Tinder Cat Sexting and Memes + Lay Report
This entire interaction is coming out great lol By far my best texting yet and it gets very intimate and engaging towards the end
Me: Unicorns are cute but you're on another level
Her: You're daddy af (tongue emoji)
Me: lol thanks pumpkin
Me: whatcha up to
Her: I was just laying in my tanning bed (crying laughing emoji)
Me: im going to dinner after a long day of fighting crime
Me: its a lot of work catching bad guys
Me: I needa side kick
Her: I'll be your side kick (devil emoji)
Me: means a lot hun
Me: do you look sexier as catwoman or poison ivy?
Her: I'd prolly pull off both
Me: ohh even better
Me: I switch off between batman and spiderman
Me: sometimes the hulk when i'm feelin it
Me: whats your # I don't have wifi
Her: I feel like everyone has the hulk in them (crying laughing emoji)
Move to text
Me: Hi kitty kat this is (name)
Me: soo I heard some thugs are trying to steal all of starbucks white girl iced coffes
Me: we needa stop them
Her: let them steal them, they can't steal my starbucks though :/
Me: we are vigilanntes beb
Me: we stop them and steal all of it ourselves
Me: the dark sexy knights
Her: then run away
Me: Run?? we have the batmobile.. ha!
Me: Whats yout schedule lookin like monday?
Her: I prefer the invisible boat mobile from spongebob lmfaooo
Me: ohh gawd girl that is exactly what we are driving
Me: good idea
Me: (meme from spongebob "you used to call me on my shell phone")
Her: (cryng laughing emojis)
Me: where are you from (name)
Her: (town) and you?
Me: go to school in (town) and live in (town)
Her: nice, how old are you?
Me: pls dont tell me you're 16
Her: i'm actually 15
Her: just turned 19
Her: lmfaoo im kidding
Me: ahh cool!
Me; any specia talents you would like to expose
Me: as super heros this will come in handy
Me: I can talk to cats
Her: I can talk to my dog lmfaoo
Me: thats cool!
Me: these lil kittems can be soo nasty
Me: hope you're not one of those kittens, cat woman :)
Her: i'm a grown ass cat :)
Her: you're the cat daddy :P <----AWWW
Me: Meow Meow Meow the things i'd do to those whiskers
Her: ohhh :)
Me: mkae you purr like youve never done before
Me: two cats just hangin out
Her: I'll make you purr :)
Me: I just got back from karate class im so ninja now
Me: it's a gym class at my school lol
Her: so you're a certified ninja now?
Me: yes ms. curvykitty I am dangerous to say the least
Her: well ninjas suck, I'm a samurai :)
Me: ohh really lil homie
Me: are we gonna fight
Me: i'll whoop your butt AND buy you hot coco afterwards
Her: fight me :)
Me: I can't for a few days i'm so busy <--- something new I learned. It makes it feel like the date was her idea
Me: next week tho
Her: thatd fine
Me: I have some night classes so I am free monday nights but the rest are tricky to schedule
Me: how bout you?
Her: I'm free whenever, I took a gap year :)
Me: I wish I did that lol
Me: monday i'm going to pick you up and we are going to ride through the beautiful city of (town) like gangsters and maybe eat food if we are feelin it
Her: yeah but I still have no idea where I wanna go to school lmfaooo
Her: (town) sucks lol
Me: (baby doing gang signs meme)
Me: professional gansgter
Me: no need for education
Her: im triggered
Me: I'vve got some organic chemistry work to do, nerd time!
Me: i'll talk to yah later
Me: sorry to end the convo so abruptly i'm in a bit of a crunch
Her: its fine :)
Me: Hi pumpkin i'm done being a nerd I can talk now :)
Her: hi cutie :)
Me: whatcha up to smexy
Her: im with my little cousins, wyd?
Me: i'm just looking at memes and laughing my ass off! All my lame ass friends are busy rn
Her: my 11 year old sister looks at memes :)
Me: beb are you implying that i'm a child?
Me: (DOPE meme... a sloth whispering in ear "do you like ladies?...cause imma ladies nuts across your face")
Her: lay em on my face :) <----OH BABY
Me: lol don't even think about taking advantage of me like that <---we already did the sexting thing a bit so I did some slight disqualification, it could have been more playful tho
Her: lol I was kidding
Me: Ha! you're so cute
Me: how are the kiddies doin
Me: watching them all night?
