Snapchat number close + OK texting (where am I losing these chicks!?)
So I matched with this chick on tinder over a year ago, and I remember her being into me but at the time she really wasn't too hot. She went to school and became a super hottie in no time. I've snapchatted her casually, and invited her out on fun little date ideas but it never went anywhere because I didn't have her number.
Finally, I hit her up a few days ago and it went something like this:
Me: (I don't rememeber the opener)
Her: (I don't remember what she said)
Me: I needa partner in crime for ice skating
Her: I love ice skating!!
Me: whats your # blah blah blah let go sometime Ill skate circles around you
Her: #
I txt immediatly
Me: Hi this si your figure skating partner checkin in
Me: I just bought a boatload of raindbow sherbert for riot punch lol whatcha up to hun
Her: working allll day
Me: I respect the work grind pumpkin. Txt me sometime when your free
Me: and enjoy your night!
A few days later
Me: Hi hows your day treatin yah :)
Her: hey who is this?
Me: the dude from the art show. You tried to sell me that weird leggo sculpture
Me: Jk this is (name) you gave me your number over snapchat
Her: haha hey!!
Me: whatcha up to? Today is soooo boring im going to the mall lol
Her: working, as always. Open to close
Her: kill me
Me: oh no your a workaholic haha
Me: you work mon-fri?
Her: haha college broke life
Her: most days yeah
Me: I feel yah
Me: I work during the semester so im part time all da time
Her: true where do you work
Me: Imma PCA
Me: I babysit old people
Me: :)
Her: ohhh lit haha
Her: I don't like old people very much but
Me: They tell GREAT stories
Me: Are you a server> <----she works at some restaraunt we've talked about before
Her: noo just a hostess
Me: thats a lot of smiling lol
Her: lol also not my favorite thing but its fine
Me: Have you considered bartending? I hear the tips are great
Her: yeah I mean I was only 17 when I started working here but now I could
Her: seems like fun
Me: haha well you need to nejoy drunk people too which isnt always fun
Me: unless yer one of those party gals haha <---Idk why I introduced some negativity, not my best lol
Her: haha I am indeed p
Me: oh gawd your trouble :P
Me: lets go shot for shot, loser buys the drinks ha!
Her: hahaha if I had a fake Id take you up on that
Me: nooo :(
Me: so hucky cheese is more of your style at the moment
Her: haha savage
Her: yeah pretty much
Me: haha id love to take you there I know chucky personally
Me: but chipotle would suffice too
Her: chipotle is pretty good thats true
Me: when do you NOT work?
Her: right now I dont actually know, but next week ill get my schedule and can letcha know
Me: yah just asl next time you go in <---trying to be a man with a plan because no way she actually gets back to me
Me: I may be starting a new job soon so that could get hectic
Her: yikkkes yeah okay
Me: Hey, you go to school in CO right?
Me: I'm going out there to ski during spring break and I was wdonering if you had any clue which plane tickets are the cheapest (cyring laughing emoji) <----Not sure why I went logical, she seemed like she actually enjoyed a lil small talk and I was trying to build some rapport
Here is the deal, I'm hitting up A LOT of ladies and my texting ain't bad, but I'm consistently losing at the end. I'm getting them hooked, framing good dates, yet I can't get these ladies to live it out completely, I'm NOT trying to complain, I'm seriously concerned and slightly discouraged that Im not making things happen. Am I missing something in my game that is glaringly obvious? I feel like I can not hold the attention of any of these girls.
I hit up really fuckin hot girls and I realize the dynamics that come along with this, but I'm missing that final stretch in my game that gets them out. I have 5+ hotties that I can text and they will consistently respond eveyrtime, yet it never gets anywhere. Somebody please set me straight!! I am a tad impatient and sometimes I take things with too much sensitivity, but what the fuck is going on.
Yes, I could hit this girl up again in a few days and she would respond but we would end up not going any deeper. I'm spinning in circles man.
Have you tried finding out when she is free first, before going "we should go ice skating/rob an ice cream truck :P "?
I have...but it is usually the other way around! That's a very good point lol I def start with seeding a date first on tinder but once I have their number it probably is best to get their schedule first.
I would seed the idea of a date/meeting up first, then figure out their schedule, and then proceed to actually setting up the date.
