtI would remind you that I am interesting and amazing ;)
WoMan: Do not be obnoxious and only bother if you are interested in something serious. If I am dating someone your age, I expect it to be going somewhere. I am not saying that you are old. I am saying that you are too old for me.
Man: JaJa, I think I can act my age. I am in New York City for the weekend, but perhaps we can grab a quick bite when I return. My number is …. what is yours? Todd
9
Man: I would like to snuggle your brains out.
WoMan: Hah, you got my attention. I am open to the possibility.
Man: Sounds good, shall we try a drink garnished with witty banter sometime soon?
WoMan: Sure, a coffee would be great too
Man: Sounds good, my number is … what’s yours? Todd
10
Man: JaJa, I am flattered, but I think that we should get to know each other a bit better first
WoMan: Sorry, I am not sure what you mean. I do not think I messaged you before.
Man: Well, you describe me in such glowing terms in your profile ;)
WoMan: Lol, so this is your pick up line?
Man: If by pick up line you mean casual flirtation with an intriguing girl, then maybe. The girl seems pretty okay… so far :p
WoMan: JaJa, good one
WoMan: Are you European? You look kind of Italian.
Man: Lol, I am actually American, but thanks. Are you adventurous?
WoMan: I am adventurous lol. What about you? What brought you to Oz?
WoMan: Where in the US are you from?
Man: I am from Colorado originally and my company does a lot of business in Australia. How do you feel about asking one another questions over drinks and soft lighting rather than the glare of a computer screen?
WoMan: Drinks sound good
WoMan: I love Colorado. I went to Breckenridge to ski twice.
CLOSE
11
Man: Sorry, I could not objectify you any longer without sending a message ;)
WoMan: Lol, opening with a half compliment/insult, very courageous and a touch arrogant. As a ferver feminist, I am not sure if you have the balance right, but your audacity did bring out a chuckle. Your profile does resonate a little with mine. Importantly though, I am up for a challenge any time, so I say bring it on ;)
Man: Lol, thank you for the detailed analysis of my rather flippant message. I am hoping meeting yo shall be more pleasure than challenge, but I too am open to the possibilities ;)
WoMan: Nice(and reassuring) to see some self awareness in acknowledging your message was rather flippant :) Still curious about your profile though: Making $$$ while having fun on a typical Friday night? Could you please clarify as to what exactly you do for a living?
Man: Well, part of my job involves networking with high-value clients. Hopefully that helps satisfy your curiosity somewhat. If you want a longer answer, I would rather give it over drinks eventually than induce more carpal tunnel right now ;)
WoMan: You have not allayed my concerns about your potentially shady occupation, but I can concur on needing to reduce the risk of carpal tunnel. So happy to meet for a drink
CLOSE
12
Man: Hey little troublemaker
WoMan: And how have you already determined that I am a troublemaker?
Man: It is just a hunch. I dare you to deny it.
WoMan: Oh no, there is no denying whatsoever jaja
WoMan: Good Instincts ;)
Man: My instincts say we would have fun over a drink
WoMan: Do they? I do not drink.
WoMan: JaJa, I am joking. Drinking is one of my top five.
CLOSE
13
Man: I am deeply in love with your superficial appearance.
WoMan: Well, thank you, it seems like we would get along too.
Man: We just might. What is your view on witty banter and drinks with a cute boy?
WoMan: It has been a while since I have had all three in the same room, but I am down.
CLOSE
14
Man: Hi, I feel you appear attractive and consequently would like to explore the possibility of enhancing your life by means of exposure to my awesomeness. K thx bye ;)
WoMan: Do you think that much awesomeness could safely fit in one room? It sounds like it might be dangerous.
Man: Who knows? The reward would probably worth the risk, wouldn’t you agree? Feeling adventurous?
WoMan: If there could really be a place with that much awesome capability it would definitely be worth the risk. As for adventurous, I am more times than not.
Man: JaJa, sounds good, what is your view on witty banter and drinks with a cute boy?
WoMan: Drinks, witty banter, and a cute boy? I think they go together like Bert and Ernie, chocolate, peanut butter, and beer at a baseball game. It is just another perfect combination and everyone needs it in their life.
15
WoMan: Are you for real?
Man: Lol, no I am fake. This is all a dream and I am too good to be true ;)
WoMan: Lol, you are pretty amusing, I like it
Man: Glad you like me… feeling adventurous?
WoMan: I am always feeling adventurous… are you?
Man: Definitely, whats your view on witty banter and drinks with a cute boy?
WoMan: I would not be opposed to that
16
Man: You are adorable, fingers crossed that you are not crazy ;)
WoMan: JaJa *she sends a link to youtube video where it explains the hotter the girl is the crazier she is*
Man: JaJa, so should I be concerned about you?
