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Joined: 01/18/2012

"Alden and Bieling (1998) found that when people with social anxiety performed safety behaviors, they seemed more awkward and less likeable. Thus, by playing it safe, the person with social anxiety actually got what they feared most: negative evaluation. We often tell clients that they are doing a disservice to others by playing it safe. Others don't get to see their true self."

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/face-your-fear/201303/safety-behaviors-in-social-anxiety

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beargrizz's picture
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Joined: 09/30/2012
Emotions: False

Emotions: False Positives 

God, you are such a bastard for giving us emotions.   But by the same token, without them, there would be no need to evolve.  So actually, thanks god. 

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“Cleverness devoid of wisdom is extremely dangerous and destructive.
Enlightenment consciously chosen means to relinquish your attachment to past and future and to make the Now the main focus of your life.  Through allowing, you become what you are: vast, spacious. You become whole. You are not a fragment anymore, which is how the ego perceives itself. Your true nature emerges, which is one with the nature of God"
- Tollester

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Joined: 11/16/2013
Awesome little article. I

Awesome little article.

I think it's interesting to figure out where the line is between doing something, like wearing darker colors, because it's a safety behavior, versus doing something like wearing darker colors cause you realized about a year ago that most bright colors just make you look like a homo 

Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
interesting, and I take it

interesting, and I take it that try hard behavior is still a form of safety behavior?

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Joined: 11/16/2013
Meow wrote: interesting, and

Meow wrote:
interesting, and I take it that try hard behavior is still a form of safety behavior?

Yeah, it's just a deeper layer of safety behavior

Try-hard behavior or "attentino seeking" behavior, are safety behaviors because although you actually are doing something to get more attention, you're doing it in a way that covers up your real personality- so in essence, you're stil "hiding" from the situation- by basically diverting everyones attention to some artifically created version of who you are 

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pottedflowers wrote: Meow

pottedflowers wrote:
Meow wrote:
interesting, and I take it that try hard behavior is still a form of safety behavior?

Yeah, it's just a deeper layer of safety behavior

Try-hard behavior or "attentino seeking" behavior, are safety behaviors because although you actually are doing something to get more attention, you're doing it in a way that covers up your real personality- so in essence, you're stil "hiding" from the situation- by basically diverting everyones attention to some artifically created version of who you are 

Wow, thats a great way of looking at it. Thanks

Meow's picture
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This is something I need to

This is something I need to become concious of in myself, however it can be tough to detect. It is VERY clear in other people though, I see these crazy shifts in some of my friends when they are around ladies. And i'm thinking...dude if you just acted the way you do around the bros you'd be coming off as a boss! I'm sure the same goes for me Lol

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Joined: 01/18/2012
pottedflowers wrote: Yeah,

pottedflowers wrote:

Yeah, it's just a deeper layer of safety behavior

Try-hard behavior or "attentino seeking" behavior, are safety behaviors because although you actually are doing something to get more attention, you're doing it in a way that covers up your real personality- so in essence, you're stil "hiding" from the situation- by basically diverting everyones attention to some artifically created version of who you are 

Beautiful. 

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

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Joined: 01/18/2012
Meow wrote: This is something

Meow wrote:
This is something I need to become concious of in myself, however it can be tough to detect. It is VERY clear in other people though, I see these crazy shifts in some of my friends when they are around ladies. And i'm thinking...dude if you just acted the way you do around the bros you'd be coming off as a boss! I'm sure the same goes for me Lol

Dude you should not be trying to bring up your friends right now to make yourself look cooler or at least not as bad. I have a big feeling you are a much bigger fag than them. Do not pawn off attention on them 

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

Infinity's picture
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Joined: 09/18/2013
It can also be the opposite

It can also be the opposite end of the spectrum... IE acting tough, macho, "too cool for school," tying to be impressive etc.

On a similar note: Any of you ever read or watch Game of Thrones? Tyrion is BY FAR my favorite character!

 “All dwarves are bastards in their father’s eyes. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”

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Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
Manwhore wrote: Meow

Manwhore wrote:
Meow wrote:
This is something I need to become concious of in myself, however it can be tough to detect. It is VERY clear in other people though, I see these crazy shifts in some of my friends when they are around ladies. And i'm thinking...dude if you just acted the way you do around the bros you'd be coming off as a boss! I'm sure the same goes for me Lol

Dude you should not be trying to bring up your friends right now to make yourself look cooler or at least not as bad. I have a big feeling you are a much bigger fag than them. Do not pawn off attention on them 

Your right that was unneeded 

I notice these shifts in myself and it's kinda just an automated thing that I've done ever since I was a little kid. It used to be shyness now it's overcompensation but there should be no shift at all. 

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Joined: 01/18/2012
'k. No more. The focus is on

'k. No more. The focus is on you 

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I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information