What do you all think of this Quora story of a mom and her two daughters? P.S. there's a dad in this story too

Several years ago my teenage daughter (13 at the time) had some problems with staying up really late and then it was almost impossible to get her up in the morning. The major reason being she was on her phone/social media with friends until all hours. I felt it was getting out of hand so after 11 pm she had to hand her phone over to me and I’d give it back to her in the morning.

Normally, I’d throw her phone in a drawer and give it back to her the next morning, but for some reason one night I had it on my dresser. Around midnight it started buzzing repeatedly with texts. I got up to put it in the dresser so I wouldn’t hear it, but as I looked at the screen I saw a bunch of texts had come in from her older sister who was away at college. My cell was downstairs in my purse and I thought maybe something was wrong and that’s why she was repeatedly texting her younger sibling. In any case, I opened the most recent text. It turned out to be a text telling my youngest daughter how much she hated me. I know I should have just shut it down and put it back, but I couldn’t believe my eyes and went on to read other texts between them. The texts mainly talked about how upset they were with me and what a bad mom they felt I was (main reasons were I checked up on their grades when they were in high school and limited cell phone usage). My feelings were so hurt. Initially I didn’t say anything to my daughters or husband because I knew I was wrong to have checked her phone.

This happened a week or two before Mother’s Day. In any case, as Mother’s Day approached my husband wanted to know what I wanted to do. He was trying to organize something with the girls for me but I kept shutting it down. I felt it would be so hypocritical for us to do something together because my daughters really didn’t want to be with me anyways. I was so angry and hurt and I didn’t want to say or do anything that might make the situation worse. In any case, I finally told my husband what had happened and why I felt the way I did. We had a huge fight about it and he felt that I had violated their privacy. I admitted to my daughters about what I had done too and expressed my regret about doing it. I told them I was sorry. My oldest proceeded to call me a bitch and told me about all the ways I had ruined her and her sister’s lives. She threatened to tell my friends and coworkers that I was a child abuser.

The relationships I had with my daughters and husband were irrevocably changed because of that event. I had always been the prime disciplinarian in our family. My husband always wanted to be the girls’ friend, he hated the hard part of parenting. After that I cut back on disciplining my youngest and asked my husband to step up more with things. He resents me for it and will say “Why can’t you correct her?” It’s definitely put a wedge between us. He also put a lock on his cell phone so no one can get into or see his messages but him. My oldest and I have mended fences somewhat, but we really aren’t that close. When she needs or wants something she’ll reach out to me at times, but her father is usually her preferred first choice. And my youngest, she is emotionally aloof. I constantly tell her how proud I am of her and that I love her, but she rarely if ever responds. It’s been almost 5 years since the incident. When my father died last year it was one of the few times she said she loved me. I’m not sure if it was sincere or she just felt she had to say it.

Sooo . . ., I often wish I had never found those text messages while snooping. I thought we had a strong family that loved each other but I now realize we only have tolerated each other. Perhaps the old saying “Ignorance is bliss” is true. It certainly would have seemed so in my case.