The Power of Now... Inner Game/Giggle

This started off as a comment on the thread "Practicing the Power of Now" but I decided, since I'm REALLY passionate about the subject and the thread was a bit old, I wanted to make it it's own thread. I love Buddhagames talking about his meditation and the thought, "I don't deserve love." coming up, observing it, and GIGGLING ABOUT IT. SUPER Important.

I'm an outdoors person. I live in the desert but I know all the secret little places in the area that would blow your mind how beautiful they are. Little springs up in the desert mountains that make a boggy canyon where reeds and all sorts of trees grow. (Southern AZ desert) Oak, pine, sycamore, alder trees, you name it. I used to hike the trails in the mountains sometimes camping a night or two. Just by myself, wandering around.

Being completely honest, despite knowing some game and having a bit of success at it, I felt like a huge loser, incomplete, and I was looking for something. I didn't know what at the time. I was working a shit job. 10 hours a day, 50 hrs a week on salary, managing a stupid fuckin restaraunt that even the owner didn't care about cuz his life was a mess. The owner (my boss) had a kid, got married because of it, divorced, started seeing some absolute rubbish woman with three kids, preggers with another one from her ex who beat and abused her. Even more fucked up is one of those kids she got is inbred because she was raped by her uncle! ...In total this guy had five kids, zero boundaries and even less self respect. Let alone leadership.

People were quitting with no notice, leaving me to pick up the slack of my own job plus theirs. And I'm trying to build my own business on the side, on top of all that! Saying I was stressed doesn't even begin to describe it.

So I'm out by myself in the woods. Looking for some small nugget of sanity. Just chilling near this spring coming out of the mountains and a herd of deer comes down the side of the canyon. They all obviously know I'm there but they come down anyway and start drinking from the spring about 25 yards away from me. The forest service put a half 50gal drum in to collect the water so it was pretty much full. The deer started playing in the water with me sitting there. Literally jumping in it and splashing around... And I couldn't help giggling. Those deer were having so much fun just jumping in a cut-in-half 50 gallon drum of water. And that giggle somehow infected all the areas of my life, all the shit I was having to deal with. It just became a huge laugh. GOD BLESS THAT BS!  And I realized that the giggle was really coming from my joy in the moment and that was something that didn't come from any external source. Not the deer. Not the woods. Not the spring. Not nature in general. It came from ME. My hapiness is an internal thing. A choice I make.

I watched Mw's talk on T21C and heard him recommend The Power of Now and have to say a HUGE thank you to MW for pointing me toward reading Tolle. Tolle rationalized the whole thing i was wandering around in the woods looking for. It's a great read and very helpful.

This is just my point of view, take it as you will: The core of your inner game should come from that "INNER GIGGLE." Simple joy in playing in the moment.