I met this girl, who I was somewhat acquainted with already, about 3 weeks ago at a nightclub. She recently got single (1 week) after being in a relationship for 2-3 years. I grab her from the dance floor, chat her up, get her number and went to find my friends again.
An hour later I bump in to her again and pull her from the venue. We go back to her place, do everything besides have sex (she was on her period), and I kiss her goodbye the day after.
Now, after that we’ve had a few good text convos back and forth. I’ve mostly initiated them however a couple of times she has started with texting me stuff like how i’m doing, asks about my day etc.
- When I text her, she always text me back rather quick. I’ve never texted her and not gotten a response.
- I keep my replies somewhat short.
- I make sure she sends the last text.
- I tease her and call her nicknames.
- I always go for the date. However i’ve tried to set up dates the same day, without any luck, I realize now that I should find out what her week looks like instead and go from there.
After reading through various posts at this forum I realize that i’m using lots of fun and rapport, but not enough ’edge’ and sex, in my texts. Need to work on this…
I haven’t texted her in like 3 days or so (she hasn’t texted me either), so i’m wondering:
- How should I craft a good reengaging text from which I can go for the date? Examples?
- How do I get her to chase me?
All input is appreciated :)
One of my favorite reengagenet texts I got from MW and should work perfectly in this scenario is this: "Just got you to check your phone for no reason. Looks like I got you in check ;)"
It's playful but also challenging. Once she responds, maintain your edge but keep it lighthearted and set up a date. Maybe something about kicking her butt in pool or Mario kart and loser buys the first round or something.
Well if I was to guess I'd say it's your meetup attempts that need to be tweaked. Everything else says this is good to go, e.g. she's invested well enough to make something happen. It seems to me you got a bit of a "pua" ego as far as the rules you're setting on yourself to ensure you haven't lost any frame control. You're going to have to unlearn a lot of that it won't help you as you step up through the ranks.
Have examples of how you asked her out?
Sunday morning I was going for a walk before doing some work, wanted to invite her and went direct:
Me: pw? in the sun? 11.11?
Her: getting picked up for the gym in 5 :)
Me: (flexing arm emoji)
Her: don't blow away if you're going out ;)
2 days later:
Me: hey crazyface, think I saw your twin today in the arena.... (yes I used the ol' think-i-saw-your-twin text, true story though this girl was like a replica of the one i'm texting with).
Her: Haha really!? Would've be fun to know who that was :P
Me: too long to take over text, meet me in 2 hrs...
Her: that interesting? :P having dinner with my brother at 6... ;)
Me: probably the most interesting story you've heard all year...now you'll never know tho ;) say hi to your bro from me.
Her: Haha wtf...so mean :( So was the finale any good?
Note. english is not my native language so I hope the translated convos make sense.
Yep not bad. Plan something ahead of time, at least a couple hrs. And try to figure out her schedule first
Shooting for a meetup in 2 hours doesn't make you sound like a very busy guy. It would be different if you had her locked in and inviting her to your place to help construct, say, a shelf or bookcase? ;)
I wasn't a fan of the twin line part. Too wordy for my taste. If you want to go down that path I would have just thrown it in there but immediately gone to the next topic so she doesn't have to necessarily comment on the twin thing, but knows you at least had a thought of her at one point. This should help with getting a Yes for the second part. In all honesty, I don't think I would have done the twin comment at all..but that's just me. I go for the short sentences/phrases that give subtle (or sometimes not so subtle, if I think their panties are getting wet) compliments.
Maybe something like this:
you: thought I saw you at the arena today. turned out to be your evil twin :p
you: got anything going on later this week? Lets grab dinner on Thursday night
you: thought I saw you the other day at the arena..turns out it was your double. no complaints tho ;)
you: got plans later this week?
you: been wanting to go to XXXX for a while. Let's go Thursday or Friday
Of course you already know XXXX is a place she likes to go. You could give a shit less. If she bites then don't try to setup the whole arrangement right then and there. Tell her
you: cool. I'll hit you up tomorrow once I figure out my schedule
Excellent feedback, thanks!
I sent: Just got you to check your phone for no reason. Looks like I got you in check ;)
She replied: Haha, what!? :)
Suggestions on what to text her back?
Dfusion that's way too strict an adherence to that rule that's getting to paranoid levels. There are no texting "laws" set in stone, because I have written any (:p), so remember to balance the dynamics. Spontaneity and emotional momentum will always rule the game
I should have been more clear. I wasn't suggesting this is the only set of messages to send, or that his game should be strict. I was only addressing the specific lines referring to the Arena commnet and the meetup. I was shuffling the deck so to speak. There most certainly needs to be other commentary with humor, playfulness, etc etc..of course.
My personal suggestion is next time you give her a poke and she bites back, immediately tell her something cool/fun/adventurous that you did. Something that stirs or ignites interesting conversation and curiosity, then go for the meetup. It doesn't have to be super detailed, just something she hasn't already heard from other dudes and makes for useful convo. Since you tried doing two same-day (relatively short duration) meetups and it didn't work out, it's safe to say you should feel things out and go for a planned meetup rather than the random approach. If you want a same-day meetup, hit her up in the morning and shoot for mid-afternoon or eve..otherwise go for the meetup later in the week if she seems too busy that day.
me: (this is mid-convo after things have already picked up): what u got going on today?
her: i'm going to the gym. need to get a good workout in today
me: i'm heading over to a buddy's place in a bit to help him put new pipes on his motorcycle. told him as long as i can drive it after, i'm cool with it :p
me: no plans after that. i'm up for going somewhere for dinner tonight. how about you join me? i'll come pick you up
You could slip in some humor in between the Buddy's House and No Plans After That comment..but hopefully you get the idea. Works for me.
I applied what you guys said and now we've got a date set up, sweet. The whole 'figure out her schedule' thing beforehand worked like a charm, honestly I have never thought of approaching it like that before. Like MW said, guess it's some of that pua ego that has to go..
Thanks for all the feedback :)