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sup! just got back on tinder - trying to meet up with this blonde 9

17 replies [Last post]
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Joined: 04/20/2012

whats up homies! I didn't have tinder for a while because it was taking up too much time, but I just moved into a new city for the summer and the nightlife here is non existent or filled with sloppy trailer park trash lol damn small towns. But there are lots of lookers here out during the day, really nice cute small town with lots of money. I've had some success chatting up girls at coffee shops and there is a farmers market Ive been meaning to go to and try to score a rich divorcee sugar momma aha. 

So just got tinder back a few days now and already have a bunch of numbers. Two girls which gave me them and had tentative plans to meetup never happened so I have to go back and see if and what the common thread is cause I really liked the one. 

This convo is with a 23 year old STUNNING tall skinny blonde with a goregous face. Model material for sure. 

me: whats up Jess u r a q t

me: I wanna meet you

me: so long as your not a loud chewer or something I couldn't handle that

her: lucky for you I also cant stand the sound of chewing, even my own

her: so youre safe there! 

me: haha thats a big plus 

me: whatre you up to this lazy sunday 

me: its seewww nice out    

^^bit of a sloppy mistake on these, should've played around more but she bit so I wanted to go into some rapport - should've mentioned something silly to better segway into the whatre you up to/what do you do talk . 

her: well, at this exact moment Im snuggling my cat lol

her: what about you :)

me: nice I wanna join

me: but i slightly allergic to cats so I might have to boot it out after a while

me: I just finished a coffee on my patio, going to do a bit of work no plans for later yet

me: what brought you here tinderella            (profile just mentions shes new to tinder) 

her: im not really sure! just wanted to see what the hype was about 

me: aha all the hype of bad pickup lines, awkward first dates, used condoms and regret - youve come to the right place 

me: whatre you up to this summer, finished school? working? being a cat lady?

her: I dont actually like cats just this one

her: and yeah done school but not working yet just going to try to enjoy the summer lol

me: dogs>cats and even people for that matter. 

me: whats your degree in

me: Im in a similar boat I guess, just moved for work so I want to explore the city a lot this summer 

her: economics 

her: to here?

me: ooh beauty and brains - had to make sure you weren't a pretty xxxx girl mouching off daddy   (xxxtown shes from is known for this lol) 

me: ya mostly here. bouncing around alot, might travel a bit in europe this summer but otherwise i just want to stay near the beach

blah blah blah.. she says she loves going downtown in the summer, I qualify her if shes outdoorsy, she says yeah. I tell her shes going to be my nature buddy and I'll bring her on hikes and I just get a "maybe :)"

me: you mean you dont usually meet strange boys and go deep into the woods with them as a first date

me: weird  (not sure if this was a good move or if I am just making her concerns worse by bringing them to the surface lol) 

her: yeah i hesitated saying yes there because im a huge scaredy cat lol      (but at least it drawed out her saying that she is DOWN if she wasn't so scared) 

me: aw aha baby boo i'll take good care of you

me: I fought off a bear camping once, dont need to worry

few minutes later me: text me you number Im going out now, easier to chat there 555-5555     (try to smooth it over a bit and this number close was terrrriblleee ugh) 

her: i dont think im ready to give out my number yet 

me: yeah yeah 

me: still going to have to interview you over drinks sometime before the hiking trip to make sure your not a cereal killa. never know     (once again not sure if I am making things better or worse here lol , I think she just needs a little more real talk to solidfy things) 

her: i cant promise that but maybe!     (maybe, maybe, maybe! Grrrr..) 

me: well make up your mind women

me: starting to wonder if Im being catfished by a 47 year old man who never wears pants and wants to take advantage of me

her: ahh you caught me! not 47 tho im 63

her: and dont worry im pretty scrawny 

me: mm ok ill feel safer then, thats still kewl Im actually only 13 and was looking to date older women. so im stil down if you want to take me for icecream

her: ahh im sorry im not a woman im a 63 year old man

her: im pretty hairy with my pot belly sticking out of the shirts i buy from baby gap

her: and yeah maybe :) 

soooo thats the last message I got almost an hour ago now. aha nice she is playing along the baby gap thing was hilarious. earlier she was replying with one worded answers almost felt like I was going to have to start pulling teeth. she is giving a lot of maybes and not yets. she is definitely interested but maybe not invested enough. Trying to figure out where to take things now. Thinking of goofing off on this topic a bit and then getting a bit more real rapport wise before trying to close on the iceream/drinks idea. Earlier I was trying to get her out this evening but going to play the long game now, no rush.