WoMan: (:
Man: JaJa, that was cheeky. You seem pretty okay so far… perhaps we should explore the possibiity of enhancing your life by means of exposure to my awesomeness ;)
WoMan: Sure! Give me your best shot! :)
Man: JaJa, I would love to. Are you adventurous?
WoMan: Yes.
Man: Cool, what is your view on drinks and witty banter with cute boys?
WoMan: There are worse things!
CLOSE
17
WoMan: Do you think you could keep up with a confident and hot girl?
Man: Haha sure I am all for witty banter with someone who I read as potentially interesting and adventurous
WoMan: So first lets start with a formal introduction, I am xxx and you are?
Man: Hey xxx I’m Todd, are you as feisty as you are at a glance?
WoMan: Well, Todd, I am feisty that’s for sure, like to keep people on their toes. But, I do have a sweet side too, reserved for those that deserve it.
Man: Sounds good to me… so tell me xxx, what is your view on drinks and witty banter with cute boys?
WoMan: Well, I do not drink often just for health reasons. Witty banter in general is fun, with cute boys is a plus, but I would prefer banter with one person and really get to know him.
Man: I am open to that as well, my number is xxx Todd, what’s yours?
18
Man: Hi, I feel you appear attractive and consequently would like to explore the possibility of enhancing your life by means of exposure to my awesomeness. K th bye ;)
WoMan: Wow, youre quite a confident fellow
Man: Haha, my mommy use to tell me “you certainly do not have any self concept issues” I am currently crossing my fingers and hoping that you too are both confident and excellent
WoMan: Haha, I am
Man: Sounds good to me, what is your view on drinks and wity banter with cute boys?
WoMan: lol, I do not drink
Man: Respect. It must be tough at time working in the nightlife… We’ll have to elect a different activity and intoxicate each other with charm and personality instead ;)
WoMan: Yup!
Man; Haha, in that case, let’s go with a quick, healthy snack and undisclosed adventure if we decide we just cannot get enough of one other. The witty banter is non-negotiable though…. ;)
WoMan: Lol, that could be fun
Man: Sounds good, my number is xxx Todd, what’s yours?
19
Man: Oh Dear Lord
WoMan: HRM will do
Man: Please tell me HRM means something witty and cocky like her majesty ;)
WoMan: Her Royal Majesty :)
Man: haha I can appreciate a little arrogance in a girl.. are you also adventurous?
WoMan: Well, I just came back fro spending 3 weeks by myself in India :)
WoMan: Most indians I met thought I was crazy for doing that, but I had an amazing time.
Man: Sounds like a fun time… so tell me what is your view on drinks and witty banter with cute boys?
WoMan: Hmm… Sounds like something that would not cause me too much suffering ;)
CLOSE
Why'd you designate her as "WoMan". Are these from Jeff or Todd?
Todd
Nice. JaJa
These are spectacular. The offhanded arrogance is panache
I feel like a fag posting all of these without at least contributing one of mine.
Here is my last online dating close, just did a couple hours ago.
STORY: That smile, those eyes, and what a butt! But, allow me to quit looking in the mirror real quick and be curious about you for a sec… how have your adventures been today so far? Not too uneventful, I hope
HB: (2 days later) Hmm.. did your question all ready expire?
STORY: Never, my questios are eternal, like my soul.
HB: It was pretty uneventful.
STORY: Well, now that I am here, things are looking up. I am the eventfulizer, I make eventful happen ;D
STORY: You are cute, by the way, I will do my best to focus in spite of your beauty.
STORY: It should not be a problem, not even a little bit ;)
HB: Well, it is fairly eventful to get a message from a 99 year old guy. Does not happen that often, so, I guess you have come thru your claims all ready.
STORY: I only wrote 99 because I could not list my age as immortal. Ugh, what a nuasance, this okcoopid thing.
STORY: *nuisance
HB: Lol, that is all I got to say.
STORY: Funny picture, by the way, you look so official. I feel like I should salute you back (she is doing a salute in her picture, she is in the Air Force)
STORY: I will just take you out to the beach and salute you there because I love the ebach too much, I would not want to hang out anywhere else.
HB: Why do you love the beach? Are you into swimming, kayaking, fishing, or ?
STORY: The waves, the sound of the ocean, the breeze, the beach surfer hippie squatter chill atmosphere, and, of course, being half-naked ;) lol I enjoy the chillness of it all.
STORY: I feel really connected to it, considring that I was born there.
STORY: What do you love about the beach? I am guessing all the things you asked me if I like? Or perhaps because you love using your flyboard? Lol, those things are crazy! Nvr usd one, but they look nutz!
HB: :-) you sound like a man who lives at the beach. Well, time for me to eat dinner. Good Night!
HB: Lol, I was close! Night.
