i met a Russian chick, it was working out well till I found out she was a virgin. How do I handle this?
I swear this shit just falls into my lap.
So, I go to this open mic kind of regularly (4 times now) and they know me by name and my shows are pretty memorable.. to say the least..
i ended up matching with this 20yr Russian who has been in the states for 6mo roughly. We start talking, I move to text within the same day and we banter a bit, I basically get her hot and fresh for the open mic.
She shows up, we drink together (the bar tender is very trusting lol) and watch people preform, I kill it, she kills it, we have a good time. As it's winding down I say "yo what are you doing after this" she didn't say anything fast enough so I say "great, sounds like you're coming with me to this arcade bar" she doesn't respond immediately so I say "unless you're scurred" she says she isn't so the date is set for afterward.
After, I lead her out and we head to that bar. She's Russian and the arcade bar only had beer, which is like soda for her. So I try to get her into a couple bars and fail (we were in a popular neighborhood so things are pretty strict). But I manage to be sly and get her wine at this divey bar.
Once i I do (I told her to go straight to the bathroom while I order and stay there till I have our drinks) we head toward this booth in the corner and I say "look, in order for this to work we need to 'pretend' to be all over each other". She goes "oh yeah?" And I say yeah, stare at her eyes a sec and go in for the makeout.
We do that THE WHOLE TIME. The whole time I'm trying to get her more revved up (it's working), things like growling, teasing, touching.
It all definitely works but any move for the tits or into her pants she goes cold. She kept getting embarassed and saying no to my hand going up her shirt or down her pants. I try to get her into my mindset in the fact that nobody can see or hear us in the corner.
So I had to warm her back up from that a couple of times. I get her obsessed over me, to the point that I went to the bathroom with the rule that she not finish her wine till I get back. she does, so I act like I can't believe it (playfully) and say that she's gonna be punished. I tell her my little dog acts like this and the only way to get through to her is no attention so I sit down and look out the window next to our booth.
she takes the bait and starts trying to kiss me (I avoid), she sits on my lap, and starts kissing my neck (my weaknesss).
So I say we're leaving, get your stuff (guitar and jacket) she says no we only have five minutes (she made up this rule that we had to be done by midnight since she lives in jersey). So I finally kiss her, help her put on her jacket, grab her earrings and guitar and say let's go.
I get her to be all all over me for a couple blocks while I try to find a corner to pull her into and seal the deal.
I find this little stairway down into a safe place, head her down, throw her against the wall and start making out with her. I pull up her shirt, play with her tits, suck on them and get her all kinds of horny.
After a minute I whip out the cock and put it in her hand, she starts jacking me off (very nice), spits in her and and keeps going (hell yeah). I try to get her to suck it a couple of times but the second time she says I'm not safe (freaking Europeans and their condom blowjobs). This is a valid complaint so I don't push that fact but I push my hand down her pants and start fingering her. she has a pretty intense reaction.
She likes it, she's very wet, but every time I go into her she gasps and tenses up. I tell her I've got her hit it didn't help. She likes it but after a minute she goes unresponsive. So I look up. She's got this completely blank look on her face and when I looked at her she looked away (versus looking me in the eye like every other time before).
Maybe this is me being a pussy, but I know something is up so I say something along the lines of "you don't like this, do you?" She shakes her head and proceeded to tell me SHES A VIRGIN. So obviously she feels gross and used and not turned on at all. I button her up (keep myself out) and say something along the lines of " woah that makes no sense, but you shoulda told me!!" And then I didn't say much but basically said "that makes no sense based on your actions, reactions, etc. you gave me the wrong impression and this makes sense why you wouldn't want it to be your first time."
we talk about it a bit, she's really smart and got into this big university for physics and it comes out that she's kissed but has literally done NOTHING ELSE. Since my cock is still out I act like it's the 8th wonder of the world and (very playfully, mind you) say well this is what it's like.
We talk, I let her know it's not her fault, I wouldn't want to do it this way.. in face I don't want to do her this way.
So I take her and start leading her to the subway station home. We walk and talk for a bit. She holds one of my hands the whole time (still affectionate for daddy) and we have a bit of conversation with her clutching me and whatnot.
She says she thought I was a fuckboy because I was so charismatic (the way she said it with her tone/body language/etc) but she doesn't think I am one (from the horses mouth).
I keep the convo light and fun the whole time. And tease her (about other things) to where I've got her pulling me in and grabbing my hand to hold it and whatnot. Basically saying "nah we didn't fuck but I still want you"
I don't want to bore anyone (this is already a long post) so we had small talk and I really dialed it down, though I kept up the light and playfulness so she wouldn't feel bad and she started to lighten up.
I realized if she needed to get to jersey it would be like 2hrs at this time of night so I called her an uber and sent her home.
While she was waiting she was all on me. Holding my hand or cuddled into me. It was nice and when it showed up I led her to it, put her guitar in the back seat, pulled her aside because I told her the driver was getting paid and didn't care.
She kissed me first and we made out by the trunk of the uber. I told her to let me know she made it. She did and now I'm trying to think of what to do next...
i accidentally stole her nice earrings (put them in my pocket when we left the bar). So maybe I'll use those as an excuse to get together?
I don't know.