Any and all input is much appreciated. Thanks playas 

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Joined: 05/26/2017
Oh man I haven't really

Oh man I haven't really looked at text game in a while, so this fun. 

You have really good text game dude- use it more. Seemed like you fell into rapport too quickly (which you pointed out) but then you never really got back on track.

i woulda kept going wth the gum chewing thing. Made it into an "us against the world" conspiracy. 

uhm so I think what MAY have triggered her to be a lil on edge about this, if anything, may have been that you have like super abrupt transitions from silly to logical back to silly 

Like every time you say something nice you immediately take it back like the very next text and a lot of times it's not reallly in rhythm. Like if a text thread is a freestyle rap, the times you pull back have to be on rhythm so ya idk maybe try building up her positive emotions a little more and then having those pull-backs be a lil less common. 

What do you think? I could be totally off base here

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Joined: 04/20/2012
Yeah fully understand what

Yeah fully understand what you mean by having bad flow to the conversation. At the time, in my head, I think I was putting that on her with her sometimes simple replies but I take that all on now. It would've been wayyy better if I interweaved the silly with the rapport instead of bouncing back and forth. This is the mistake I got with my first reply - I should have done something like what you said, carried on the loud chewer into a us agasinst the world while asking her about her shit... Instead of cutting off the thread and switching vibes. Lots of careless errors, that and the poor number attempt. 

She is also a stereotype of a certain girl from this area, almost like a diva beverly hill/valley girl pretencious stereotype they have. She fits the bill (although it is yet to be seen if she has much more going on with her) and is also next level hot, so she must be used to having dudes cater to her and fawning over her. Taking that into account as well. 

Hmm. Ok Im going to try to craft something up now. Its been a few hours, I don't want to leave it too long while Im still on her mind. Might get lost in with the rest of the messages. 

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Joined: 04/20/2012
- hmm maybe? - I promise not

- hmm maybe?

- I promise not to go all chris hansen on you if you take me out for icecream and then we could get matching outfits at baby gap

- *insert text that brings us back to reality* either "im ending my sunday funday by being stuck in summer construction season traffic ughh" or "if you're not working how do you keep busy during the week, aside from giving free candy to lil boys"

something along those lines. I should seriously get real with her and maybe get her to qualify herself a bit more so the meetup seems more down to earth... I don't know. Im hoping the first text and the last one kinda bait her into talking more about herself (hopefully she isn't just all about her looks but thats yet to be seen). Any feedback before I fire those off?

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Joined: 05/26/2017
my gut tells me you may want

my gut tells me you may want to back off the meetup request for a couple texts, get her emotions up and then like maybe ask again in a lil bit? 

Lol im outta my depth here tho my man. At this point I'm just goin by feel and prob giving you bad advise 

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Joined: 04/20/2012
Ahah naw its good feedback. I

Ahah naw its good feedback. I know what you mean, I already have too many "no's" (or maybes rather) from her so I definitely don't want to seem like Im gunning for the meetup again. The first text "hmm maybe?" I want to bait her into opening up about why shes apprehensive - aside from being a scared kitty. maybe ill go with "maybe? ;)" devils in the details when it comes to this. and then the next text is to just play off the silly roleplay but I definitely don't want to make it seem like Im pushing for the meetup with too much thirst. A little bit of gusto is good with the hotties but thirst is bad. then the last text I want to bring it back down to earth and get a genuine convo going.... although from what i've seen shes probabbly going to give a one word answer or ignore one of the three texts lmao. We'll see. Im going to sit on it for a bit, maybe change a few things before I send it out

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
No ice, you're straight up

No ice, you're straight up freaking this girl out.

