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Joined: 02/09/2015

And now I'm not being let in to my favorite bar, they're deciding on whether or not to let me in. And I'm the one who was assaulted. I'm wondering what you guys would do about it.

So basically here's what happened.

It's around almost 1 AM on a Wednesday night. I roll up to my best friend at the bar who's on my right. There's a redhead on the left. I open her. She gives me a ton of shit tests, I just stay cool and positive, complimentary. I turn my back to her to talk to my friend, this conversation is over. She tells me to move somewhere else, I tell her this is America and I can stand wherever I want but if she wants to move that's fine with me. After a bit she taps my shoulders and being flirty with me. I re-engage and she's shit testing more. The more unreactive the more the shit tests but I can tell

she's getting turned on by it too. Then all of a sudden booom! I get sucker punched right in the nose from my right side.

I turn to see who it is, I'm gushing blood everywhere, all over my face, shirt and gushing on the floor. "That's my wife!". Uh wtf dude, you could have told me that before you broke my nose. For all I knew this chick was single.

I'm gushing blood all over my face, shirt, floor. I'm fucking livid. Such a bitch move and I know I didn't do anything wrong. Had you told me it was your wife I would have been polite and friendly and dipped. I'm also thinking this guy's married and going to have kids in the future, how fucked up of a family are you going to raise if this is your default way of handling this situation. You're a fucking grown ass man. I figure someone who's resorting to violence this quickly is probably a repeat offender, I want to press charges on this guy for assault, there's got to be consequences for his actions.

Except he's already kicked out. And people are basically saying oh you must have done something, the girl said you pinched her ass. WTF? I don't give a fuck what she's saying, I know what happened. I tell this to the manager, he tells me how he got arrested when his ex made up that he attacked her and didn't want me to get arrested. I tell him I don't give a fuck if I end up getting arrested, I know what I did and didn't do and I am willing to take that risk if it's what's needed for me to press charges on him assaulting me. But they've already let him go he eventually tells me. I'm fucking livid and tell him they should have given me a bit of an option because now the guy got away and in the future they should have better practices in place.

One of the bouncer's was cool, he knew MMA and set my nose back in place while it was still fresh. Big ups bouncer guy. Anyways my best friend is friends with all the bouncers and a lot of the staff and he tells me all of the bouncers were like we don't want your friend around. It makes sense looking back at it. I mean while I'm getting pissed off at the manager I'm fucking bleeding all over the place, everyone still in the bar is seeing this shit go down and hearing me talk about how shitty of a job they did with security procedures. I mentioned something about sueing but I'm not sure if it was against them, I think I probably said I wanted to sue the guy and press charges, I kind of blacked out from being so angry. The biggest thing I was pissed about was that there was no repercusions for the guy's actions, the broken nose was a far second place in my concern.

By the next morning I was pretty much over the broken nose thing and I actually felt bad because I got so angry that basically I was being rude to the manager and he just had to basically take it in front of everyone. I was also unappreciative of the fact security did help out, my best friend pulled out a fucking knife and was about to stab someone until one of the guys grabbed his hand and calmed him down. And even then he fucked up his knee and took some other kind of damage by getting throw around. So next day I was going to go in before work and thank the bouncers and apologize for having lost my temper and having been rude and unappreciative in the heat of the moment. These are guys I see all the time though to be honest I don't know very well. My friend's a really good smooth talker and he's much tighter with the staff there and so he said he would talk to them first.

But now I'm thinking okay cool, I was gonna drop it because I didn't want to bring more negativity and drama and bullshit over the event, guy got away fuck it, I slept on it and I've cooled off. I'm also over the broken nose if that's what it takes to bring back the peace. But now they're saying they don't know if they want to let me back in and I go there all the time. I'm the dude who got his nose broken and I'm willing to let it go but they're not sure they want to? If that's the case it's adding insult to injury. In that case not much else to lose, I'm thinking about getting a lawyer to get access to the surveillance footage to try to find this guy and press assault charges on him.

I'm also thinking about going in and talking to them basically try to make the peace. Honestly if I could have it my way I'd just go in there, grab a beer and laugh it off and drop it. But if they're going to get butt hurt about me basically causing a scene for bleeding all over the place and being upset I got assaulted that's just some busch league bullshit.

What would you guys do in this situation?

Joined: 03/03/2013
Step 1:  STOP hitting on

Step 1:  STOP hitting on married chicks!

Step 2:  Go get a helmet with a face mask.  Glue a large dildo on the front of the helmet.  Now you'll be both protected from sucker punches when you hit on married girls AND a walking conversational piece.  I think the poo-ah term is "peaCOCKing."

