Sad Clown
I put this in Health category for a reason.
THIS IS DEDICATED TO ALL THE SAD CLOWN:
(I realize every time I type something I always deviate and have to push myself back on track)
All right so I’m about to go out right now but something cross my mind:
The video of Alex: Alex Is Depressed, Self Destructive and Ready to Quit, Control Your Distress and Turn It Around. watch?v=6jlzwG4tmaI#t=327
And the video of Stefan Molyneux: The Truth About Robin Williams watch?v=diyuAXzN7yo&list=UUC3L8QaxqEGUiBC252GHy3w
First the video of Alex.
We see the ULTIMATE FUN guy of RSD talking about the fact that he always feel depress, no matter his diet, no matter the number of girls... And Alex as the happy Butterfly that he is told us he can’t say no.
NO to exhaustion, NO to not going out, NO to alcohol etc…
Which is funny because as man who know who he is that is one of the most important tool. Saying NO.(It is also a symptom of not being able to concentrate, something that a lot of retarded natural badass LACK. WORK ETHICS that is.)
Going back from Vegas: I realize I was hook on stimulus not able to concentrate on a task without music or multi-tasking (which is not COGNITIVELY possible by the way, you SWITCH not multi-task).
[I don’t blame him. At all. I heard some scrubs who told me “Yeah this instructor is…kinda weird man”.
You look at the life of an instructor, unstable as fuck, facing guy with weird and vast issues, making them do shit who BREAK ALL THE SOCIALLY ADEPT BEHAVIORS, traveling the whole world teaching how to rail whores in a Van and you want a day to day motherfucker in front of you ?
Guys are so delusional.]
To stand for yourself and not accepting some influences of your environment. Your mind and self-worth is like the smaller cell of your body, it need barrier to protect itself LIKE ANYTHING BIOLOGICALY NATURAL.
Now the tendency of our SOCIETY is to BREAK THE OLD RULES, to liberate us, to let our instinct take over, TO NOT GIVE A FUCK.
LIKE mostly EVERYTHING COMING from our society this is a LIE.
READ THIS CAREFULLY: FREEDOM IS OBTAIN TO CONSTRAINT.
To gain back your child mobility and do a full split YOU MUST stretch every day until you can.
To go to 7.5% body fat and stay there all your life you need to go through a certain diet FOR LIFE.
To come back through self-esteem YOU MUST FACE YOUR DEMONS.
There is no way around it.
I post recently about my internalization of the nature of women, which surprise me, always was in assumption that this have sink deep from long ago but what you think and what you feel are diametrically opposite (what you feel always say the truth over what you think), and realize I was covering up for years.
Having a very charismatic, loud mouth, gangster attitude, joker personality. But since the start of my biography my doubts confirm little bit by little bit, this fun that I emanate, singing on auto-pilot, always making jokes to myself basically all the behaviors to PUMP my own state were a camouflage because of the uncomfort to just stay with the silence and the dark.
STRAIGHT FROM MY NOTES OF OZZIE SPEECH AT THE SUMMIT:
One of the 3 NEGATIVE SELF PERCEPTIONS:
- If they really knew me they wouldn’t like me : fear of disapproval. You don’t want to tell them who you are. Entertainer types.
ENTERTAINER TYPES.
THE CLOWN.
THE SAD CLOWN.
My background is similar to Jeffy, Tyler and Derek.
Fucked up childhood.
I’m your natural comedian, I can make my all class room laugh, driving the teacher nuts, fucking with the authority, seeking popularity. As my 12-15 years old this funny personality was developed to compensate probably or to not get pick on by bully. This is the reason why when you see a fucking scrubs getting cook by his executioner your blood rush, I literally want to kill the motherfucker.
I remember the pain. I remember the terror in the stomach.
You even get addicted to it, as I write down this line I feel the pain body showing up, you like this fury it give you meaning.
Not anymore.
When you were home, which was a constant apocalypse, you start to understand the rhythm of the walk in stair, the way door close: did it slam? Or close normally? What’s the intonation when daddy come home? You pick on this automatically that’s why guy with my background are stellar in term of Emotional Intelligence. It was develop as a survival mechanism.
Like Alex with his legendary self-amusement.
It’s either : holding your dick in the bar jumping around or jumping from the bridge.
SAAD write down a great article on it:
Letting Go of Your Past -- Forgiving and Embracing
Death is a constant topics with World Class Badass. They put it in perspective and that’s why they are where they are.
Being able to adopt on any form of character to make people laugh cut you from your roots, your imagination is marvelous because it get you out of LONELINESS.
ENERGY ALWAYS FOUND A WAY OUT, ALWAYS.
Now we go to fucking GOLD:
Stefan Molyneux. What a man.
The video: The Truth About Robin Williams
He talk about ME + concept. This guy videos are insanely rich and pertinent a true badass.
Now let me tell you something: THE MOST SUCCESSFUL people almost ALL HAVE this me+ thing in place, that give you FURIOUS leverage, FEAR is the most powerful motor of motivation.
I suggest that you check this video Authenticity code philip mc kernan:
The part that I want to highlight is from the beginning to 12min34
SEEKING APPROVAL GOES DEEP, ME +, it’s abyssal.
Doing my Shadow work is one of the message I get from my experiences at Vegas:
Don't take ownership of the fucking circumstances that happen to you.
Not identifying with any emotions or thought you feel.
Forgiving people they don't know what they do.
Expose yourself to others by some specific drills.
This forum is on higher level or reasoning that's why I post it here.
Manwhore I know you communication pertinence will hit me with your response on this.
Alex is beyond the reproach of any chode fag who says anything like "Yeah this instructor is…kinda weird man". Not trying to spout the "superiority" thing, but yes on a certain level I am, and it's definitely beyond their ability to comprehend. That feeling of discomfort is simply unfamiliarity because they are chodes without any development of their own
That being said quite a bit of this is Alex's fault completely for simply not communicating it. I KNEW he was going thru stuff like this, in fact I always suspected he had ED issues, but he was trying so hard to be "the coolest" that he never talked to anyone about it. His whole "there can only be one winning frame" fucked him up SO BAD. For years
I already see you talking about the "there can only be one frame who win type of guy".
I'm definitely in this category, subject to talk about on the skype session.
My writing skills is so bad....damn.
I think Robin Williams sorta chose the way he wanted to go. I had to accept that fact at one point, I think it was his choice and decision. The whole "sad clown" is simply a funny guy using that as a means of achieving humanities end goals, e.g. acceptance and accomplishment. You just can't stop there, you must keep going.