That time deliberately bad text game worked

Me: Fb friend me, prick. Do you even have cookies or no

her: cookies??? what you smoking??

Me: Lol. Cuban cigars I'm sober as fuck.

Her: haha just learnt how to sign filthy cunt :')

Me: lol! only Auslan would bother with that one

Her: Yep, I've learned a lot tonight ;)

Her: out and about tonight?

Me: On my way to a goth party. I'm not even goth in any way - just a disco ninja.

Her: haha awesome

Me: how's your night? Spanktastic?

Her: Amazeballs come for a dance?

Me: Where the frick are you, woman

Me: you're hiding in a toilet cubicle

Her: heading to [pub]

Her: will meet you in the toilet

Me: My dick won't fit

Me: I invented toilet paper

Me: i'll sign some for you

Me: and your boobs

Me: you're welcome, prick

Her: hahaha your off to head

Me: stop talking dirty. You don't know how

Her: No idea ;)

Her: I got a new haircut

Me: trying to dodge immigration ro what?

Me: I was in [near clubs] but now I'm in [suburb on other side of town] with the easily frightened Goths lol

Me: pretty sure you 3 bewbs

Her: you make no sense

Me: Shhh. Just go with it.

Me; How's your toilet disco dance booth

Me: We can't mate like lions because you're prob bad breeding genes

Her: hahahaha in toilet at [gay club] now :P

Me: Pssht

Her: hahahahaha

Me: It's because youre secretly scared of vaginas

Me: stop thinking about me

Me: and rating toilet paper

Me: eating*

Me: particularly at the same time. it's offensive

Me: Babe... I'm sleepy. Give me a back rub.

Her: Come here and I will!

Her: so many straight people here at [gay club]

Me: your hands better smell like lavender scented bathroom soap.

Me: we need to take it back

Me: i'm coming soon as reinforcements

Me: i'm putting you on a sammich with mayonnaise

Me: I hope yourre not actually tofu

Me: [send pic of dance floor i'm on]

Her: [gay club]?

Me: I'm back in cansas, baby. are you dancing like a white dad at a bbq or a stripper who is behind on rent?

her: totes the stripper

Me: i'm coming to watch.

Her: hahah no your not

Her: if you come you can take me home

Me: [gay club] smells like vagina

Me: i'm coming to sink my teeth into you

Her: haha whatever

Me: you smell like fruitloops vaingas

Me: you're straight girl. Pffft.

Her: hahaha whateves i go home then

Me: where u. i'm here

Me: call captain chicken schnitzel

Me: ur introuble. like always

Me: I'm sleep homo. wanna go home soon. come get me before creepy lesbian does.

Her: where you

Her: we go? Meet ya out front?

Me: I already on way home super tired

Her: REally!!

conversation continues on a little bit.

 basically i'd met up with her in the club and just wasn't phsycially attracted to her enough to want to take her home, so I changed my mind and I splipped away and just said I was too tired over text.

Just because I haven't posted anything in a while.