Strange libido

Ok this is a very awesome question/first post thanks for writing it up. 

I think to a certain degree this is an example of "as a man", "putting all your eggs in one basket". Or not even that you are putting all your eggs in one basket, but that you haven't really developed more than one egg to put in any basket, lol. You're a young dude. You got to start pursuing not just women but other goals as well. You clearly have strong drives and you need to start fulfilling them. 

Us guys need more than one life focus/project at any one time. We also need to always make sure we stay on track in each main area of life. E.g. the physical realm (exercise, nutrition, general health), the emotional (sex and relationships), and personal accomplishment (financial independence, "vision"). Meaning we can't be too focused on finances and forget our physical being.

But also, when we reach low points in any one given category, it is crucial we have more than that focus to maintain ourselves so that the depression/angst/low sense of personal accomplishment doesn't overtake us and take us below the threshhold of "taking action". This is a true phenomenon. And you have experienced it already. You are very fortunate that you seem to naturally recover and bounce back. I am also the same way. But a lot of guys are not. They ride that wave for long periods of time, sometimes forever. 

Thank you very much for replying MW. I want you to know that I really like your teachings, and I posted on this forum specifically because I trust your judgements (Not to mention the face that you are trained in CBT).

You are right, I am young, I am 21. I am actually staying focused on all the other areas of life. I am very keen on self-development, I have a lot of friends, I have career ambitions which I am trying to achieve, I exercise regularly (muay thai & running), meditation... And even with this problem I now have, it doesnt really affect my mental or emotional state, but of course my life would be better if it gets solved :P.

I am already thankful for yor advice, but do you think its better if I stop focusing on pick-up completely for now until this thing gets solved, or is it better if I keep pushing through despite it?

What's your vision of "greatness" when it comes to being with women/a woman? 

My visions of greatness? Well 10-15 years down the line I do want to actually be married and have a family and all, so I am going to stick to what I want until then.

Right now, I want to achieve abundance with women. To have a lot of friends with benefits (fuckbuddies), and at the same time keep on picking up women, whether in a bar, social circle, coffee shop... And its not only about sex. I am very fond of the emotional experience as well. Like right now, I have had a fuckbuddy for 2 months who I really like. So when she comes over, after we fuck for 3 or 4 times (The first fuck of the night, I am always forcing myself, but I already explained all that), then we watch a movie or some series together, and we could talk for hours and hours and hours. I remember talking for about 10 hours non-stop once :P. And I dont mean about boring shit, I am acually skilled in talking to elevate my own state, feel great about myself, and then have the woman feel carefree because I am in that state, the way RSDTyler does it. And I am usually in state, so besides being happy and interesting, I could be quite funny, I am talking about her laughing her ass off every 30 seconds...

And then the next day, I take her out to places I have been wanting to visit, so its mostly city exploring (I live in London), or to some comedy show, art gallery, strange performances, and I am the one doing all the leading and taking all the decisions, and if we both have time, we go home and fuck again...With all that said, I manage to genuinely be completely non-needy, non-possessive, and not validation-seeking in any kind of way (My inner game is well developed, its been my main area of focus in game for the last 2 years). But this girl is quite high value, and she super easy going, outgoing, fun, funny, curious, smart... She has many qualities I like in women, so I know that if I keep limiting myself to just her, I will get attached one way or another and fuck it up. So I want to have 4 or 5 other fuck-buddies, and still go pick up women a few times during the week to make sure I am abundant. That way I can keep having awesome experienes with women like the fwb I am seeing right now for example, without getting attached and fucking it up. 

I am sorry if I gave too much details :P. To sum it up, I want awesome sex, and awesome quality time, physically and emotionally, with awesome women. And I want to be awesome at continuing to pick up new girls as well, and then turning the ones I like into fuckbuddies :P. 

How present would you say you become when you begin having sex?

Is there a sense of uneasiness or any sort of strange feeling?

I feel like most guys have a natural problem that can simply be solved by breathing naturally from the stomach and focusing on the girl they're banging. It's not easy to master but once you do it these problems should subside. Also, testosterone does play a factor too however, you're a young guy who exercises regularly. How's your diet? I just started making green smoothies again and they're the bomb.com

G-money, my presence when I start having sex depends on how horny I am. If I am really horny, like what used to be the case 1 month ago, then I am really present, but if I dont feel like it, then its easy to get a bit stuck in my head, and thats when the slightly uneasy or strange feeling creeps in. But you are right in suspecting that I am not very present in the beginning maybe, that would explains why after the first time, I can just keep going for it again and again. But I will definitely focus more attention on breathing from the stomach. My diet is very healthy, I dont think its physical. I am making those green smothies as well right now :P.

I am going to mention a small details, and I am sorry if its very vivid, but I think its the best accurate description of whats going on. Usually as a guy, and the way I used to feel before, if I am lying on the bed alone doing nothing, even if I am completely soft, I would feel like getting laid mentally and emotionally, you know, I would feel like it. Whereas now, if I am lying in bed alone in the same way, I dont fancy getting laid or anything. If I stroke myself for 30 seconds, and get a boner, then I start craving it. But before I touch myself, its almost a tad repulsive even... I am sorry again for the graphic details.... And thanks a lot for your contribution.

Oh I forgot to mention that before this thing started one month ago, I was fully present during sex, from beginning to end.

Great post, and  thanks for being honest, and not holding back. Whorebanger and moneyballs have given some great advice here. 

I have dealt with something very similar. First off I'd recommend going to the doctor and getting your hormones checked. Testesterone and cortisol would be a good place to start. I would have my thyroid levels checked as well, I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease called hashimoto's. it was draining me of all kinds of drive and energy. Now i take a thyroid hormone to regulate and its been a huge improvement. For a long time I was trying to solve the problem without fully understanding the whole problem.  I would look into taking selenium and zinc. I really like Maca powder as well, I put it in the smoothie.

Smoking will obviously kill your libido, so does too much drinking. 

I have also come to better understanding of my energetic connection with my dick and my balls, here is a good place to start.

As I retread my post, although I stand by it, I don't want you to freak out thinking there's something wrong. So often I find that the biggest problem when it domes to things like this is that we convince ourselves that there is a problem. I only meant to give you some ideas that helped me, not to freak you out lol. There is no doubt whatsoever that you'll figure it out and get back on track. Staying relaxed and grounded about it is key

Thanks for your advice Jack. I have actually watched this same video after GMoney's advice on breathing from the stomach, I will definitely start trying it. If it stays the same with me for a long time, I will probably go see a doctor. But like you said, I am guessing that this is self-inflicted. After my 1st break up, I started thinking its actually physiological, but it clearly turned out to be just in my head. And there have been a couple of days when I was uncontrollably horny during this period, and I was having random boners whenever I sat down or was in a relaxed position. OH MY GOD, as I am writing this, I remembered that the 2 super horny days came right after the second time I slept with my fwb. It couldnt have been anything else, because we had an all-nighter and went to uni without any sleep, and then I was walking with a boner for 48 hours.Thats it, I figured it out. This shit is entirely mental and self-inflicted, and now that I remember that I went out of it for a couple of days by having sex, I think thats what I should do. Rather than take a step back, I should just keep gaming, knowing that this is a stupid mind thing and that it can go away any day, and after I dont know how many fucks, things should be normal again :P. Thank you all for the help, much apprecited.

Cool yeah, and in so doing you will teach your body that losing a vagina is a temporary condition. Lol