Social Calibration

Damn dunno how to edit my op, but the latter part is all hyperlinked I guess, how can I change this?

Btw it's freaky how this video almost perfectly describes me

Let me ask you this.. what do you do after the opener. 

It is all in her eyes and body language. If she is tensing up, has a scared look in her eyes,  and leaning away from you then you came in way too hard. If you come in hard, lean back, and give her that space to feel it instead of being freaked out by it then she can process it without being blown out by it. Like the difference between dipping your toe in warm water and boiling water, if she is relaxed in the moment she is okay and just testing the quality of it, but if she is pulling away quickly then chill out with your aggresiveness a bit.

I open direct, but I keep my body language and eye contact relaxed, you might have that rapist intensity going on. I think you started out as safe and reserved then you found out that you do not have to be like that and leaped all the way over to the opposite extreme, just chill out and be normal with it, establish more patience in your game there is no need to rush nor try so hard. I know for me, when I was starting out, the thought of the girl not liking me would cause me to overescalate or be up all in her shit constantly gaming her because I felt the need to show her I was a bad ass and not a chump like all these other guys and it comes off as cartooney/insecure or, in some cases, scary. 

Manwhore and Story, appreciate both your replies.

@Manwhore

With nightgame I am usually going in physical and then drawing her closer towards me, I then say something like "hey you're cute, where are you from? or what's your name?" with a breaking rapport tonality. After this they say their name or where they're from and I go into talking about that topic. Not for long because I soon move into some other topic which is kinda out of context I guess and talk about other shit. Because although I do get somewhat stifled sometimes, 95% of the time I can just run my mouth about anything.

Like literally anything and all the while I am thinking...ok so when is this girl gonna get on her knees and suck? I now realize that I am thinking something like this all the time and I actually expect them to do it just because I approached and said some stuff. I guess in a normal social interaction this is not to be expected and somehow maybe that is the thing that scares these girls off? Sometimes I also just look at them to see what they will do and they just say something like "oh I have to go meet my friend".

During daygame, I tap them on the shoulders if they're infront of me and when they turn around they have this skeptical look, and I am like "Hey, you're cute, I just wanted to come say hi" sometimes they lighten up, a lot of times they just kinda keep walking away from me while still looking at me, other times they just turn red.

@Story

Yeah I can definitely relate to the first part of your post, would you say that slowing down a little bit would also help this? Like talking slower. Another thing is that I really do think that some of the things she does like the skeptical look or tensing up a little bit is a Shit Test from her. But maybe this perception is flawed and shit tests are only verbal and not in her eyes or bodylanguage(in her subcommunication).

If you want to talk slow, talk slow, my man. Definitely, do not talk slow because you think it is what she wants you to do. It is more about being relaxed in your frame and being relaxed when you talk does not necessarily dictate the speed you are talking at. Think about it more like you are doing stuff for your frame and the type of baseline you want to be coming from and interacting on with her instead of what you think she wants.

Generally, anything she is doing that is a logical response, stuff like skeptical or disinterested or hard to get or any of that gamey shit I do not take seriously and just do what I feel to have the interaction that I want to have. Any physical responses that she gives me automatically I take as real feedback. It could be bad like she tenses up or good like she looks down and relaxes her jaw. I want the interaction to be on a physical, not logical, level anyways, so I focus more on communicating with her body. If it helps, when it comes to subcommunication and her body, I always see it as she is leaning in to my frame(qualifying herself for validation), she is neutral and just focused on our conversation, or she is leaning back(screening me to see if I lean in to get in her frame). I like to have her in an emotional state where she is qualifying herself when I am picking her up, but if I get into a longer term thing I like her to be neutral and enjoying herself and occassionally qualifying herself for my validation because it makes the sex so much better when she is fucking you from a place of hoping you like her.

As long as you are doing what you want to have the type of interaction you want then she is free to play in your frame. This is one of those things that shall become clearer to you over time the more you do it, remember to have patience with yourself and with the interaction and you can enjoy yourself. Any "I need this to happen right now" mentality is just needy stupid shit.

Yes I know that things will come in time, I've refrained from asking any questions on game before trying things out myself for a long while. And I feel like right now is the time for me to really understand some of the shit I've done and learn more by communicating with other people into this.

As for me, when I saw that video from above and after watching it a few times, finally understanding that SO MUCH of it was me. It kind of freaked me out, as I thought game was just supposed to be played like this. Like I am doing it, from a frame of: "well that girl kinda freaked out, I'll just try it 100 more times..." and actually thinking I will learn by reference experience and it will get better by itself. 

But it actually doesn't get better and I am most of the time approaching way too strong. Like even coming in to groups of people and being very direct to the girl I want, because that's what I thought would be the proper way to do it. I think the issue with me is, as Jeffy mentioned in the video, too much balls and too little brains. 

So I am thinking now what, what do I actually respond to from a girl and what do I take as a shit test (aka be "indifferent" to it).

Do not psyche yourself out, my man

Have a focal point, if you need it, learn from it and your understanding shall evolve

A lot of game in the beginning for me was just becoming comfortable with approaching and as that anxiety went away my attention to detail opened the fuck up and shit I did not notice before because I was too anxious or in my head or wanted the girl to validate me or whatevas and it  just became obvious to me

The elusive obvious like Dave D would always say

Funny username by the way you living in a fridge or something, my man

Icey pimp, lmfao

Hey Brrr I'm actually finishing up a vlog today that answers a few of your questions. 

:o I just finished meditation and checked this...knew the ghost of meditation would bring me something today. Appreciate it man, looking out for it!