I would seed the idea of a date/meeting up first, then figure out their schedule, and then proceed to actually setting up the date.
lol well that is what I've been doing...
I would seed the idea of a date/meeting up first, then figure out their schedule, and then proceed to actually setting up the date.
lol well that is what I've been doing...
Nothing wrong with how you initiated the date here. I'll spit out date ideas all the time before I know her schedule. When you frame them as adventures, and not "will you go to prom with me?", ofcourse she'll say yes, THEN I go for her schedule. Which you did fine.
First off, you're txts are fine, what I'm seeing is that you're still srsly hesitant towards the end when you actually start to see a girl want to go out with you....which she literally agreed to 4 times. (Ice skating, drinks, then chucky cheese, then chipotle).
Bottom line: You're not being polarizing enough.
You had her in the beginning when she was down to go ice skating but then let it taper off. You definitely have the skills but you're not using them. Instead you said "Txt me sometime when you're free". You know girls aren't gonna do that lol. You could've kept talking to her, built more trust and polarized it by talking about how you're gonna "throw her up in the ring like a ballerina, or trip her up on the ice, but then buy her icecream to make it up to her."
Just cause a girl is "working all day", doesn't mean shit to me. If I'm turning up the heat through txt game, letting it boil, then simmer it down a bit, she'll leave work and come see me. Or, I'll pick her up after work. OR, i'll show up at her work and play with all her teeny co-workadorks. Then tie up the manager, take over the joint, and turn it into a stripclub....she'll be my first employee ;)
Get it?
You're doing well of asking her questions, light teasing, seeding meetups, and asking for her sched....but get more polarity in there or she won't take any of it seriously.
P.S. hucky cheese was hilarious :D
Also, polarity means more investment from her. That's good! She wants to see you even more! That's "man to woman" communication.
I agree with all of that. I didn't realize I was still hesitating lol literally all of these girls say yes to date ideas and I'm wondering why the dates don't happen...it's ME not going for it. I guess I want them to flat out say they want to see me and that's just not a realistic situation with super duper hotties. I'll start to assume the attraction more and push harder. Thanks!!
Papaya wrote:
I would seed the idea of a date/meeting up first, then figure out their schedule, and then proceed to actually setting up the date.lol well that is what I've been doing...
Well what i'm trying to get at is when you seed date ideas and get compliance you need to deal with that shit and set up a date. If you just throw out ideas it's not gonna get you so far... she's not gonna do it for you either.
I'm not very good at vibing/ being silly and witty over tinder but i can show you what i mean from some recent tinder convos.
Mid convo:
Her: i live in ****
Me: are you still in *city*?
Her: yeah
Me: like actual city or that little village outside of it
Her: haha outside of it atm
Me: let me know when you come back, we should hang out
2 days later
Her: i'm back
Me: let's grab a beer, when are you free <--- not the smoothest way to do it but i knew she was invested
Her: tonight would work
Another one, from when i was in another city last week
Her: how long are you staying here?
Me: just until the 29th
Me: let's grab a beer on the 28th <--- i was matching with alot of chicks and i didnt have much to lose so i chose to be direct lol
Her: yes why not, or maybe some wine :)
Me: you better show me the best place in town ;)
Her: sure! not sure which places are open but i'll figure something out
See the difference? We're actually setting up the date here, and not just throwing out ideas. With your wittiness you should be able to much better than me to be honest.
Wait lol, I don't mean like shove it down her throat or anything...just want to be sure you got that lol. We never know with you ;)
I mean create an interesting dynamic between the two of you that subtly communicates you two are gonna be the "pow wow couple of the century".
For example when she said "working allllll day" in the beginning, I would've been like "whre do you work, looks like your workplace needs me as their labor consultant. One word. Slaves. I use them all the time. They're grrrrrrreat!"
Then you know where she works and can start subtly hinting stuff about rescuing her from her fire breathing dragon manager "after work" or visit her "during".
Even if that doesn't work, she definitely wont ask "who is this?" when you txt her a few days later.
And what papaya said
Solidify the plans after you've made them
But that comes afterwards
Yah I think I got it now, exactly what I was looking for I seriously had a blind spot to all of this. I didn't want to get straight up rejected I guess so I've been beating around the bush. Thx :)