It started with the cat snuggling thing, then basically giving tinder a bad rep with the used condoms txt, and followed it up with a strange boy in the woods kinda thing...then tried to disqualify her as being a catfish...lol very clever ;)

You need to tone it done, and that doesn't mean being lame. Be cool, share about yourself in an awesome manner. Lay off the meetups and number closing stuff for a bit and reel her back in.

She likes you enough to stay through this potential silence of the lambs ordeal so good on ya mate, a case of stockholm syndrome is always a safe move ;p

-Much Love Jihad

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Joined: 04/20/2012
lmaoo haha stockholm sydrome.

lmaoo haha stockholm sydrome. I am throwing too much shit at the wall but at least some of it stuck. The cat thing... ehhh. Ok. Dont thing that line was degrading our tinderlationship at all, if anything putting us a cut above the rest. The rest of it I am on the same page with you though, ty <3

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Joined: 05/26/2017
I agree with the jihad guy :)

I agree with the jihad guy :)

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Correction, that cat snuggle

cat snuggle txt was good, just not smooth. No emojis, or even an lol or something, and then u moved straight into another txt. It comes across like you weren't serious about it and tried to distract from it.

Lines like those are GAME CHANGERS...if u really want to utilize them (which you should), you need to time it and use them purposefully

Let those txts stand by themselves with some spice...so she has to respond to it alone 

<3

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Joined: 04/20/2012
agreed definitely jerky, like

agreed definitely jerky, like what mefist pointed out - terrible riddem to the whole thing, no flow. Thanks for the critique much appreciated 

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Keep us posted dudeeeee

Keep us posted dudeeeee

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Joined: 05/26/2017
Dude texting is like free

Dude texting is like free styling. The words don't really matter if you're totally and completely in the rhythm 

Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
I would have immediately

I would have immediately teased when she mentioned she was snugglin with the cat! I think you gave some power away when you said you wanted to join. Thats my only critique, Jihad hit the rest :)

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Hahaha yea meow loves hittin

Hahaha yea meow loves hittin those cat ladies ;) 

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Joined: 01/18/2012
Daddyjihad1 wrote: No ice,

Daddyjihad1 wrote:
No ice, you're straight up freaking this girl out.

It started with the cat snuggling thing, then basically giving tinder a bad rep with the used condoms txt, and followed it up with a strange boy in the woods kinda thing...then tried to disqualify her as being a catfish...lol very clever ;)

You need to tone it done, and that doesn't mean being lame. Be cool, share about yourself in an awesome manner. Lay off the meetups and number closing stuff for a bit and reel her back in.

She likes you enough to stay through this potential silence of the lambs ordeal so good on ya mate, a case of stockholm syndrome is always a safe move ;p

-Much Love Jihad

He nailed it. You goofed on all those big time. But yeah if it manages to work out she's definitely #inittowinit. The cat snuggle pickup line was pretty cliche in fact she probable was aware the fact she was putting bait out any frat bro would instantly recognize. Then you brought up used condoms and regret. REALLY?! Wtf! What are we breeding on here, numb nutz? You can present a little more class, buddy. It's easy. The strange boy in the woods was also terrible timing. Tho I've made that work before. LOL

Notice she actually used the catfish line as a reason to disqualify herself.

Straight up you come off quite douchey in your convo. Even tho you're definitely not.

Also dude.. your spelling and punctuation is atrocious. And hers is perfect. You really don't know the difference between your and you're?

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Joined: 04/20/2012
BARF! Yeah my spelling was on

BARF! Yeah my spelling was on it's P's and Q's in text, just was sloppy having to type all these texts out. Anyone know if MW's text uploader app is still around? I found the download link but not sure if it is updated and still in use - I just converted to android and want to post a bunch more text and tinder convos. This one is an example of what happens when I am too horny, texting several girls at once pushing for a SNL. Humour gets mixed up and convos get twisted, nothing is calibrated. Bleh, fukdisbish n-e-wayz lol I got a bunch of numbers off tinder this week and set up two dates. 

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Joined: 01/18/2012
I'm looking into getting

I'm looking into getting another one developed

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I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information