Reviving a Poor Initial Interaction - Last Resort
So before anything, I want to mention that I RECOGNIZE I fucked up the initial encounter with this chick, and that I am now trying to make up for a poor first interaction (at least IMO).
Long story short - my roommate had a couple 9s come over at like 2 AM or so - one of whom he fucked already, and the other her close friend. These girls have a reputation for being sleezy (I'm cringing already...). They're not exactly the brightest chicks socially, although mine is pretty fucking book smart funny enough.
I basically came home frazzled after being at the bar for several hours, and was a bit drunk/on adderall, so I'm just talking a ton and not really thinking so much. I figured it would be fun to try a different angle with this girl for fun, and create some backstory of having dumped a 5 year girlfriend, etc, and just had a decent conversation with this chick for about 2 hours. Before I know it, it's 4 am, and I basically still have NOT even tried to KISS this chick. Friends come up, blah blah, she's tired as balls, and I just crashed afterword. Let me mention it was her and I alone in our living room. Writing this out is haunting my soul, lol.
I realize I should've just grabbed her hand, kissed her, and lead from there. Hell, even TRYING SOMETHING would've been better than rambling on and on. The feeling of regret is brutal...will never make this error again.
Next morning I grab her number, tell her we should grab some drinks sometime.
Our texts (I didn't want to be too chatty with her, figured it will be okay to keep texting to a minimum and just meet up eventually, perhaps I don't want to come accross as too try hard/desperate to meet her...):
Something my room mate just reminded of .... these girls are very likely to come party with us again, the one in question for me having broke up with a bf a few months back after a number of years..could be on the market for a bit.. perhaps playing some super bold "do or die" type of thing wouldn't exactly be neccessary as I'll probably see her again in the future. Who knows.
Looking for some opinions on moving forward - any thoughts welcome.
Okay yeah this is a very common habit when drugs/alcohol are flying around, basically you let what feels like an almost godly state overtake your logical mind to the point of you just wanting to talk or hash things out instead of actually moving things forward. My critique on the initial texts are why even bring it up that you were acting weird? That's fucking weird lol. After that, pretty rudimentary texts but you kinda jumped at the chance to hang out with her. You're showing way too much eagerness for a meetup and not solidifying any sort of rapport or back and forth. I try to stay away from initiating conversations with "hey what's up" type texts. Imagine how many of these a 9 is getting per day.
Wait a couple of days and reinstate with:
"I'm so done with this whole "traffic" thing. Soon they'll be building highways for me"
"Just got you to open your phone for no reason. Looks like I got you in check ;)"
you out need to blast this girl with some value and a little oomph or shock to get her responding.
You you may not nail this down but it's a solid learning experience. Always be leading
Everything was "interesting" but still totally fine until you got to the part about the famjam stuff. Something about the way you delivered it was just.. squarish. Up until that point she just thought you were a sexy dude who'd just rattled his mouth off and was too self-absorbed the first night to make a move on her. This happens and is somewhat considered mainstream "cool guy" behavior. Not necessarily the way to go obviously, but manageable. Well when you started going Patrick Bateman style with the texts about her family and then yours it showed you weren't as sexy as she might have previously thought. Maybe. She's probably still not sure about you, you can recover ;)
It would be hard for you to spot this because you thought her initial response was based on your "honesty", no it's actually that it was kind of sexy bold and masculine to her. Just a dynamic to be aware of.
Also, you're showing your same "square" judgmental side when describing these chicks. Come on dude all girls have sex, lol.
Yes good point about the way you brought that up in the beginning. You didn't need to do that and so shouldn't have.
Hold on why were you calling her a "slut" at first or your word for it, and then you're saying this girl had a boyfriend for years and just recently broke up? Dafuq is going on in your head mang. Lol
Thanks for pointing these things out guys.
good stuff to keep in mind moving forward. Yeah I can see what you mean by judging these girls - not cool. Was simply pointing out that they have this reputation, wasn't trying to bash them for it, but duly noted.
What do you think about moving forward, john? I think g money has a good point, but wouldn't mind a second opinion. I was debating sending some message showing a willingness to walk away, along the lines of hey if your not feeling me that's totally cool, I think your sexy and would like to have a silly night out, but I'd rather you be honest and upfront about it instead of not saying anything and wasting each others time blah blah worded more effectively (at work banging this out). Perhaps I'm trying a "do or die" approach with this girl before I even have to mistaking that I've already gone beyond fixing..
I have some notion that this girl wouldn't want to have this back and forth texting for rapport, and that trying to keep that going would be "try hard" or something, like I need her to keep in touch instead of just assuming that we'll meet up without needing the back and forth ..same with the whole blasting "value" at her in quirky silly texts, for whatever reason I'm of the impression that it's try hard and would be counter productive...like I'm still trying to "game" her instead of assuming she wants to meet me.
any input would be appreciated guys. Thanks.
Stop. Full stop
I'm examining your retarded logic here and you're still trying to say it's ok. Self-awareness mang, get some more of it. Something's not fitting right and you're not seeing it, she had a boyfriend for years but she's a slut? But the other thing is that by even being on that side of the issue you're identifying yourself as a chode. Anti-secret society. And then you want to go these full reactive routes which are once again the exact opposite of seduction. Be COOL, stop trying to insist on forcing her into these nerd love convos.
Agree with MW. You're just trying to force a dynamic that is not beneficial to anyone.
"I think you're sexy and wanna have a silly night out"
What the fuck. You're not her gay friend who she goes cardigan shopping with on Sundays.
One of my main criticisms of "I am enough" is it gives guys excuses to continue being a slapdick
Send the freeway text. Derp, done.
Wow that's a very good point - I never even really considered that before. Thanks G Money.
One issue I encounter is thinking that if I I'm too sexual or dominant she will be overwhelmed by it, like if it was too sexual or suggestive..she might just feel like theirs too much pressure/expectation. How would you have responded to her first initial message back to me? Always looking to improve, any answers welcome.
Send the freeway text. Derp, done.
Me: I'm really done with this whole 'traffic' thing. They'll be building a freeway for me soon
No response, unfortunately.. perhaps it'd be best to just leave things be until the next time she comes by with her friend again, although it would be nice to get her re-engaged prior.. hmm.
Yeah but dude you were a complete fucking faggot. So asking me to pull rabbits out of my ass isn't quite within your level of privilege right now. Thanks and come again