She was tugging me and fingered her= no sex + being "too" honest
I met her in daygame her first day in town freshman in uni, solid interaction got the number she was investing alot in text although flakey on meeting up.
First date, my first one in 2 years (lol), we had coffee with table across, building comfort not alot of sexual escalation. After more than an hour and a few location changes we make out on a bench, she is into it alot, was 3min walk from my place but she needed to go so the hesitation got the best of me.
Texting for a few days she flakes on a late night date so we set up lunch the next day. I have some chicken we talk about life and shitz a few location changes we get to mine to get a jacket because "I got cold". We get in I make her a cocktail, I start escalating 2 steps forward 1 step back, youtube for a bit, music, dance, makeout, titsout, in the bed, fingering, jerking, lmr, "We are not having sex on the second date" and she says she is sorry that she is teasing me. At this point I switch between escalating and comforting so I can get past the lmr.. she has no problem jerking me and sucking my finger that is covered in her pussy juice. Take a condom out and she asks me what it's for I keep telling her we are not having sex.. At one point she asks me if we are a couple, we have been acting like one I guess?.. I tell her that I am going to be completely honest with her because I think she is a nice girl and I don't want to hurt her, that I don't do "serious relationships" because I can't trust myself or the girl to be feightful in this day and age. She is not happy with that, saying that she thought I was perfect and she only does serious relationships so this is not going to work. Skip and hour later and a BUNCH of honestly blunt personal reveals on both sides, cuddling and me sending her to the bus stop while holding hands.. As her bus pulls in she goes in for the kiss I give her the cheek and tell her "Sorry for teasing you"... Send her a text right after "I had a good time" she texts she actually enjoyed it as well..
WTF I don't know I felt kind of good but.. no lay?
Probably not the right time to get logical... make her beg for that dick
I guess that I was going for the "boyfriend" frame from the beginning and when she asked me if we are together just to make sure she was shoked that I was not thinking the same... I knew it was my fault obviously but didn't know where the error was exactly.
Also I wounder if I should try snd hit her up again? We left on "friend" terms but come on.. she was all up in that shit
Before you mentioned the just friends thing I thought she was just saying she wanted more comfort before banging like 1-2 more meetups.
So hadn't spending more time with you and having you qualify her (telling her what you like about her that makes you drawn to her in particular).
Her frame is also shitty but you didn't catch how do in a way because you made it valid. Her conclusions are retarded social programming. If she's asking about bf, be like honestly I don't know because I don't know how you will be after I've slept with you. You ever dated someone and after you had sex they were completely different? You don't know people till after a while that you've slept with them. So you're on trial right now boo, doing well so far just don't out to be a crazy.
I had a girl tell me she wanted to be friends, it would ruin our friendship 5 minutes later I had her bent over and as I was entering her vagina. Came in like 30 seconds lolz. She was not only Asian but hadn't had sex in 2 years tightest shit of my life. That lasted 2 years off and on. I told her I felt it would make us better friends because we would feel comfortable naked, having her so close to me, in my mouth, being able to help her feel good. Closer to her in ways than her female friends and any other guy friends and closer in ways than her boyfriend because I would know things and sides of her she would never feel comfortable with her boyfriend knowing. And for me this is totally true.
Hang out w this girl again, escalate 1 step forward 2 steps back. *Be the first one to stop it*. Take that frame/role away from her. Have her escalate on you. Lead in that way. Pump her sexual state up pull back, ask her about herself then reward her by telling her what you like about her or just tell her something you like about her. Make her feel good and more comfortable in increasing more physically, sexually and emotionally.
Girls like guys who aren't really sure or sold on the girl completely and honestly you shouldn't be. She might be cute and nice but is that enough to be all like yup I'm done smashing other girls because of that what has she done to deserve that? Jerk you off, let you touch her pussy? Yeah setting the bar real high up there.
I like to think I'm very nice and friendly to girls especially now compared to when I was younger but with the exception of one girl I've never had any strong desire to give up other pussy for the girl because most girls are followers, bland and have like this weak herd mentality thing they think is cute/girly going on. I didn't realize I felt this way till I met that one awesome chick who was completely different than anyone else and I realized not all girls are the same but rather most are mediocre, just like guys. And on some level girls realize it's lame and most guys have terrible standards and won't respect you at the level they would if they knew you valued yourself way more. I've had, particularly when I was younger and more of a dick, girls really into me because I told them this stuff straight up and they realized it was all true, it would make them want to prove to me what they were worth and would get really turned in because it set this strong dominance/being served type dynamic between us.
I would say she also wants drama from all of this you've written. She wants to feel a wide range of emotions give her that.
A lot of guys fall for the same bullshit over and over again, never understanding the simple truth: Sex is an emotional experience. The girl doesn't want a logical answer, she just wants to feel good about it. That's it. So when you actually do go logical it's like taking a bucket of water and throwing it on the fire. Good job, champ.
I remember when the whole "I don't do serious relationships for xxx reasons" came out in 2006 or what not. I never used that shit. If I were you I wouldn't answer that question that way EVER again in your life, lol. You are risking a lot for a little, there are plenty of better ways of handling it.
I will text her tomorrow and get her out for coffee do what ClosingIsAHabit suggest, thanks for all the replies love this place I lurk alot, and thanks Manwhore for the input I have to do the coaching soon but I spend my money on shit...
Well all of you 'tards that have wanted to do the coaching but didn't, the price is MUCH increased now.