Text message exchange w/ hilarious 30+ hipster

I find some drunk cougar. Start dancing w/her. Start verbally taunting her. Quick makeout. Drag her around the venue and make her really qualify herself to me. Asshole mode for the win!. I pull her into some little nook n cranny and continue more makeout times. Security breaks us up. Fuckin fags. I chill back, some chode is w/her friend and for some reason we all get kicked out the bar. Ok most of the time I get kicked out of a venue its because I was doing something stupid but this is was just stupid. I'm outside w/my girl, her friend and some chode. Chode is trying to lead the party but he's too needy and shit. I play it cool, light kissing here and there, have the girl rub my boner against my skinny jeans "look what you made me do :)". And start talking extra dirty. She kind of objects so I'm like ok chill back. Wash rinse repeat. She and her friend are fuckin hilarious btw. Chode eventually blows himself out. Just chill bro - they're like 6.5s.

I actually chill out for 5 minutes and sort of ignore them. I gauge the odds and realize it's 3 something so i might as well stick w/it. Go back in, lead, win over the friend, and we take a cab to my car.

Get back to their place. I tease my girl during the car ride, just sort of placing my hands in between her legs and make her squeeze my boner from time to time. I made out w/her friend as well but that girl wasn't drunk she was fuckin wasted and in need of some dick.. My girl kept saying "damn babe, me and you are fucked". Slight foreshadowing. She and I knew the logistics were messy but I said stick it out to the bitter end.

So "I have to use the bathroom" and my girl is cool with it. Get back to their apartment in Williamsburg. They don't have the fuckin keys. I wait w/them for 20-25 minutes, my girl's little sister wasn't picking up the phone. O fuck logistical nightmare. I invite them back to my place, but the girl's friend is being an annoying drunk emotional wreck and I think i'm better off not taking them to my place (my roomie is the most anal retentive person ever) I decide to leave and am slightly angry at myself for wasting 30-40 minutes w/them but I'm a damn opportunist at the moment.



Me: 08/31/2012 14:35:05 Hey Kelly, I heard from your little sis that you finally made it in..I have to hear how you managed to do it lol
Her: 08/31/2012 14:39:56 Thank you :D we are a bit hungover today, just a bit....how was you?
Me: 08/31/2012 14:42:23 Lol "how was you". Do you talk like that sober as well
Her: 08/31/2012 14:45:28 Yeah, as me when im sober lol
Her: 08/31/2012 14:45:39 Ask
Her: 08/31/2012 14:47:06 Lmao Anita said thank you as well for taking care of our sorry asses
Me: 08/31/2012 14:56:48 Don't mention it. When are we gonna meet up for some ice cream bebe
Me: 08/31/2012 15:13:21 Heh it's alrite I have a friend who can translate ebonics into English for us ;)
Her: 08/31/2012 15:23:42 Lol Anita wants to know if he is as cute as you?
Me: 08/31/2012 15:34:38 He comes close but I'm more handsome beb
Me: 08/31/2012 15:39:19 (send picture of me and my buddy)
Me: 08/31/2012 16:25:04 can't you just speak English? Makes life way easier for both of us
Her: 08/31/2012 16:26:41 Que? Como?
Me: 08/31/2012 16:27:48 tu hablas ingles porque yo soy el hombre de guapo
Her: 08/31/2012 16:29:35 Joder! He speaks Spanish well
Me: 08/31/2012 16:34:41 porquito bonita.....when are we meeting up for ice cream and a margarita

Hmm. not sure how to proceed from here. Logistics are bad and if this is going to go down I need to meet up soon. She's leaving on Sunday, but I won't be around on Sunday so this is more of some hardcore persistence I assume. I think I have the value here for a change.