Skip to Content
Pickup Coaching
2 replies [Last post]
Joined: 02/27/2012

I'm going to bring up a quick point that so many people have trouble with.

Everyone thinks that other people's opinions matter.  And before you sit there and go, "DURR I DONT THINK THAT WAY" - Yes you do.

Otherwise the majority of people wouldn't be living with negativity, pain, fear, anxiety, lack/scarcity, stress, resistance, and forcing shit.

All I've got to live off of instead is peace, harmony, gratitude, love, serenity, abundance, acceptance...

Every time you think you KNOW something, stop yourself and say, "I understand this, am I applying it in my life?"

The word KNOW and the state of KNOWING are very powerful - they should never be used, unless you are living what you Know, without thought about it.  As the moment you use the word know, you make your knowledge become destructive for you.  You think you 'know' it, and so you continue your life without applying the knowledge.

With that said - other people's Opinions do not matter to you or your life at all, unless they hold some benefit for you.

Other people's opinions of you or anything else do not matter.  What other people think or do, does not matter to your life one bit.  Unless they can help you in some way.

People always ask other people for their opinions, as if going to a random person who knows nothing on the subject will somehow give you a valuable answer.  You don't go to poor people in order to understand how to get rich.  That's backwards thinking, and completely illogical.

Yet virtually everyone (including myself at times), takes other people's words and opinions as fact.  They judge a situation, which they never received any evidence on, and then suddenly they've become an expert.

This happens with our news sources all of the time.  The media puts out tons of emotional idiot fucking opinion and passes it off as fact.  Governments put out propaganda through gov favored news outlets, and people swallow this shit up without doing ANY DUE DILIGENCE.


The ONLY time you should EVER judge something, is when you absolutely have to in order to move forward.  And only then, should you do so AFTER you have collected all of the evidence and observed without any judgement or emotion towards it.


So again, other people's opinions do not matter, unless they can be of benefit to you in some way.

How benefit?  Well you look at everything which comes to you in life, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.  That means without opinion, commentary or emotion.  You see if there's any benefit to you in what they are saying, and if there is, then good - you've found something that can help you.

"Where's the benefit?  How does this help me?  Does this help me get what I want, or take me away from it?  What is it that I truly desire out of life?"

This goes the same for ANY TIME another person shows up in your life.  And this is also the way to deal with negativity from others.

What other people say or do, DOES NOT MATTER.  So don't create emotions out of what others say - even if it's negative, like they're coming at you to attack.  All you have to do, is look at that shit, without judgement, and see where the benefit is.

Everyone who is sent into your life, is there to teach you a lesson.  "Where's the benefit here?  What can I learn from this?  And how can I help here?"

When you approach interactions with other people like this, then you automatically become very strong.  You demonstrate that you are Not Controllable by others, as you will not allow any opinion, criticism, negativity or emotion into your mind at all, Without Your Permission.  Other people sense this strength, and look to you on a subconscious level for guidance.

People come to you and say or do things, because they were guided by their subconscious mind, and your subconscious mind - which recognized some value that could be gained out of the interaction.  Everything happens for a reason, every person is sent to help you in some way - this is the way of humanity and the way our subconscious minds are hard wired.

All you have to do is look for the reason.  "Where's the benefit?"


This brings me to COUNSEL.

If you go to learn something on a subject, the only people you should be asking and opening up to, are those who are successful in the area you desire to go.

Then it is no longer opinion, but it is counsel.

In these instances, are the only time you should open up and listen to someone else.

But here's the thing.  If YOU are that perceived expert, and someone comes to You for counsel - you must be VERY CAREFUL in the way you deliver your words.

If you go to help someone else without removing any traces of emotion and ego from your delivery, you end up hurting the other person - and mainly yourself.  Do not add any negative commentary or criticism to the other person, as not only does it hurt them in moving forward easily - it hurts YOURSELF.

Why?  Because by pointing out the flaws in other people - you condition and train your own subconscious mind to always look for what's wrong in other people.  AND ULTIMATELY IN YOURSELF.  You create self-fulfilling prophecies in your own life and reality, of lack, limitation, negativity, scarcity, hate, etc. fucking etc.

You don't focus on what you don't want in life.  You always focus on what you Desire.

So here's how to help other people when they come to you:

Find THREE things the other person is doing right.  Even if there is nothing, find three bullshit reasons - they sound nice derp, anything.

Then for every three things they do right, SUGGEST one thing you would do differently if you were in their position.

This is some deep mindset stuff - but the day to day application of it makes a HUGE impact on the way you live your life.

You've always got to be focusing on what others are doing right, not what they are doing wrong.  As you create in your reality what you think about.

Train your mind to always seek the positive and benefit of other people.

When you do this, you win at everything.  Over time of continual practice of stopping your judgements, and only seeking the benefit, you'll start to notice that you automatically create good outcomes in every area of your life.

Joined: 11/15/2013
Awesome post man! I tend to

Awesome post man! I tend to look for negatives in some people and i haven't gained ANYTHING from it. 

beargrizz's picture
Joined: 09/30/2012
Thank you

Thank you


“Cleverness devoid of wisdom is extremely dangerous and destructive.
Enlightenment consciously chosen means to relinquish your attachment to past and future and to make the Now the main focus of your life.  Through allowing, you become what you are: vast, spacious. You become whole. You are not a fragment anymore, which is how the ego perceives itself. Your true nature emerges, which is one with the nature of God"
- Tollester