Tinder Cat Sexting and Memes + Lay Report

Me: Hey dork I just saw the most beautiful american bull dog like holy shit

Her: awwhh they cute

Me: Hows your weekend goin miss

Me: I just went for a hike now i'm healthy AF

Her: bahaha I'm the total opposite. I need to start going back to the gym lmfao

Her: pretty good but sundays are lazy hehe

Me: Lazy sundays are the fuckin best

Me: oh yah lets open up a gym together and sell overpriced protein shakes :)

Her: I would just wanna watch you workout instead :)

Me: Ha! you make me blush sweetheart

Me: So I'm in DESPERATE need of caffiene and would enjoy a coffee with you soon   <---getting poor lately lol

Her: I'd like that :)

Me: I get outta class at 4 tomorrow, are you free?

Me: I can kick it around 6  <---another subtle change I've made recently. I like to speak like I'm making room for her in my schedule not jsut begging to get her out

Her: lets do it

Me: Awesome :) ill pick yah up on the magic carpet

Me: you live near (college)?

Her: ok aladdin :)

Her: I live like 10 min from (college)

Her: so close, yeah

Me: ok cool

Me: ill txt yah tomorrow morn and you can send me your address

Her: okie

Me: :) i'm gonna go nerd out on my HW

Me: see yah tomorrow pumpkin

Me: tell your pit I said hi

Her: oh I have calming dog music on for him right now, he's too hyper (crying laughing emoji)

Her: see ya tomorrow :)

SWEET! can't wait to see her huge boobies in person.

Ayeeeeee

Me: Hi beb you still down to hang tonight :)

Her: Yes :P

Me: Awesome :) whats your address it should be around 6 ish

Her: Address

Me: I'll tct yah when I leave

Her: Ok :)

Me: leaving now siri says around 6

Her: lol no

Her: oh wait around 6?

Me: Yes missy

Her: I read that so wrong and thought you were coming in 6 mins (crying laughing Emojis)

Me: lol nah!

Me: not in this traffic!

Her: Take your time lol

Me: like 8 min away

Her: give me 15

Me: ok

Me: 2 min homie

Me: where are the bluffs (crying laughing emoji) <---making fun of her address

Her: Youre funny (crying laughing emoji)

Me: get your butt out here :)

Me: I dont bite

Her: hold im getting dressed

Me: I really enjoyed fucking your cute lil pussy hun

Me: I like your boobies too they are fun to play with

Her: I like your cock :)

Me: good fucking time literally lol

Me: ive got a ton of work to do now! You're distracting me :P

Me: night beb

Her: only a little :)

Her: nun night cutie

BANG TIMES USA LADIES AND GENTLEMAN- This was by far the pinnacle of my pimpdom so far

First off, I'm driving over and this chick is taking forever. I drive around for 10 min and sit in her driveway for another 10, as you can see from the text this was very irritating. She finally gets in the car and she is visably quite flustered to see me, I kiss her on the cheek which makes her even more nervous lol. This chick is very done up, she has like 5k followers on insta so I was expecting a lil bit more but nontheless she's cute enough to have a good time.

We drive around and this chick is acting like she wants nothing to do with me, I know she's nervous but she is transmuting it to low energy boringness. I am verbally gaming myself for 10 min it was like talking to a a potato. We get into starbucks and I claw her in which softens her a bit. At this point I realize that I am going to make this girl FEEL awesome I don't care who she is. I heat things up and become very obnoxious and challenging while holding strong eye contact. I tell her that the curly hair is trouble, I tell her that italians are trouble, I make fun of the people in her town, I shit on the art in starbucks and tell her we are going to steal it all. I also throw in compliments and make her feel special. she starts to open up to me.

We leave starbucks and my car is parked in a very tiny parking lots. I tell her "gimme those lips" and we makeout, then she pulls away and says i'm moving very fast. I make a comment about the parking lot being weird, and difuse anything blame that is being placed on myself, I also tell her that she's so damn cute and I enjoy her delicious lips. We drive around and I tell her to gimme direction to a cool park. We are driving there are she mumbles "oh fuck me". I ask her whats  up and she explains she did not take her birth control, I told her why the hell would that matter. A bit of a sexual disqualification but also just easing her worries. We can't find park so I turn around and head back to the shops. I make fun of dollar tree and explain how much I hate it.

