That time deliberately bad text game worked
Me: Fb friend me, prick. Do you even have cookies or no
her: cookies??? what you smoking??
Me: Lol. Cuban cigars I'm sober as fuck.
Her: haha just learnt how to sign filthy cunt :')
Me: lol! only Auslan would bother with that one
Her: Yep, I've learned a lot tonight ;)
Her: out and about tonight?
Me: On my way to a goth party. I'm not even goth in any way - just a disco ninja.
Her: haha awesome
Me: how's your night? Spanktastic?
Her: Amazeballs come for a dance?
Me: Where the frick are you, woman
Me: you're hiding in a toilet cubicle
Her: heading to [pub]
Her: will meet you in the toilet
Me: My dick won't fit
Me: I invented toilet paper
Me: i'll sign some for you
Me: and your boobs
Me: you're welcome, prick
Her: hahaha your off to head
Me: stop talking dirty. You don't know how
Her: No idea ;)
Her: I got a new haircut
Me: trying to dodge immigration ro what?
Me: I was in [near clubs] but now I'm in [suburb on other side of town] with the easily frightened Goths lol
Me: pretty sure you 3 bewbs
Her: you make no sense
Me: Shhh. Just go with it.
Me; How's your toilet disco dance booth
Me: We can't mate like lions because you're prob bad breeding genes
Her: hahahaha in toilet at [gay club] now :P
Me: It's because youre secretly scared of vaginas
Me: stop thinking about me
Me: and rating toilet paper
Me: particularly at the same time. it's offensive
Me: Babe... I'm sleepy. Give me a back rub.
Her: Come here and I will!
Her: so many straight people here at [gay club]
Me: your hands better smell like lavender scented bathroom soap.
Me: we need to take it back
Me: i'm coming soon as reinforcements
Me: i'm putting you on a sammich with mayonnaise
Me: I hope yourre not actually tofu
Me: [send pic of dance floor i'm on]
Her: [gay club]?
Me: I'm back in cansas, baby. are you dancing like a white dad at a bbq or a stripper who is behind on rent?
her: totes the stripper
Me: i'm coming to watch.
Her: hahah no your not
Her: if you come you can take me home
Me: [gay club] smells like vagina
Me: i'm coming to sink my teeth into you
Her: haha whatever
Me: you smell like fruitloops vaingas
Me: you're straight girl. Pffft.
Her: hahaha whateves i go home then
Me: where u. i'm here
Me: call captain chicken schnitzel
Me: ur introuble. like always
Me: I'm sleep homo. wanna go home soon. come get me before creepy lesbian does.
Her: where you
Her: we go? Meet ya out front?
Me: I already on way home super tired
conversation continues on a little bit.
basically i'd met up with her in the club and just wasn't phsycially attracted to her enough to want to take her home, so I changed my mind and I splipped away and just said I was too tired over text.
Just because I haven't posted anything in a while.
Oh what to do when your female friends want to bang you..