Relationship to Open Relationship - How it's done!
I'm just going to give a few notes here.
Don't make it about you wanting to bang other girls or see other people.
THat angle won't work.
me: I don't like the person I have become in this relationship. I feel myself controlling you more and more and becoming more reactive. I've lost my ability to be truly present to you. I never wanted to be like this!
me: Do you know that in spanish, the word most commonly used for 'romantic love' actually translates to english as 'I want you'. Their actual word for 'I love you' is hardely ever used.
me: I feel as though this relationship has become more about addictive clinging. How can I truly love you if I'm trying to control you. True love has no wanting in it. True love has no oppossite. Loving someone one moment then turning away from them and withdrawing and becoming indifferent when they don't live up to my ego's impossible needs.
me: The term I love you, has no wanting in it. No need to control, no expectations or conditions. Moreover, it has no oppossite. Love is a state of being.
me: Real love is seeing yourself in another. That metaphysical awareness. When I feel as though you and me, that we're both one. If I beleive we're one, and that I'm in you and you're in me, how could I possible minimize that with labels? How oculd I possibly try to control you.
me: I hate how much my ego has come into this relathionship.
me: Ultimately, the most important thing is the time we spend together. That when we're together it's just you and me, everything else is gone. The past, the future and it's just boom, us. The most important thing is that we share our time together, pouring ourselves into each other.
me: And if having all these attachments and labels and expectations is killing that, I think we need to let go of that. I want to truly be able to love you, without trying to control you. If you want to go spend 3 months travelling or explore a new job, I don't want to stop you from doing that. I want to be able to support that. But I can't do that with my ego, feeding off you, depending on you.
me: I want to have a love love relationship, not an ego relationship. That means no control over one another, no expecations. I don't want you not to hook up with some guy because it would upset me. I don't want you to stop doing anything that you want to do, for your full experience and for your full growth. And if you don't want to and have no desire to see other people that is fine. I just want to stop holding you down.
me: At the same time, I want to have complete freedom myself. SO that when I'm seeing you, it's not because you're my gf. It's because seeing you is what I want to do over anything. That I keep choosing you again and again. And I'm not saying doing this is going to be perfect or that it's going to be easy.
me: But if we want to be strong for eachother, for years and years. If we want to have this relationship and this friendship for the rest of our lives, then this is the only possibity. Because the way we're going, it's going to end and end bad. Then we're going to find other people, repeat the same thing and constantly create more and more x's. I want to never lose you as a friend.
me: We don't have to change anything yet or now or soon. I just wanted to put this out there, because again, I said, I don't like how I've become. And I love you too much, pulling away from my ego, to ruin us, because I was too busy trying to fit into some mold that society says we have to fit into.
I'm tried as fuck and am hardly literate right now, but there's something in there. See if you can pick it out.
Boom goes the kittymite.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Cool man. Howd your girl react to all that?
Well we've had a rocky road the last couple months and she pretty much agreed. It's something we need to really consider.
Plus it's important that we have eachother as friends/companions for life. And the way we're doing is not going to support that. She's also young, she needs the ability to have a full experience. As do I.
Yesterday we were about to pull a threesome with a girlie we know from the coast of France. And my buddy Highlight, again, what MW say that I'm too much Raw and need to soften my juice.
Honestly your text above make me cringe a shitload it make no sense for me to say that to a girl I just do what the fuck I want & don't want to waste time with that but the fact it make me cringe is sign that there is potential for growth. So I will add this components from now on, I lack emotional connection.
Yeah Rael you should join the military or grow up. One or the other
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
What the military will add to the sauce ? (I assume it was not only a sarcastic joke).
RAEL - How long have you been a cyborg for?
ps. Absolutely beautiful read btw- from Tolle's girl.
"As long as I have the idea in my head “I have a relationship” or “I am in a relationship,” no matter with whom, I suffer. This I have learnt.
With the concept of “relationship” come expectations, memories of past relationships, and further personally and culturally conditioned mental concepts of what a “relationship” should be like.
Then I would try to make reality conform to these concepts. And it never does. And again I suffer. The fact of the matter is: there are no relationships.
There is only the present moment, and in the moment there is only relating."
RAEL - How long have you been a cyborg for?
BAhah
Did you really just write her an essay through text? Not hating, Ive been thinking of doing that for a while, lol. Will try it in the future.
P.B. is on another level right now. He's been there for awhile now and probably isn't planning on stopping any time soon.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Okay so I might be wrong about this...but... the whole dynamic here is that your selling this whole idea of a "ego-less relationship" and you are acting like you believe it 100% because the whole "banging other girls" frame is just too harsh for her.
