Sex Teachings From A Tibetan Monk

The ancient Buddhists had a school of practice called Tantra that was radically different from the traditional teachings of Tibetan Buddhism. You may have heard of it through pop culture which references it in terms of intense sexual pleasure, and wild, uninhibited sexual experiences. Some scholars have defined it in terms of its theology, some its social attitudes, and some its rituals. Tantra, ultimately we can say, is an eastern philosophy that includes several spiritual concepts. For what we hope to achieve on this forum however, I would disregard the word ‘Tantra’ all together, and take its concepts as one of the integral pieces that exist on the vast color wheel of sexual mastery.

What I mean is that there’s a strong spiritual component to being a god-like lover beneath the sheets, and a Tibetan monk (of all people), may be able to impart some naughty wisdom. You see, sex is not strictly a mechanical act as much as porn and media will have you believe. Don’t get me wrong, the mechanics (rhythm, pace, positions, noise) DO exist. I mean if you’re not railing chicks deep and hard, you’re only hitting about 35% of their buttons lol. To add to that, without the emotional and spiritual components, you’ve capped yourself at a limited threshold. Many times, that threshold will only take you so far, especially in the ever growing, ever complexifying nature of intimate relationships with women.

In this post, I’ll attempt to hit just the tip of the spiritual notes excluding any physical exercises you can do to improve your dick game, as well as emotional wavelengths that can make girls cream fast and fall in love with you forever. Those do exist ;)

These past few months, I’ve delved into tantric literature from authors such as Doniger and Rinpoche, and in these works, I’ve found gems that I think will be useful to all of us. As a note about the authors, I don’t think they even know what they’re getting at entirely. They’re scholars and historians making analyses and don’t have a doctorate in the science of seduction :p So it’s up to us to decipher and instill. Let’s start here:

“Strong emotion, be it lust or hatred, seeks a conflict that leads ultimately to the resolution of all conflict in death. The proposed battle is, by implication, a sexual union. The initiatory death leading to a desired transformation. This battle is a way of achieving unity.”

I paraphrased and improved the quote to my liking but these sentences demonstrate the analogous relationship between death, conflict and sex. The death described, is a spiritual death. One of the critical and insecure self that exists within all of us. The conflict is the struggle within, the battle as can be described between your inner demons and your true self. You can call it the ego. Sex, is the resolution. The culmination and relinquishment of everything that is irrelevant when it’s you, and her. Naked, and bare. Embracing each other for the night.

When you meet a pretty chick out at night, it’s you and her vs. societal expectations, your inner judgements, cockblocks and mother hens. If you’re on a date, logistics, getting to know each other, and maybe a weird 3-date rule she has lol. In a relationship, the jealousy, disagreements, families, and expectations. In all stages, fight the good fight, and make it happen. She wants you to, and she wants to do it with you. Contrary to Cosmo magazine ;)

All that to say, there can be no ego in intimacy. There can be no ego in sensuality. You can’t have great sex if you’re in your head worrying about your “performance” and if she likes it, or how “cool” you’re going to be because you hooked up with the prettiest chick at school. Die to the past and future, every moment. They don’t exist. It’s this death that leads to the desired transformation of self-actualized and badass men we can be. And sex is our paradise and our war-zone. It’s where all bets are off, and everything is brought to the table. The strongest of emotions find their solace here. Ever wonder why hate sex is a thing?

What we must move towards is a “weaving” of the physical, emotional and spiritual. Making her pussy hurt, yet making her heart soft and discovering each other in the process. Destroying the walls we’ve erected and exalted in our lives from everything we deem a threat. Sex is not only superbly pleasurable, but it’s healing. It’s constructive and deconstructive. The Tantras would probably say, enlightening.