quality relationships don't involve emotional leeching
A new concept I've been discovering...
My best relationships I have with people are positive, proactive, and present. Sure we discuss obstacles in our lives but the main goal is to attack the problem head on and learn from it. We enjoy each other's company and that in itself is healing.
At the other end of the spectrum there are people that think the point of friendships and relationships are an outlet to mentally masterbate and cry about their problems. These relationships are poisonous, and selfish. Projecting negativity and drama becomes the basis of the interaction instead of enjoying each other's presence.
As I've made huge emotional leaps within the last few months I've found that I don't want to be around emotional leeches anymore. Some of these relationships used to be double sided, because I was stuck in negativity for most of my teenage years. I've out grown these relationships and I don't have any problems and feelings I want to dwell on. That little bitch shit is not on my radar I don't feel it whatsoever.
Totally. I called out a longtime friend on exactly that this weekend. When we met I was shy, a virgin, and a classic nice guy. Over the years, I've realized he's a classic nice guy too, with all the emotional manipulation and baggage that comes with it. We got into yet a dumb argument and being the sensitive yet manipulative person he is he started making it bigger than it actually was. He started to lecture me but instead I cut him off and laid into him for like 15 minutes. I've literally never done that with him and after a while he just shut up and almost looked a little hurt. We'll see. But it felt good. I had to do that with another good friend last year and our relationship is the better for it now. But at the end of the day, my improvement is the most important thing. If old friends don't get that... oh well.
Excellent.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Totally. I called out a longtime friend on exactly that this weekend. When we met I was shy, a virgin, and a classic nice guy. Over the years, I've realized he's a classic nice guy too, with all the emotional manipulation and baggage that comes with it. We got into yet a dumb argument and being the sensitive yet manipulative person he is he started making it bigger than it actually was. He started to lecture me but instead I cut him off and laid into him for like 15 minutes. I've literally never done that with him and after a while he just shut up and almost looked a little hurt. We'll see. But it felt good. I had to do that with another good friend last year and our relationship is the better for it now. But at the end of the day, my improvement is the most important thing. If old friends don't get that... oh well.
Yup and the emotional baggage is just a buzzkill, it's like arguing with a 7th grader.
like cmon bro I don't want to talk about your feelings lol
Totally. I called out a longtime friend on exactly that this weekend. When we met I was shy, a virgin, and a classic nice guy. Over the years, I've realized he's a classic nice guy too, with all the emotional manipulation and baggage that comes with it. We got into yet a dumb argument and being the sensitive yet manipulative person he is he started making it bigger than it actually was. He started to lecture me but instead I cut him off and laid into him for like 15 minutes. I've literally never done that with him and after a while he just shut up and almost looked a little hurt. We'll see. But it felt good. I had to do that with another good friend last year and our relationship is the better for it now. But at the end of the day, my improvement is the most important thing. If old friends don't get that... oh well.
Yup and the emotional baggage is just a buzzkill, it's like arguing with a 7th grader.
like cmon bro I don't want to talk about your feelings lol
I try to stay present because this isn't a superiority thing but I can't help but not want to be around these people.
Totally. I called out a longtime friend on exactly that this weekend. When we met I was shy, a virgin, and a classic nice guy. Over the years, I've realized he's a classic nice guy too, with all the emotional manipulation and baggage that comes with it. We got into yet a dumb argument and being the sensitive yet manipulative person he is he started making it bigger than it actually was. He started to lecture me but instead I cut him off and laid into him for like 15 minutes. I've literally never done that with him and after a while he just shut up and almost looked a little hurt. We'll see. But it felt good. I had to do that with another good friend last year and our relationship is the better for it now. But at the end of the day, my improvement is the most important thing. If old friends don't get that... oh well.
Interesting. That's a decently advanced skill set. Good job
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
It's true.
One thing to keep in mind though is that if these guys are actually your friends and you're gonna lay into them like this, make sure you direct them to listening to Tolle/meditating. I've been this guy before cause I was in so much emotional pain that I just wanted to talk about it for some reason. I didn't know how to deal with it. I'd try to keep it to myself as much as I could, but I was straight up addicted to various forms of negativity. Not saying you have to put up with it. Telling them to stop is definitely the right way to go. But make sure to point them in the right direction to learn how to overcome it and realize it's not necessarily their fault they're in that situation. Addiction to negativity is incredibly common.
Not your problem though obviously.
very good man. seems like you're well on your way to be fully in charge of your life.
It's true. One thing to keep in mind though is that if these guys are actually your friends and you're gonna lay into them like this, make sure you direct them to listening to Tolle/meditating. I've been this guy before cause I was in so much emotional pain that I just wanted to talk about it for some reason. I didn't know how to deal with it. I'd try to keep it to myself as much as I could, but I was straight up addicted to various forms of negativity. Not saying you have to put up with it. Telling them to stop is definitely the right way to go. But make sure to point them in the right direction to learn how to overcome it and realize it's not necessarily their fault they're in that situation. Addiction to negativity is incredibly common. Not your problem though obviously.
yeah good point. I realized today that the next level is to be patient and influence positivity and try to help out if I can. I was stuck in negativity and where would I be without my mentors that were willing to project awesomeness upon me.
At the same time I'm not gonna stick around forever and let these people hold me back