Simple meditation that really impacted my life
I made a small comment on this in Patrick Bateman's post, but I think I might be able to help other guys if I just stopped being lazy and made a whole pot about it... So, for the last 2 weeks, I have become a much happier person and started enjoying life much more then before. I was no hardcase newbie, I was a relatively high-value guy, as I had been working on myself for almost a year, and was naturally sociable since I was a kid. I have,however, always experienced intense periods of negativity, and even depression before. I was never diagnosed. never took pils, and never saw anyone about it, so this is my own self-diagnosis, just as a disclaimer. Anyways, even after I got into game and self-development, and although I was able to experience really high highs and periods of happiness, I still had quite strong downs. So basically, I went from negativity to emotional bipolarity LOL.
This all changed, however, 2 weeks ago. I had known about meditation ever since I started watching RSDTyler's videos many months ago, but I had given up only a couple of days of trying it. I decided to give it a try, try it out for a whole month, even if I feel I am not getting anything out of it, just to be able to judge it properly and maybe discover its benefits. I will go back to detailing the benefits I have been experiencing, but now I want to elaborate on the actual process of meditation, how I learned it, and how I do it.
_I start by sitting on the side of my bed (a chair is as good, but not as comfortable for my arse lol), with my back straight up (This might put some strain on your lower back in the beginning, but your body gets used to it in a mere couple of days).
_Pre-meditation: I do 21 minute sessions, once or twice a day, depending on how much free time I have. Its actually 20 minutes of meditation and 1 minute of pre-meditation. What I do during the first 1 minute of pre-meditation is, I just look outside my window, and try to look without labelling, and just returning to the view (The Now) everytime I realize I am thinking. I do this for about 20 seconds. Then, I make sure my back is straight and close my eyes. I look straight ahead into the black and ask myself. I hold my hands infront of my body, and then I ask myself, with my eyes closed and without moving my hands, how do I know that my hands ar still there? (I got this from one of Tolle's videos on Youtube). This will enable me to shift my attention into my hands and feel them from within, which is giving myself access to feeling the energy field of my inner body, as Tolle puts it. I do this for 20 seconds. For the last 20 seconds, I ask myself, how do I know that I am breathing? (I read this in a book on meditation). The answer obviously is that I can hear myself breathing, I can feel my belly slightly rising, I can feel the air touching the tip of my nose... This is NO STRICT PROCESS, so you can spend as much time as you want on the different taks of pre-meditation, or give 2 minutes, 3 minutes, whatever, dont get stuck in your head about the minutia, this is just a very general guideline and I made it up randomly, no science here, so no need to be strict or extremely accurate.
_Meditation: Again, sit up straight and look straight ahead into the black. This is continuing from the pre-meditation, so what I do is I place my attention on feeling the air go in and out of my nostrils. This is the object of focus in my meditation. Everytime I find myself thinking, I just look straight ahead into the black again, and shift my attention to my breathing and feeling it on the tip of my nose. I keep doing this for the rest of the 20 minutes. And this is all it is.
_VERY IMPORTANT TIPS:
.DONT TRY to control your breath. This might sounds very hard, it sure did to me, especially because I have trained myself to automatically breathe in a specific way for the last 8 months (Deep breathing). So if I was able to not control my breath, so can you. Just let your breath be. Dont try to take a full breath in. You will find that your body automatically makes you yawn and breathe deeo when it needs you to. I will talk about this more in the benefits section.
.DO NOT judge yourself. No matter how many times you are distracted by thought, just shift your attention back to the breath. Do not at any point get frustrated because you keep thinking. Tolle says: "Your mind is active. So what. Thats what is. Just accept it. You accept it, you go beyond. You fight it, you are stuck with it". For me, I realize that often my mind is a bit ative with some though, but at the same time, I am actually focused on the breath. And this is totally fine, my mind doesnt have all my attention, so I am still being present and meditating even though there are some thoughts.
. You might find yourself falling asleep, especially in the beginning. Thats totally fine, it took me the whole first week to completey get rid of this. It gets better very quickly. Again, make sure you dont get frustrated by this.
.THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP is to want to be meditating. Want to be where you are right now. Want to be doing this. A famous Buddhist monk called "Ajan Brahm" (He has awesome videos on YouTube) talks about this. He says you are meditating when you want to be where you are, and you are in a prison if you dont want to be where you are right now and here. So really do enjoy meditating. If you look forward to your meditation session like I do, and just cant wait to get started, then when you start meditating, you will actually "Be meditating", irrespective of all the aforementioned technicalities I have been talking about in this post. SO HAVE FUN MEDITATING!!!
I said I had been teaching myself to breathe better for 8 months now, but meditation is what truely taught me to breathe. I breath much slower now, and much deeper than I ever did. The interesting thing about this is that "Ajan Brahm" states that your breath is a reflection of the state of your mind. And I really believe he is right. I breathe much slower, deeper, and as a result my body feels much more at ease, which is how my mind feels as well. Whats also interesting, is that I "dont try" to breathe deep anymore. It just happens. Just like I "dont try" to be present anymore. It just happens. I used to get myself stuck in my head "trying" to be present. Doesnt happen anymore. Is it a coincidence that the same thing has happened in my breathing? I dont think so.
Natureally, everything related to verbal communication and using my voice has dramatically improved. I speak slower, clearer, and with a more vibrant style than before. This is also due to Manwhore's drills, but I am pretty sure meditation has had a huge role to play as well.
I am at peace almost all the time, and this REALLY improved my game. I can feel that girls really want me to be around them and want to talk to me, just because I have such a "good vibe", as a result of meditation. It also helps you feel more fulfilled, which naturally improves your vibe, and consequently your game and interactions as well.
I am smoother in almost all day-to-day social situations.
I can feel my sense of entitlement doubling and tripling.
This has really boosted my freedom from outcome as well, and again, girls can sense this.
(Just a final tip to being present in your daily life in general. Presence is NOT SOMETHING YOU DO. The way I internalized it, is that being present is about "not thinking". By adopting a passive realization of presence, I think newbies like me have a much easier time accessing the NOW. Again, thought can arise from presence, as Tolle says, but its the old mental records that bring you down which you need to not engage in. This has helped me to "stop trying to be present", and actually be present.)
I enjoy life much more than before and I am much happier. Mood swings which used to put me in a bad mood for days or weeks now just dont happen, or if they do, its only for like half an hour, and its much much lighter.
This is all after just 2 weeks of meditation. So I encourage anyone who is not at peace in their lives to start doing this immediately.
I hope you guys find this useful, and if you want to know anything more, just comment/pm me.
I always thought it was retarded as fuck, early on when I first got into pickup, hearing about guys meditating on their way to the club etc. I used to be like, "WTF kind of faggots meditate to pick up chicks. Are they going to say some prayers too?" LOL. Then I listened to Tolle.
Ya you know whats funny about that Infinity: There are no "new" thoughts. And the only way to have a "new" thought would be to not attempt to have a new one. So we have probably all thought that. But who is to say what is right and wrong. Of course that's a whole other topic, but the point is there are no new thoughts.
great to hear this, man. For me, meditation has had the single most powerful impact on my overall life of all the things I ever started to do. Started almost three years ago, and after one month I knew I would be doing this in one form or another for the rest of my life.
When you have a bit more practice in a couple of months you might wanna consider doing a ten day retreat. Won't turn you into a super monk or anything, but it is incredible experience. Most intense stuff I have ever done for sure, and I have done crazy stuff. Ten being alone with your self, with no escape of yourself than the now, topped everything. Its tough though, especially the first three days. no kidding haha.
I did one with dhamma.org, you pay whatever you want. some subtle indoctrination is going one in the obligatory lectures (and after ten hours of meditation you are in susceptible state of mind), but if you are otherwise stable and your judgement isn't impaired then you can just pick yourself the good crumbs of wisdom :D
peace and keep it up
Yeah Chris, I feel the same way as you do. Never has one thing impacted me like this before. It gets better everyday, and I am certainly planning on going for a retreat when I have got the time for it!
Here is another update as well guys, I feel so much more hornier...LOL. Probably has to do with the whole less stress-cortisol-testosterone hormonal equation or something. Just one more reason to do this :D