Not sayin your bullshitting because what your pitching is actually very geniune but the other end of ths spectrum (banging other chicks) is not percieved as part of your reality
Bateman were you giving her permission to hit up other dudes? Seems like you mentioned it briefly but not sure if your assuming she would stay loyal to you anyways
Bateman were you giving her permission to hit up other dudes? Seems like you mentioned it briefly but not sure if your assuming she would stay loyal to you anyways
FIrst of all, this was done in person, not text message. I just wrote it that way to make it easier to read.
Secondly, I'd just avoid that altogher.
Just let her do what she wants. If you're confident in yourself, there's nothing to worry about.
Meow wrote:
Bateman were you giving her permission to hit up other dudes? Seems like you mentioned it briefly but not sure if your assuming she would stay loyal to you anywaysFIrst of all, this was done in person, not text message. I just wrote it that way to make it easier to read.
Secondly, I'd just avoid that altogher.
Just let her do what she wants. If you're confident in yourself, there's nothing to worry about.
So you don suggest this with any girl? just had a feeling the whole Tolle approach was really aligned with who you are so it would be successful. If it's a sensitive topic then don't worry bout it.
patrick.bateman wrote:
Meow wrote:
Bateman were you giving her permission to hit up other dudes? Seems like you mentioned it briefly but not sure if your assuming she would stay loyal to you anywaysFIrst of all, this was done in person, not text message. I just wrote it that way to make it easier to read.
Secondly, I'd just avoid that altogher.
Just let her do what she wants. If you're confident in yourself, there's nothing to worry about.
So you don suggest this with any girl? just had a feeling the whole Tolle approach was really aligned with who you are so it would be successful. If it's a sensitive topic then don't worry bout it.
No the tolle thing is fucking fantastic.
But you'er contradicting yourself if you throwdown the whole tolle thing then you start putting expectations on her and telling her she can't hook up !
explain to her that she can do what she wants. If you want to go and have some experience then you should do that. If you feel totally fufilled being with me, and you don't want to engage in the hook up culture then that's amazing too. But this must be your decisioun and you must do it for yourself. Not because I'm placing expectations or rules onto you.
These are all really good points; nice article.
explain to her that she can do what she wants. If you want to go and have some experience then you should do that. If you feel totally fufilled being with me, and you don't want to engage in the hook up culture then that's amazing too. But this must be your decisioun and you must do it for yourself. Not because I'm placing expectations or rules onto you.
This is CRUCIAL.
Meow, from my experience, as much as you push for an open relationship generally girls will stay only hooked on you, even if you are banging other chicks and they know it. Obviously you tell them to hook up with other guys, and you dont trip when they try to talk to you about it, but most of the time if your ice is cold enough they will still only choose to bang you and no one else. Pretty chill imo. There must be some gene to allow girls to get pimped like this. jk i think the main reason why is because they will respect your way of thought, yet they will still want to do what they think is "right", and choose to only hook up with you. And even if they do bang other dudes dont trip just slowley and subtly remove them from the team.
[College Game] Also my route is to send the girl the Drank in My Cup Music Vidoeo by Kirko Bangs from the get go, that way she already knows the deal. The more ice you are about it, the more she will fall in love with you from it.
Just like guys like freedom of relationships, girls like the freedom of not having a fucking nagging dude.
These are all really good points; nice article.explain to her that she can do what she wants. If you want to go and have some experience then you should do that. If you feel totally fufilled being with me, and you don't want to engage in the hook up culture then that's amazing too. But this must be your decisioun and you must do it for yourself. Not because I'm placing expectations or rules onto you.
This is CRUCIAL.
Meow, from my experience, as much as you push for an open relationship generally girls will stay only hooked on you, even if you are banging other chicks and they know it. Obviously you tell them to hook up with other guys, and you dont trip when they try to talk to you about it, but most of the time if your ice is cold enough they will still only choose to bang you and no one else. Pretty chill imo. There must be some gene to allow girls to get pimped like this. jk i think the main reason why is because they will respect your way of thought, yet they will still want to do what they think is "right", and choose to only hook up with you. And even if they do bang other dudes dont trip just slowley and subtly remove them from the team.
[College Game] Also my route is to send the girl the Drank in My Cup Music Vidoeo by Kirko Bangs from the get go, that way she already knows the deal. The more ice you are about it, the more she will fall in love with you from it.
Just like guys like freedom of relationships, girls like the freedom of not having a fucking nagging dude.
Now that makes sense.
lolz at Drank in my Cup