STORY: okay, let’s exchange numbers and downgrade to texting. My number is 5102967535. What is yours? I can send you a text later or you can send me one. And afterwards, you can officially say you have one beach bum friend, you are so cool now.
HB: Btw... You reply too fast for me!!!! :-)
STORY: I am Jaime, by the way. My name means I love in French :D
HB: 1-800-Manwhore Paula is the name. Text me if you dare
STORY: I will try to slow down, but I just get so excited by girls named Paula, I apologize. I am quite daring, ciao.
HB: ;-)
I plan on texting her the following text
- Sup, it is I love. Question for you, is your last name Abdul?
- That would be nutz!
I am deeply in love with your superficial apperance has got to be one of the best compliments ever crafted.
Dude's game is def on point, his 3girlsaday product is really good.
For anyone who has been following along, here is the conclusion with the HB I posted my online close of.
STORY: Sup, it is I love.
STORY: Is your last name Abdul?
STORY: That would be nutz!
HB: Is your last name Pressly? That would be even more nuts… however, if the is yes I would like to let you know I think you are very pretty.
STORY: *try to send pic of me smiling three times but my phone sucks and keeps getting me plain faced*
STORY: Tried to send you photo of me smiling, but idk, my equipment is like the Air Foce, it sucks.
HB: Hmm, I think you are an imposter.
STORY: No, I am not a poster, although if you want, you could print those those pictures out and put them up on your wall.
HB: You know… you do not look like much of a beach bum.
STORY: Well, when we hang out at the beach, your suspicions shall be proven wrong.
STORY: You have not even seen my tattoo, I forgot about that.
HB: Is it something that shall convince me that you are a beach bum?
STORY: Not really, but you can only see it if I have my shirt off. Us beach bums, we walk around shirtless, so you shall get a look
HB: You kind of look like a military dude to me … just a hunch
STORY: What gave it away? Something subtle like my uniform?
HB: No, I did not notice any uniform… hmmm
STORY: I sent you three pics with my uniform on a few messages ago. Did you not get them? Hmm
HB: Oh, that uniform, okay, gotcha :b
STORY: JaJa! Durr moment
HB: Not really ;)
STORY: I will have to give you a smooch, maybe that shall help wake you up
STORY: :*
HB: So… I do not remember reading this on your profile, but based on the “jaja” I am guessing the beach you were born on was south of the border?
HB: Well, possibly north of Hawai’i...
STORY: Sí, I am Mexicano, señorita
HB: Make me huaraches por favor, this place has zero good Mexican food
STORY: No, there is one place, I forget what it is called. I was on a mission for a bit and was looking for a good Mexican food restaurant.
STORY: The one outside of Schofield Barracks was okay, but I found a good one in Aiea if I am remembering correctly.
STORY: I do not cook, at least not well, that is what I got you for ;)
HB: Sigh…
STORY: JaJa, I got you sigh’ing all ready? That is hot
STORY: We have not even met in person yet.
HB: Dude, that was lament
STORY: I gave it a more fun meaning in my mind.
STORY: You do not need to lament, I can make everything better.
HB: You cannot make me huaraches.. I fail to see how.
STORY: We can make them in my kitchen. No guarantee on the quality though
HB: Hmmm
STORY: You better not be shy and actually try though. I will not let you in my kitchen ever again, lol
HB: Yikes! I am getting scared!
STORY: Jaja, you are being such a pussy
STORY: Do not worry, you are in safe hands with me, nothing to be scared of except maybe feeling too good and having a happiness overload
HB: Lol, not if you kick me out of your kitchen
STORY: JaJa, well, my kitchen has expectations that must be met, my kitchen is not a slut. It is not me kicking you out, it is my kitchen.
STORY: My living room is a lot nicer, you can always go there for comfort and reassurement.
HB: Your living room is sluttier than your kitchen?
STORY: Nooooo, get your mind out of the gutter. Sluttier is not the correct word in this instance.
STORY: JaJa, I like the way you think, you are clever. You are fun to talk with, Paula, I mean that. I think my kitchen shall approve of you, no problem.
HB: Uh oh, now I have to worry about living up to your kitchen’s expectations… too much pressure!
STORY: You shall be fine, like I said, you are a fun girl. I believe in you. Besides, if my kitchen is being a cunt, you shall always have my living room.
STORY: Think I figured out how to get a smile photo of me now… here goes
STORY: Nvrmnd, it did not let me
HB: The camera is pissed off at you perhaps?
STORY: That makes the camera and you
STORY: The benefit of having someone at you is the makeup sex
STORY: The camera and I shall be getting it on now, apparently. It is the only way to makeup with someone
HB: Is that how you make up with everyone?! I am having a hard time believing you do that after you have a fight with your buddies...
STORY: My buddies are all types of appliances such as cameras, phones, macbooks, et cetera. I suffer electrical burns frequently.