Her: they're actually leaving pretty soon <--- I was busy but prob could have persued this further
Her: you're the cute one
Me: thanks hun :P
Me: aww I wanted to kick it with them I love kids
Her: really? I either like kids or I hate them
Me: yah kids and cute lil ladies like yourself are my favs <--- I liked this text a lot felt very boss daddy
Me: anyone that is really sweet honestly
Me: oh yah my dog too
Her: awwwhhh )
Her: I like cuties like you and my pit bull :)
We exchnage dog photos. I go on a rant about idiots that are afraid of pittbulls and boxers. We both get passionate about it all.
Her: thats why I said my pit is like a teddy bear, he's a very lovable teddy bear :)
Me: aww I'll have to meet him
Her: yeah he's a cute, if you ever do, I warn you that he's very hyper when he mees someone, like hell jump on you and lick you and go nuts lmfaoo
Me: thats the best part!!
Me: i'm tired as hell hun. Night!
Her: nun night
The plan is to reegage over the weekend and get her out monday
Me: Hey dork I just saw the most beautiful american bull dog like holy shit
Her: awwhh they cute
Me: Hows your weekend goin miss
Me: I just went for a hike now i'm healthy AF
Her: bahaha I'm the total opposite. I need to start going back to the gym lmfao
Her: pretty good but sundays are lazy hehe
Me: Lazy sundays are the fuckin best
Me: oh yah lets open up a gym together and sell overpriced protein shakes :)
Her: I would just wanna watch you workout instead :)
Me: Ha! you make me blush sweetheart
Me: So I'm in DESPERATE need of caffiene and would enjoy a coffee with you soon <---getting poor lately lol
Her: I'd like that :)
Me: I get outta class at 4 tomorrow, are you free?
Me: I can kick it around 6 <---another subtle change I've made recently. I like to speak like I'm making room for her in my schedule not jsut begging to get her out
Her: lets do it
Me: Awesome :) ill pick yah up on the magic carpet
Me: you live near (college)?
Her: ok aladdin :)
Her: I live like 10 min from (college)
Her: so close, yeah
Me: ok cool
Me: ill txt yah tomorrow morn and you can send me your address
Me: :) i'm gonna go nerd out on my HW
Me: see yah tomorrow pumpkin
Me: tell your pit I said hi
Her: oh I have calming dog music on for him right now, he's too hyper (crying laughing emoji)
Her: see ya tomorrow :)
SWEET! can't wait to see her huge boobies in person.
Me: Hi beb you still down to hang tonight :)
Her: Yes :P
Me: Awesome :) whats your address it should be around 6 ish
Me: I'll tct yah when I leave
Her: Ok :)
Me: leaving now siri says around 6
Her: lol no
Her: oh wait around 6?
Me: Yes missy
Her: I read that so wrong and thought you were coming in 6 mins (crying laughing Emojis)
Me: lol nah!
Me: not in this traffic!
Her: Take your time lol
Me: like 8 min away
Her: give me 15
Me: 2 min homie
Me: where are the bluffs (crying laughing emoji) <---making fun of her address
Her: Youre funny (crying laughing emoji)
Me: get your butt out here :)
Me: I dont bite
Her: hold im getting dressed
Me: I really enjoyed fucking your cute lil pussy hun
Me: I like your boobies too they are fun to play with
Her: I like your cock :)
Me: good fucking time literally lol
Me: ive got a ton of work to do now! You're distracting me :P
Me: night beb
Her: only a little :)
Her: nun night cutie
BANG TIMES USA LADIES AND GENTLEMAN- This was by far the pinnacle of my pimpdom so far
First off, I'm driving over and this chick is taking forever. I drive around for 10 min and sit in her driveway for another 10, as you can see from the text this was very irritating. She finally gets in the car and she is visably quite flustered to see me, I kiss her on the cheek which makes her even more nervous lol. This chick is very done up, she has like 5k followers on insta so I was expecting a lil bit more but nontheless she's cute enough to have a good time.
We drive around and this chick is acting like she wants nothing to do with me, I know she's nervous but she is transmuting it to low energy boringness. I am verbally gaming myself for 10 min it was like talking to a a potato. We get into starbucks and I claw her in which softens her a bit. At this point I realize that I am going to make this girl FEEL awesome I don't care who she is. I heat things up and become very obnoxious and challenging while holding strong eye contact. I tell her that the curly hair is trouble, I tell her that italians are trouble, I make fun of the people in her town, I shit on the art in starbucks and tell her we are going to steal it all. I also throw in compliments and make her feel special. she starts to open up to me.
