Re-Setting the Relationship Dynamic
A little while ago (maybe 3 weeks), I had pulled a girl, didn't get the lay, and then saw her again, and didn't get the lay, and then caught myself texting her from a needy place.
I was basically caught in a downward cycle of neediness, and I couldn't seem to get out of it. I tried a ton of re-framing texts, I tried being a "dick", I tried a bunch of shit that was all kind of pointless. Because of that age-old quote from tyler, "Who you are is always shining through"
If you're in a needy place, you're going to come across needy, and whatever "extra" you're doing is just going to be spinning wheels, and further churning that neediness cycle- you can't hide from it.
So I decided to let go a little. Completely stopped texting//talking to her for about 3 weeks. In that time I fucked two other girls, and just did my thing. Most importantly, I stopped caring.
I had spoken to a buddy about the situation and he was just like, "Dude, you know this. I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but you just have to stop caring. But you can't fake it. You have to truly just stop caring"
Fast forward to last night.
Randomly text her what's up, cause I didn't think I was going to pull. She responds in two seconds "come over". I immediately grab a cab, show up, and I go in with just a very "demanding" and kind of "challenging" demeaner. I was just a little bit resentful (not enough to poison anything) but just enough to give me some edge.
We watch some tv on the couch- head upstairs, and bang. Zero LMR. Zero mention of any of the previous bullshit. Complete restart. And the best part is I don't give a fuck at all.
Exactly what I needed to read man.
I'm feeling myself settling into that sort of place with a couple of the girls I've been out with where I just haven't made it happen.
Hit a nice momentum with a couple lays, felt myself settling in an awesome mindset, then had three meets where I just didn't go in with that strong closing mentality.
Needless to say, the girls I've fucked still hit me up/I still hit them up, while with the others I seem to fall into the mindset you describe here- which is poisoning my overall approach on the girls as a whole.
Figured I just do me and get some more girls on the pipeline- you've reiterated that for me. Thanks dude
Yup. What's crazy is when you start doing this MID-LMR
That's a good point- didn't really think of it like that.
Taking this and just doing it in a shorter time-frame. Yeah, that just takes a lot of emotional control.