Post your FUNNIEST texts!
Wed, 07/25/2012 - 03:15
Hey dudes! Surprised we don't have a thread for this yet. We're all trying to learn the same stuff and fuck up ALOT. At the same time I'm sure everyone has that GOLDEN text spree that is just fucking hilarious and you die laughing at your own brilliance. Let's see em boys! Post your most hilarious texts. Here's some of my recent ones.
Ashley
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Me: Ello muffinbottom, had the best Mexican last night...vengeance in the bathroom this morning.
Her: You sure know how to talk to a girl, don't you :P
Me: Pfft you've just never talked dirty before
Her: I'm gonna be honest here, you've rendered me speechless. I don't even know what to say lmao.
Her: ANYWAYS, are you free tomorrow?
Nicki
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Her: lamo I'm watching midnight in paris, it's pretty funny --> Directed by Woody Allen
Me: Woody Allen is a poon. Face my wood woman!
Courtney
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Her: Well I don't live anywhere near turtle jacks - 3 hours later
Me: I was afraid of this..I should of known that you live in Cambodia - 1 hour 20 mins
Her: I work down the street from it lol - 3 minutes
Me: Damn, just down the street from Cambodia! That's a lil far for me. Tj's is closer :b - 10 minutes
Her: Haha I clearly meant tjs - 1 minute
Me: Oh well then invite me over - 10 minutes
Her: I don't live anywhere near there and I don't have a license - 2 minutes
Me: What! You don't own a teleportation device. Where do you live. - 11 minutes
Her: Nope it's broken, like down the mountain.
Me: That's not TOO far. I mite be able to pick you up...for a sandwich. 8 work. - 14 minutes
Her: Where do you work? And how old are you lol - 4 minutes
Me: Mcdonalds and 42. My mom says I'm handsome and have potential. :b - 4 minutes
Her: Your too old for me - 1 minute
Me: But baby, I can change. - 1 minute
Her: You have special powers? - 1 minute
Me: I can make spider dogs - 1 minute
Her: Is that legal? - 1 minute
Me: Only on Thursdays in Cambodia. - 1 minute
Danijela
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Her: Have fun at the Mexican dinner I'm starving at work
Me: Ay! pmnk! You get the care package I mailed the other day. Sent it on a donkey wearing a sombrero
Her: No I did not get that care package cuz u don't know where I live lol
Me: Shit, that donkey swindled me out of $20 and awesome food. He said he knew your sis.
Me: What a jack ass <----Rofl so corny. I love it!!!!
Ashley
---------
Me: Ello muffinbottom, had the best Mexican last night...vengeance in the bathroom this morning.
Her: You sure know how to talk to a girl, don't you :P
Me: Pfft you've just never talked dirty before
Her: I'm gonna be honest here, you've rendered me speechless. I don't even know what to say lmao.
Her: ANYWAYS, are you free tomorrow?
Nicki
-------
Her: lamo I'm watching midnight in paris, it's pretty funny --> Directed by Woody Allen
Me: Woody Allen is a poon. Face my wood woman!
Courtney
------------
Her: Well I don't live anywhere near turtle jacks - 3 hours later
Me: I was afraid of this..I should of known that you live in Cambodia - 1 hour 20 mins
Her: I work down the street from it lol - 3 minutes
Me: Damn, just down the street from Cambodia! That's a lil far for me. Tj's is closer :b - 10 minutes
Her: Haha I clearly meant tjs - 1 minute
Me: Oh well then invite me over - 10 minutes
Her: I don't live anywhere near there and I don't have a license - 2 minutes
Me: What! You don't own a teleportation device. Where do you live. - 11 minutes
Her: Nope it's broken, like down the mountain.
Me: That's not TOO far. I mite be able to pick you up...for a sandwich. 8 work. - 14 minutes
Her: Where do you work? And how old are you lol - 4 minutes
Me: Mcdonalds and 42. My mom says I'm handsome and have potential. :b - 4 minutes
Her: Your too old for me - 1 minute
Me: But baby, I can change. - 1 minute
Her: You have special powers? - 1 minute
Me: I can make spider dogs - 1 minute
Her: Is that legal? - 1 minute
Me: Only on Thursdays in Cambodia. - 1 minute
Danijela
-----------
Her: Have fun at the Mexican dinner I'm starving at work
Me: Ay! pmnk! You get the care package I mailed the other day. Sent it on a donkey wearing a sombrero
Her: No I did not get that care package cuz u don't know where I live lol
Me: Shit, that donkey swindled me out of $20 and awesome food. He said he knew your sis.
Me: What a jack ass <----Rofl so corny. I love it!!!!
Wed, 10/31/2012 - 03:28
#1
Re: Post your FUNNIEST texts!
Lol can't believe this thread never took off:
Here's one from tonight:
Me: Paranormal 4 sounds scary. Do you like horror movies
Her: I do :) I used to watch them all the time
Me: But are you a good popcorn maker!
Her: I don't like to brag, but I can make pretty good popcorn ;)
Me: Well, as long as you're modest. I'm still scared of ghosts.
Me: Come help me fight them off!