We leave starbucks and my car is parked in a very tiny parking lots. I tell her "gimme those lips" and we makeout, then she pulls away and says i'm moving very fast. I make a comment about the parking lot being weird, and difuse anything blame that is being placed on myself, I also tell her that she's so damn cute and I enjoy her delicious lips. We drive around and I tell her to gimme direction to a cool park. We are driving there are she mumbles "oh fuck me". I ask her whats up and she explains she did not take her birth control, I told her why the hell would that matter. A bit of a sexual disqualification but also just easing her worries. We can't find park so I turn around and head back to the shops. I make fun of dollar tree and explain how much I hate it.
We pull into a big strip mall type spot and she has to pee. We go into mcdonalds and I pick her up to walk over a snowbank and squeeze her butt, FINALLY she giggles like a lil girl should and starts to enjoy my company. We pee then leave mcdonalds, she refuses to do a princess spin for me. I carry her over the snow again and give her a big smooch. I now start shitting on ocean state job lot and explain that we are going inside to terrorize the place. I park my car and escalate. I tell her about my boner and explain that he wants to meet her. She yet again says i'm moving so fast at this point I use the LMR verbals I created earlier today and posted in the other discussion:
"...all I'm sayin is act on your intentions not fear...I get it though, you couldn't handle dis magical dick tonight anyhow. He would probably cast a spell on you honey. Just listen to me for a sec kitty kat, I have no problem with your granny panties or the pepperoni nips (kiss) you're sexy just the way you are..(she playfully responds, I don't have granny panties and my nipples are great!!)... Aww yah lets see those dusty cobweb panties (take her pants off), wow I was wrong look at that sexiness (start feeling her pussy) you're so wet too. Maybe you can handle this dick, he needs to take a look for himself (whip dick out). Yeah he likes you, introduce yourself hun (sucks dick). I can't believe we are doing this tonight, but it feels too good lets just roll with it. Lemme see that cute lil pussy of yours. Oh my, she looks so excited but not sure if she is ready for my cock. Fuck it babe I'm doing it anyways (insert dick)."
It goes down something like this... I make it to the granny panties and pepperoni nipple part and she protests that she does not have granny panties and that she has nice nipples! She gives up and is like "If we are going to do this lets move somewhere better." I think I drove with my dick out and then just went from there. I resume the script above somewhat and tell her that it feels so good to have her suck my dick in the car and how we really shouldn't be doing this. I tell her to get her butt in the back of the car. She starts sucking my cock some more and I tell her I need to see those beautiful boobies. At this point she's full fuck toy mode, a complete different animal from what she was when I first met her. She admits that she didn't shave,I tell her I don't give a fucking shit. She then says she's a bad girl for not wearing panties.I strip her down. She makes one last objection asking if I'm clean, I explain that my dick is only for an elite few. She tells me she wants to ride my nice cock first, I let her do it. Then I make it clear that I need to dick her down and it's my turn. I fuck her hard missionary and she claims I'm going a lil too fast and rough (I need to work on this). I tell her that her pussy is so wet and she was must have been thinking about me all day. I let her know how much I enjoy sucking her tits and fucking her sexy body, how good my dick feels inside her. She starts calling me daddy and begs to be fucked doggy style. I fuck her doggy style and drive her nuts, I tell her she's a bad girl and that we were supposed to get starbucks and now we are banging. I say, "this isnt starbucks is it? is it?" She tells me how much she loves my cock over and over again. I tell her I want to cum in her mouth. She says she really really wants to swallow my cum. I bust in her mouth and she giggles with joy. She tells me yet again how much she loves my cock.
We get dressed and I drive her home. I make a point to remain awesome and make her feel good about what we just did. I do not want her to feel used I want her to feel sexually liberated! I say goodnight and she thanks me for a good time :P
the best part about this lay is that I was not in the zone whatsover. I was feeling some lack from earlier in the week, but I applied fundamental skill and blasted through the bullshit.
Nice dude, I would have had a fucking conniption if you didn't bang her after that text convo lol. The at first nervousness was cute; she was definitely intimidated by your awesomeness. 90-95% of dudes couldn't have had that text convo without fucking it up, even though we might consider it to be 'easy' since she was blatantly into you from the start. You handled shit nicely and needless to say, she probably thinks you're a god! Great thread, I hope you continue to roughly take her holes, she deserves it!!
OMFG. New member of the forum? Who IS this!? ;)
The paradigm shift here was that I can be lovey dovey AND slightly aloof which is honestly just too fun. It's mirrored in the text game quite nicely. For example, I accuse her of being a nasty kitten and a then a few texts down I tell her that I'm going to make her purr. It's like I'm awesome and you can be awesome with me if you're cool.
That was a well-concockted sexy time spiel mang. Some obscure references in there as well lol nice.
Last point, it's NOT an lmr buster, it IS the standard for foreplay escalation.