We pull into a big strip mall type spot and she has to pee. We go into mcdonalds and I pick her up to walk over a snowbank and squeeze her butt, FINALLY she giggles like a lil girl should and starts to enjoy my company. We pee then leave mcdonalds, she refuses to do a princess spin for me. I carry her over the snow again and give her a big smooch. I now start shitting on ocean state job lot and explain that we are going inside to terrorize the place. I park my car and escalate. I tell her about my boner and explain that he wants to meet her. She yet again says i'm moving so fast at this point I use the LMR verbals I created earlier today and posted in the other discussion:

"...all I'm sayin is act on your intentions not fear...I get it though, you couldn't handle dis magical dick tonight anyhow. He would probably cast a spell on you honey. Just listen to me for a sec kitty kat, I have no problem with your granny panties or the pepperoni nips (kiss) you're sexy just the way you are..(she playfully responds, I don't have granny panties and my nipples are great!!)... Aww yah lets see those dusty cobweb panties (take her pants off), wow I was wrong look at that sexiness (start feeling her pussy) you're so wet too. Maybe you can handle this dick, he needs to take a look for himself (whip dick out). Yeah he likes you, introduce yourself hun (sucks dick). I can't believe we are doing this tonight, but it feels too good lets just roll with it. Lemme see that cute lil pussy of yours. Oh my, she looks so excited but not sure if she is ready for my cock. Fuck it babe I'm doing it anyways (insert dick)."

It goes down something like this... I make it to the granny panties and pepperoni nipple part and she protests that she does not have granny panties and that she has nice nipples! She gives up and is like "If we are going to do this lets move somewhere better." I think I drove with my dick out and then just went from there. I resume the script above somewhat and tell her that it feels so good to have her suck my dick in the car and how we really shouldn't be doing this. I tell her to get her butt in the back of the car. She starts sucking my cock some more and I tell her I need to see those beautiful boobies. At this point she's full fuck toy mode, a complete different animal from what she was when I first met her. She admits that she didn't shave,I tell her I don't give a fucking shit. She then says she's a bad girl for not wearing panties.I strip her down. She makes one last objection asking if I'm clean, I explain that my dick is only for an elite few. She tells me she wants to ride my nice cock first, I let her do it. Then I make it clear that I need to dick her down and it's my turn. I fuck her hard missionary and she claims I'm going a lil too fast and rough (I need to work on this). I tell her that her pussy is so wet and she was must have been thinking about me all day. I let her know how much I enjoy sucking her tits and fucking her sexy body, how good my dick feels inside her. She starts calling me daddy and begs to be fucked doggy style. I fuck her doggy style and drive her nuts, I tell her she's a bad girl and that we were supposed to get starbucks and now we are banging. I say, "this isnt starbucks is it? is it?" She tells me how much she loves my cock over and over again. I tell her I want to cum in her mouth. She says she really really wants to swallow my cum. I bust in her mouth and she giggles with joy. She tells me yet again how much she loves my cock.

We get dressed and I drive her home. I make a point to remain awesome and make her feel good about what we just did. I do not want her to feel used I want her to feel sexually liberated! I say goodnight and she thanks me for a good time :P

the best part about this lay is that I was not in the zone whatsover. I was feeling some lack from earlier in the week, but I applied fundamental skill and blasted through the bullshit.

Nice dude, I would have had a fucking conniption if you didn't bang her after that text convo lol. The at first nervousness was cute; she was definitely intimidated by your awesomeness. 90-95% of dudes couldn't have had that text convo without fucking it up, even though we might consider it to be 'easy' since she was blatantly into you from the start. You handled shit nicely and needless to say, she probably thinks you're a god! Great thread, I hope you continue to roughly take her holes, she deserves it!!

OMFG. New member of the forum? Who IS this!? ;)

Wooooo!

The paradigm shift here was that I can be lovey dovey AND slightly aloof which is honestly just too fun. It's mirrored in the text game quite nicely. For example, I accuse her of being a nasty kitten and a then a few texts down I tell her that I'm going to make her purr. It's like I'm awesome and you can be awesome with me if you're cool.

That was a well-concockted sexy time spiel mang. Some obscure references in there as well lol nice.

Last point, it's NOT an lmr buster, it IS the standard for foreplay escalation.

Cheers Meow