So here are my big things:
1. She's a virgin?!? It's been so long since I've had to think about this.
2. I think she still digs me but how do I move forward?
2a. I honestly think she's very embarassed she's so inexperienced and this is what she's most self-conscious of. At one point after she denied me she said (cock was still out) "does this mean you don't want to talk anymore?"
3. Did I go somewhere I shouldn't've?
4. How to proceed in my interactions with this chick? The same, more light, more serious, like what (I haven't known her long, in face just met her tonight really)?
this one is a doozy for me. I think I can lay this girl but I've never had a situation like this (I've never fucked a virgin). Also, I don't want to ruin going to the open mic for her because of me.
I don't know how much of this whole "virgin" thing I believe. If she's hot, 20yrs old, european, and has given blowjobs before....(she said she wasn't condom safe or something like that), then I don't think so. You met her on tinder too right...lol?
You said you were fingering her for about a minute and she was excited about it and enjoying it I assume? Then after the minute she has a blank expression? Is that right?
Were you dirty talking during this minute or silently fingering her? What else were you doing with your hands and body and voice during this?
Talking about her life and yours was the right thing to do, you brought comfort when it was needed, but you made a small fuck up in one aspect.
I'll let you know when you answer my questions lol. But this virgin thing, I don't buy it.
Well she is 20, 7.5/10, and hasn't given a blowjob before. Her words were "You know you're not safe right?" after my second time of trying to guide her to my cock. I don't exactly remember what I did (I was tipsy) but we started making out again and this third time is when I opened her pants and went for it.
Afterward, part of the conversation we were having I asked how she could be a virgin and what not and that's how we got into the subject of school. Apparently she's focused on her studies and never had the time for it and the most she's done is kiss. I'm inclined to believe her "virgin" story because she was a HORRIBLE kisser, the only time I've expierenced the kissing skills she had was when I was this chicks first kiss 3 or 4 years ago.
In answer to your questions:
- We did finger for a minute. This was after her telling me 2 times in the bar that was "against the rules"
- She did enjoy it for a hot second before, yes, she went blank face. She quit touching my dick during this time when I started. And any time my finger went up and in she had a sharp intake of breath and would tense up.
- I didn't dirty talk well during this, I'll admit that. I mostly grunted (horrible I know) and said little things "that's good" (1/5 rating there)
- My hands were exploring her body during this whole street interaction. Switching between strings and sensual during this time. They were everywhere hair/Ass/tits/etc.
pretty sure my fuck up was probably saying "you don't like this, do you?" And saying that she didn't want to do it there and in those conditions for her first time and neither would I. I was trying to be comforting :p but maybe it was too much or the wrong thing.
Here's how the exchange from the end of the night went:
her: back safe and sound! Thanks for the evening!
30min later me: glad you made it safe, try not to dream of me tonight
me: tesuyu *kiss wink*
(^russian word to sign texts/letters/emails translates to kisses. Thanks Russian coworker lol)
Sooo I think I want to reach out tonight or tomorrow. Today might be better for damage control and so she doesn't feel used. Maybe something like
me: my jacket still has your aroma floating around. Really made me crave a *sweet Russian pastry of some sort*. How's your day going *cute nickname*?
me: *sends pic of earrings* thought I gave these back to you.. I bet you planted them just to see my beard again
(^she really enjoyed my beard)
me: *earring pic* thought I gave these back to you last night.. are you and my beard conspiring to see each other again?
might go with the first or something similar then hit her with the earring thing tomorrow so she doesn't think I stole them and planned this or something. I don't know think I'll wait around for threeish ours before I solo game it.
Send the first earings one about seeing your beard
Ok you might actually have a virgin. Well, no, you fucked up in the fact that you didn't try to fuck her again right after you guys did comfort talk. Comfort is exactly what she needed and after the air was settled you should've tried again. Maybe even in a different location like your place or hers.
Remember, girls want you to want them. At the end when she asked if this means you dont like her, she was telegraphing her being upset that you didn't try again. She WANTED you to try again
Her dropping the virgin card on you obviously rattled you and you didn't know how to handle it properly. In this case you went for the right move of comforting her and talking about your lives but it was coming from the wrong state of mind. You just wanted to "solve" the issue and get out of there.
Proceed as normal, be cool about it, get her out again and smash. Give her, her first experience if thats what you want. Calling her would be even better if you ask me
Jihad covered all the bases. Most importantly, don't mention the virgin thing again to her. The whole interaction was solid ;)
you should fuck her ... just saying.
Haha you guys are absolutely the best.
The only reason I didn't do the pull to my place or hers was that I live in Brooklyn and she lives in jersey. That's a trek..logistics in NYC with no car is bs guys. I need to save money and move to the city.
Imma send the text. Crazy busy at work today so I can't call.
Definitely gonna fuck the shit out of her once I get logicsics settled.
It's be a good idea to frame it as her place being too far and that she should stay over if that ever comes up
A date at yours or hers is definitely doable. Make it fun and exciting.
"Obnoxious sundaes and movies at mine hunny bunz. We're watching Tangled. I identify hard SO hard with Flynn. I'm just looking for that princess to change this bad boy in me namsayin?"
The call is just for more comfort and so you get out of that fuckboy paradigm and will go a long ass way wth her with where you're at (Thank you Aeqypoo ;)