Her: I don't know how good I am at fighting off ghosts but I'll try!
Me: Call 123-456-7891 for ghostbusters. You can hold my gun before I slime you.
Rofl
Here's one from tonight:
Me: Paranormal 4 sounds scary. Do you like horror movies
Her: I do :) I used to watch them all the time
Me: But are you a good popcorn maker!
Her: I don't like to brag, but I can make pretty good popcorn ;)
Me: Well, as long as you're modest. I'm still scared of ghosts.
Me: Come help me fight them off!
Her: I don't know how good I am at fighting off ghosts but I'll try!
Me: Call 123-456-7891 for ghostbusters. You can hold my gun before I slime you.
Rofl
Wed, 10/31/2012 - 07:03
#2
Re: Post your FUNNIEST texts!
I just have so many of them I don't even try anymore.
（￣へ￣）
（￣へ￣）
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Wed, 10/31/2012 - 16:33
#3
Re: Post your FUNNIEST texts!
Me: You are cute. Do you want to chat?
Her: Aw well thank you. I'm down to chat. How's your day going
Me: It's good, thanks. At work. So whats your major?
Me: please respond
Her: I'm studying city planning and economics. I'm in class right now actually haha sorry for the delay! What do you do?
Me: I think you should be an archaeologist. Im not sure i can trust you yet, i will tell you after our first date.
Me: please respond.
Her: Haha why do you think tht? Maybe. Oh, a man with rules, I like that.
Me: I have a large bone that needs to be examined by an archaeologist with good oral skills.
Her: Oh you just kille any shot you had with a bad pun.
Me: haha, real blowouts are good too. Im down to get to know you a little better too
Me: I dont think you are just fucking hate me after what i said, so i will proceed. It is nice to meet you! What is your name?
Her: Haha oh yes that seems sooo genuine. Hmmm my name is Kelsey. I'll let you proceed. This time.
Me: Ok well first of all ill judge you on your mirror pic. But it will be a positive judgement. I like your flat stomach.
Me: My name is Slava.
Me: Im actually a nice person and genuinely like being sweet. What are you doing this weekend?
Her: Aha. Well thank you. A flat stomach is a pretty legit quality, eh? I'll let you prove yourself there. We'll see how sweet you are. This weekend I am going to a wedding in Kansas City. It should be a good weekend. Yourself?
Me: Im going to gymnastics on saturday, other than that no plans. probably will end up playing pool in Electric Cowboy. I like your playfulness but Ill have to inspect your stomach upon meeting. If not this weekend, we can do it a different day, whats your number?
Her: Electric Cowboy? That's your scene. Interesting. Jesus I've never given my number out on here but I'm gonna go out on a limb for you.
Her: ***-***-****
-> Cool meetup, made out few times, failed to pull
Her: Aw well thank you. I'm down to chat. How's your day going
Me: It's good, thanks. At work. So whats your major?
Me: please respond
Her: I'm studying city planning and economics. I'm in class right now actually haha sorry for the delay! What do you do?
Me: I think you should be an archaeologist. Im not sure i can trust you yet, i will tell you after our first date.
Me: please respond.
Her: Haha why do you think tht? Maybe. Oh, a man with rules, I like that.
Me: I have a large bone that needs to be examined by an archaeologist with good oral skills.
Her: Oh you just kille any shot you had with a bad pun.
Me: haha, real blowouts are good too. Im down to get to know you a little better too
Me: I dont think you are just fucking hate me after what i said, so i will proceed. It is nice to meet you! What is your name?
Her: Haha oh yes that seems sooo genuine. Hmmm my name is Kelsey. I'll let you proceed. This time.
Me: Ok well first of all ill judge you on your mirror pic. But it will be a positive judgement. I like your flat stomach.
Me: My name is Slava.
Me: Im actually a nice person and genuinely like being sweet. What are you doing this weekend?
Her: Aha. Well thank you. A flat stomach is a pretty legit quality, eh? I'll let you prove yourself there. We'll see how sweet you are. This weekend I am going to a wedding in Kansas City. It should be a good weekend. Yourself?
Me: Im going to gymnastics on saturday, other than that no plans. probably will end up playing pool in Electric Cowboy. I like your playfulness but Ill have to inspect your stomach upon meeting. If not this weekend, we can do it a different day, whats your number?
Her: Electric Cowboy? That's your scene. Interesting. Jesus I've never given my number out on here but I'm gonna go out on a limb for you.
Her: ***-***-****
-> Cool meetup, made out few times, failed to pull
Wed, 10/31/2012 - 21:38
#4
Re: Post your FUNNIEST texts!
@Animal:
lol at the bb.com texts
lol at the bb.com texts
Wed, 11/07/2012 - 07:43
#5
Re: Post your FUNNIEST texts!
Her: Its babe not beb silly
Me: Here's To The Crazy Ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world - are the ones who DO! Think different. Apple.
Me: Love that quote)))
Probably melt her 18 yr old brain.
Me: Here's To The Crazy Ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world - are the ones who DO! Think different. Apple.
Me: Love that quote)))
Probably melt her 18 yr old brain.