Joined: 02/09/2015
I don't even understand why

I don't even understand why you would feel the need to respond if that's what you were to write.

woberdor's picture
Joined: 09/30/2012
Archangel wrote: Step 1: 

Archangel wrote:
Step 1:  STOP hitting on married chicks!

Step 2:  Go get a helmet with a face mask.  Glue a large dildo on the front of the helmet.  Now you'll be both protected from sucker punches when you hit on married girls AND a walking conversational piece.  I think the poo-ah term is "peaCOCKing."

Dude why would you write that. He didn't even know the chick was married.

Joined: 12/03/2012
Where is this at?Sucked this

Where is this at?

Sucked this happened to you.  Its very important to have situational awareness.  Like be able to see what's going in the environment so you can tell if some jealous dude is looking at you all pissed.

Shit like this doesn't happen in Toronto very often, I know a guy who got punched super hard but he was being a dumbass.  I'd just let it go.  Sounds like if you did try to sue the girl would say some bullshit like you sexually assaulted her and then you'd get into trouble for that.  Never underestimate the amount of white knighting that goes on.

Joined: 02/27/2012
Sounds like you've thought of

Sounds like you've thought of the best solutions for yourself and what to do already.  Since it's your favorite bar, I'd say first thing would be to talk with them, apologize for losing your temper as that's totally understandable.  I don't see any reason why they wouldn't let you return since you did nothing wrong and were assaulted.  Mention the security cameras to backup your story.  If they refuse to let you back, then I'd say your next step would be to hire an attorney and get the security footage and do what you can to identify the guy and press charges.  File a police report after speaking to the bar about letting you back in, regardless of the outcome.

So a few different outcomes:  best case scenario, they understand after you speak to them about the situation without being pissed off and let you back in the bar.  Afterwards you file a police report about the situation, can somehow positively identify the guy and have charges pressed (If you don't want your wife hit up don't take her to a fucking bar?).  You even secure footage of the assault, etc.

Most likely case scenario is they let you back in and the guy is gone and never to be seen or heard from again, still have an open pending complaint, perhaps his friends hear about it, he stays inside for the majority of his life and double thinks assaulting for fear of prosecution.  You're back in your bar, business as usual - but now with a much higher situational awareness in your game and everyday life as a result (start asking yourself all the time 'am I present now?' and actually become intensely rooted in the moment, rub your hands and be here fully, or 'am I situationally aware?' and be fully present for a bit).  Not so bad, you're back in the bar, guy is free, but still pending criminal charges in case you or someone else identifies him.

Worst case scenario, bar doesn't let you back in for whatever reason, and you fail to get security footage and cannot find the guy or press any charges.  So be it, you find other places to frequent - in several months everyone forgets and you can go back anyway haha.  Whatever the case, as a result your game has a heightened sense of awareness for that kind of shit now. -- And there's all the other possible outcomes as well: they don't let you back in, but you secure footage of the assault, positively identify the guy and have fun watching him face criminal assault.  I wouldn't worry about her saying you sexually assaulted her since its been past the time of and it would only come as retaliatory after you press charges.  Curry up favor with staff who witnessed and can vouch, your friends etc. --- Not so bad, you find better places to go anyway - and you learn from this by being situationally aware (pretty much automatically after that kind of experience), and you learn to become friends with everyone at your favorite bar long before anything ever happens.  That way if something ever does happen, you know all the security and mangers and bartenders on a friendship level - automatically everyone takes your side and goes out of their way to help do what you want.  So whatever the outcome, you've definitely learned a lot and are much better off now - you know how to stack the deck in your favor for all future similar situations.

Joined: 03/03/2013
ClosingIsAHabit wrote: I

ClosingIsAHabit wrote:
I don't even understand why you would feel the need to respond if that's what you were to write.

It was a joke.  I was joking.  I made a humorous remark. I hoped you could tell by the part about the cock-helmet

Joined: 02/27/2012
It was a bad joke

It was a bad joke haha.

But you need to do whatever archangel did to get in touch with his intuition.  You can sense that kind of shit a mile away when you're connected.  Even for when people are lying, you just don't feel right and can sense something off.  When someone tries to goad you into an assault situation like this, alarm bells would be going off with your intuition - wouldn't feel right and you'd just get out of it.

Joined: 01/18/2012
That's the name of the game.

That's the name of the game. He wasn't ready


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Joined: 12/20/2013
Do venues/streets not have

Do venues/streets not have security cameras? Doesn't matter if he "got away", you call the police and you get the footage seized as evidence.

Additionally I'm sure there's something illegal with the bouncers letting a guy go who committed a serious crime in plain view. Talk to your lawyer.

I'm not sure why peopel are dismissing this as not a big deal; this is a huge fucking deal. You can do years behind bars for a crime like this, and you should be doing everything in your power to fight for justice for yourself.