Online LR: Fucked a chick without speaking to her

I match with this cutie on Tinder in between driving my stuff to my new place. Could I potentially get laid before moving my drawer?

For the forum regulars there are lots of lines from MW or Jihad, and some of my own. 

Tinder:

ME: I hope you make good pancakes

HER: The best!

HER: I hope you make good cocktails

ME: I’m a quick learner

HER: Are you pursuing a PhD now?

ME: No Bachelor’s. Late bloomer in terms of academic life what can I say

HER: Are you a model as well?

ME: No I did before. Now I’m balding and have a beer-belly but the spirit remains.

ME: Where can I see more of your pictures?

HER: I don’t have Instagram and don’t often take pictures of myself.

ME: Do you have WhatsApp?

She sends me her #.

WhatsApp:

ME: This is [BobbyB]

ME: Also Madonna’s backup dancer

HER: Hi [BobbyB]

HER: You have so many talents

ME: Many many

ME: What should I know before we bangout?

ME: Hangout*

ME: damn autocorrect

HER: Is this your unconscious mind speaking?

ME: My thumbs and unconscious mind

ME: I hope you forgive me

HER: Yea

HER: What do you want to know about me?

ME: All your deep dark secrets

ME: SIN number

ME: Blood type

ME: And whether or not you have an early morning tomorrow

HER: You must be a vampire

HER: I’m free tomorrow night

ME: What about tonight?

ME: My device is about to die this is annoying. Send me more pics of you

5mins pass

ME: If you don’t answer I’m telling everyone you can’t even swim

She sends me a pic of her on some kind of beach

HER: Send me one too

ME: Oh its like that huh

I send a pic of me as a kid wearing a chain sitting at a restaurant. I must be 12 or 13.

ME: The chain is 2 dragons surrounding a sword

HER: haha

HER: send me a recent one

I send her a recent pic in which im wearing a turtle neck

ME: Turtle neck for the fans

HER: I’m a fan :)

ME: Send me one you send your ex boyfriends at 2AM.

HER: But what if your phone got hacked and leaked to the press when I suddenly become a superstar?

ME: Ill be rich so you’re investing in my future

ME: please cooperate

HER: 2 secs

5 mins pass

ME: You having a photoshoot? I want in if you are

 She sends me a pic of her in a robe with half her naked body showing.

 ME: You’re gawjus

HER: Now I’m very horny

ME: Im home in 30 I want you there too.

HER: No way

HER: Cant make it

HER: Ill have to play with myself

HER: Send me your nudes too

I send her a pic.

ME: Which neighborhood are you in? This is purely for academic purposes

HER: [Neighborhood]

ME: Damn I’m there right now. (I wasn’t, LOL)

HER: Where?

I make up an intersect that’s not too close but not too far from her area.

ME: Where are you?

She sends me her intersect.

ME: That’s so close lol.

ME: Ok listen we got options here.

ME: I’ll expose what those are.

ME: 1) we play it safe and go on a normal date tomorrow and honor traditional judeochristian values

ME: 2) we go on a spontaneous date tonight and get a drink

ME: 3) I tell you about one of my fantasies which involves me fucking you in the dark without us speaking to each other

ME: Decide.

HER: Well I would want to fuck you in the light

ME: I am flexible

HER: Only if you have condoms (I fucked her raw but I did have condoms lol)

The rest of the convo is logistics and me making up excuses as to why im late (had to drive to hers)

I ring her doorbell and she answers wearing the same robe she had in the picture. We makeout instantly and start moving towards the back of the house where I assumed her room was. I usher her on her knees, stuff happens, I fuck her raw because I was getting soft in my condom. I cum on her back, grab her a towel, and introduce myself. LOL

She asks if I really was in her neighborhood and I say no. We both laugh and I ask her to feed me because I'm starving.