HB: Dude, you need to get out more...
STORY: Yeah, there is a girl I might meet up and make huaraches with. It shall be a nice change of pace for me.
HB: Lol, I am not setting fot in your kitchen.
STORY: Okay, I will just carry you in there over my shoulder, your feet shall not touch anything while you are in there except when you are kicking me or something.
STORY: Jaja, watch out, do not kick the goods.
HB: Hmmm, perhaps I better ot set foot in your place either!
STORY: I have a lot of carring to do. It is a good thing that I am good at stuff like that.
STORY: You can be the damsel in distress and I can be the hero carrying you off to safety like a superhero movie. You can thank me later by buying me dinner at a nice Mexican restaurant.
HB: Hmm, not currently in distress, so no need for carrying
STORY: I would probably drop you anyways. I am actually not that strong. I was just trying to get a free dinner considering that I am a bum.
STORY: Let’s just meet and figure out the dinner thing then, so many details to comb over and I need some time to acquire a fine-tooth comb to help accomplish the task
HB: You are good at carrying stuff?
HB: Ok, but what details do you mean exactly?
STORY: Sure, if I feel the need to, I can carry lots of shit.
STORY: Details such as what is the best beach on the island, hiking trails, what my tattoo means, and who is paying for dinner(or groceries for the dinner)… you know, details, on par with world politics
HB: Let’s flip a coin to decide who pays for dinner. Heads you pay, tails… you pay
STORY: How about I just order a bunch of food
STORY: Excuse myself to the restroom
STORY: And never come back?
STORY: Yeah, the coin thing is fine with me, sounds like a plan
HB: (next day) Sorry, I was sitting on my bed while texting and I just fell asleep…
This is where I left it because I am not in Hawai’i right now. I am currently setting things up for when I get back to Hawai’i then I will have girls waiting for me. She is one of three girls I have to meet up with me so far. I got her hooked though. If I were on the island, then I would call her and just set up plans and fclose her on the date. Anyways, this is the closest I can get to the close considering I am overseas right now and I am not around women. I plan on letting her know about my situation in the ensuing text, but am tired oftyping thsi shit, I think you get the point of what is going on with what I have provided. I hope you guys got something out of my style here.
Story your texting is pretty atrocious mang. Todd's stuff is very solid tho
I was proud of it, I did not think it was bad at all. But, I guess not (: I always appreciate your input, MW.
Yeah, Todd is awesome, for sure. I think he is the most practical instructor from the RSD crew, he objectively breaks stuff down well.
Real nuts and bolts, real straightforward
You're missing the offhanded cockiness mang. You're too invested, you need to pull back a bit more and be cocky
I was thinking that about my rap lately... I need more hoops.
This one I felt like posting because this girl is one of the cuter ones I have closed. I thought it was interesting because of the days of gaps in between some of the messages and I think the average chode would mess it up. I am not the average chode, I am the unaverage type, big diff ;) Any fucking ways feast your eyes on what lies below, any comments would be appreciated.
STORY: That smile, those wet lips, and what a face! But, allow me to quit looking in the mirror real quick and be curious about you for a sec… how have your adventures been today so far? Nothing too daring, I hope, you seem like you might be a bit fragile
HB: HaHa
STORY: Tell me something unique about you
HB: I am not a natural blonde, your turn
STORY: I break my bed a lot, it is a bad habit.
STORY: What is your name?
She goes quiet for four or five days, I cannot remember, I sent her a reengage msg which I cannot recall, but two days later she responds.
HB: HaHa, My name is Ashli
HB: What is your name?
STORY: Jaime, it means I love in French, google it ;)
STORY: Does your name mean anything? Let me guess it means I hate in Swahili or some shit?(in retrospect, this was a bad msg I think, but I get away with it)
HB(two days later): It means coldhearted in angelspeak.(She lets me getaway with that retarded msg so obviously she is ready to be closed)
STORY: What is your number, coldhearted? It is impossible to converse on here. To text or speak on the phone would be multitudes easier, mine is 1-800-I LOVE PUSSY
STORY: Your angelspeak better be on point or I will never look at you the same again.
HB: HaHa *number*
Here are some pics of her
Yet another girl I am attempting to setup for when I come back from my deployment.
She's in Hawaii right? Those girls are trannies. No joke the one in the second pic got so far as to send me naked pics. Apparently she's really good at tucking her balls in but she was sending me full nudes I could not fucking tell. Big fake tits. Finally she tells me she's a tranny. Derp
So, you met this chick before?
Small World
these are truly great. just tried this as a re-engagement text after three texts she didn't respond to: "Us not talking for two weeks is going beyond playing hard to get. You’re going to drive me into the arms of several other women at this rate ;)" she answered in 30 minutes LOL.